Like a Million Lights

It was almost lunchtime and I secluded myself inside my bunk. The outside was rowdy but I could hear John singing some song with his acoustic at the back lounge. It was a rare thing for me to see him with his guitar because most of the nights I saw them live, well, he only sings. My ears listened to the front lounge and there was a loud cheering, probably coming from either Jared or Garrett.

I decided to go to the back lounge because I wasn’t feeling crazy enough to join the rowdiness in the front lounge. When I stepped in, John stopped singing and looked up from his guitar. “Oh, hi there, stranger. Haven’t seen you in a couple hours.”

“Not feeling that well.”, I shrugged and sat next to him with my legs pulled up to the couch. He continued to play his guitar and hummed the song. “That sounds beautiful.”

He chuckled a bit and kept that grin on his face. “It’s a new song… still sketchy, but I think I’m starting to like it.”

“Do you already have the lyrics for it?”

“A bit…”, John answered unsurely. “I don’t know if it’s good or not.”

“Play it.”, I demanded. He stopped playing and looked at me with wide eyes. “What? I’m just asking you to play it, because it sounds so beautiful.”

John smiled before strumming his guitar to the melody of the song.

Untangle me
I'm not looking for a sign
Keep your body next to mine and set me free
Untangle me
From these feelings trapped inside
Way out past the smoke and fire is where I'll be
I've been waiting such a long time for someone to come along
Untangle me

When he was done, I clapped my hands and giggled. “That’s really good, John. It’s beautiful.”

“Thanks.”, he set his guitar aside and looked at me. His eyes made me a bit uneasy and I tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear before looking around the room just to avoid his stare.

It was the first time we had an awkward silent. He was the closest friend I had here, even though I was pretty close with everyone, even Dirk. I kept my head down and played with my fingers until the space right under my toes sunk and when I looked up, John’s face was right in front of mine, making our nose bumped. The tip of his upper lips already touched mine and I was frozen on my spot.

Our upper lips already mashed together, but my mouth was still agape and John was like waiting for me. “I won’t hurt you.”, he breathed, assuring me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and slowly closed my mouth, making our lips touched completely. I thought he would do something, but we just sat there with our lips touching on each other’s. He placed his hand on my cheek and leaned his forehead on mine. Surprisingly, I was being impatient, so I titled my head to the side and swallowed his lips.

John jumped a bit but I placed my hand on his shoulder, pushing him down gently. Our lips moved together in sync until we heard someone coming in and he pushed me away. It was a bit unnecessary, but I didn’t fuss because he knew it was wrong.

“Hey guys, we’re stopping at a Pizza Hut for lunch.”, Pat chirped as he stepped into the room. Then, he realized how awkward John and I were. “Are you guys okay?”

“Of course!”, John rolled his eyes, breaking the awkwardness and stood up. “You’re coming, Mars?”

I nodded stiffly and stood up, following his and Pat’s trail out of the bus. Everyone was already outside, even the other bands, including This Century. When Joel saw me, he waved and walking towards me. I smiled a bit and the guilt rushed in, so was the scene earlier with John.

“Hey.”, he grinned and laced our fingers together. I smiled as a reply and had a feeling of John staring, so I looked over to his way and I caught him staring. When he noticed me caught him red handed, he looked away.

It turned so weird between us and it wasn’t pleasant. We all walked into the Pizza Hut and got some booths in the corner. Every band bonded together, the band and the crews, so I ended up in a booth with Joel, Alex, Tanner, Austin, and Vito. What made it worse that John sat on the booth with the others across from us.

After we ordered and the food came, the boys dug in but I just slumped in my seat, barely touching my slice of pizza. Joel noticed this and stopped eating. “Aren’t you hungry?”

“A bit queasy.”, I answered lowly. “I think I’m going to get some air.”

Tanner, who sat on my other side, slid out from the booth so I could get out. I stormed out from the restaurant and sat on a bench in the parking lot near the bus. It was sunny outside and I swung my legs back and forth. I didn’t know what John did or what he meant by that. I wanted to confront him but what if it would make us more awkward than now.

I was so caught up with my own thoughts that I didn’t even notice someone was sitting beside me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. “Mind telling me what’s wrong?”, Joel asked.

“Just some…. Things. I don’t wanna talk about it.”. ‘More like I don’t want you to know’, I thought in my head. Joel gave up and just rested his head on mine. His presence gave me a bittersweet feeling; in one way, he made me calm and happy, but in another way, especially right now, he made me uneasy and guilty.

“Hey, since tonight we don’t have a show and the guys are planning to go out… can you come to our bus for the night? I want to give you a surprise.”

I looked up and met his blue eyes and his smile. “What surprise?”

He pursed his lips. “It wouldn’t be a surprise if I tell you what it is, right?”

“Right-o.”, I giggled. “Fine. What time?”

“Around 8?”
************
When it was 7.50, everyone in the bus was already dressed up to go out, even John. I thanked God that he wanted to go with the guys even though I already announced that I wouldn’t go out because I felt “sick”.

“Are you sure you’re okay being alone in the bus? Even Pat wants to come along.”, Kennedy asked as he laced his shoe laces together.

I shook my head and hugged the blanket that wrapped around my body like a cocoon. “Nah.”, I faked a cough. “I don’t feel so well, and Dirk will kill me if I don’t work tomorrow night.”

“Yeah, Kennedy, let my assistant take a rest for the night. She even helped baby sit you babies since the start of this tour.”, Dirk defended me and gave me a high five.

When they left and I looked out the window to make sure they already got into the cab they called, I darted to my bunk and changed. I brushed my hair and even clipped my bangs up. When I was done, I went over to This Century’s bus.

There was a sticky note with scribbling on it that stuck on the door. “I’m not locked. Come on in =)”

I laughed and pulled the handle so the door would open. I walked up the steps before realizing that it was dark and quiet inside, only with two trails of candles on each side of the way. “Joel?”, I called out. It seemed everyone went out too. The emergency stair that led up to the emergency door on the ceiling was out, and there was another sticky note on it.

“The moon is bright out, right? ; )”, the sticky note said. I shook my head and climbed up. When I popped my head out the emergency door, I saw Joel sitting on the roof of the bus with his back on me. He looked back from his shoulder and smiled. “You made it.”

He stood up and helped me get up to the roof. The view was actually amazing and we stood there, with our fingers laced together and our bodies pressed onto each other’s.

“Nice surprise.”, I smiled and looked up deeply into his blue eyes.

“A beautiful surprise for a beautiful girl, right?”

“Stop it.”, I laughed and buried my face in his chest, hiding my reddening cheek. “I like it when we’re alone. It feels like we’re the only two people in the world.”

“Me too.”, his fingers unlaced themselves from mine and he cupped my face with his hands. “I love you.”

“As I love you.”, I replied before he leaned down and placed his lips on mine. I wrapped my arms on his waist and it was perfect. His lips felt like warm melted chocolate and my lips drowned on them; I didn’t want to release my lips from his.

I opened my eyes a bit and saw that he closed his eyes, but I felt like someone saw us so I looked to the parking lot and saw John, staring at us. Even from afar, I could see his eyes burning in jealousy.