Like a Million Lights

With a sigh, I zipped up my suitcase and just propped my elbow on my thigh as I sat on the edge of Pat’s bunk. Because of what happened last night, they decided to cancel out the rest of the tour. John really broke a rib and his bruises and cuts wouldn’t be off his face for another week. As for Joel, even though he felt a lot better, he still needed to watch his health because of the pills Keane got into his drink.

I looked around the messy bunks and suddenly, it like I was in a nostalgic scene of a movie. I felt like I could hear all the laughter and see all the things I’ve done with the guys for the past few weeks flashing before my eyes.

“Hey, Mars.”

I looked up and saw John smiling down to me. He had his shirt buttoned until his chest, but it was enough to show the bandage that wrapped around his torso. His face was covered in purple patches all over and the cuts were covered with bandages. “Hey.”

He sat down next to me and sighed. We both stayed in silent but I decided to lean my head onto his arm. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.”, John chuckled and carefully wrapped his arm around my shoulder but carefully so he wouldn’t hurt himself. “You’re my miracle.”

“Shut up.”, I muttered and just enjoying the moment we had together. Danielle ratted John and I out when we had to let her out from the hospital’s closet. Surprisingly… and heartbreakingly, Joel said he knew all along. He knew that John liked me and well… we made out a couple times. We talked it out and I convinced Joel that I still love him. At the end of the night, he laughed about it and said it was some kind of a Twilight shit, but he insisted that he wanted to be Edward and John could be Jacob. Pft.

Then, someone went into the bus. John quickly pulled his arm away from me and I sat up straight. Tanner went up the steps and looked at us when he got to the bunks. “Are your bags ready, Rissy? I need to get them to the van.”

“Yeah, just this, Tanny.”, I smiled and pointed to the suitcase. Tanner picked it up and went out from the bus, leaving John and I alone again. “I think this is time.”

“I hate this kind of situation.”, he sighed and stood up, not forgetting to help me up after. Out of nowhere, John pushed me against the wall and leaned down, pressing his lips on mine. It wasn’t like any other kiss we’ve shared, this one was like… a goodbye. A desperate kind of goodbye. I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. Our lips moved in synchronize and I let his tongue in for the last time sake. His hands moved from my hips and now, his arms wrapped around my waist, making our bodies pressed against each other.

Before this leads to something else, I pulled away and smiled. We just rested our foreheads on each other, looking into one another’s eyes. “I love you, Mariza. I’ll wait for you.”

I couldn’t say anything so I just nodded. “Okay… I respect that.”

John knew that was all I could said so he just gave me a quick peck on the lips and we both pulled away completely. Then, I reminded of something. "John.", I called because he was on his way to the door. He stopped and turned around, looking at me.

I took off my camera necklace from my neck and walked towards John, took his hand, and dropped the necklace into his palm. "I want you to have this."

His eyes widened before exchanging glance between the necklace and back to me. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Just a little something."

John smiled widely before wearing the necklace around his neck to go with his other necklaces. We went out from the bus and greeted by the sunny and blazing sun. Garrett and Pat gave me a group bear hug, which crushed me to the bone, but I just hugged them both back. Jared and Kennedy gave me a bear hug each, but Jared even had to spin me around at the end. I said bye to Dirk by hugging each other and he promised me that if he’s going on tour again, I’d be the first one he call to be his assistant.

“Mariza, it’s time to go.”, Joel appeared next to me and clasped his hand with mine. I glanced to John, who was leaning onto the bus and I could see that he was stealing glances to me as well.

“Hold on.”, I muttered before letting go of his hand and ran to John, tackling him into a hug. John was caught off guard but he hugged me back.

“Bye, John.”, I whispered and looked up to him. He looked down to me so our eyes could meet. “I’ll see you around.”

“That’s more like it.”, he smiled and squeezed me once again before letting me go.

“Good luck, John. With everything.”, I said before turning around and walked towards Joel. He quickly took my hand and led me to the van. Tanner was already in the driving seat with Sean sitting shotgun. Joel and I took the very back seat so I can look back.

Tanner started the ignition and I looked back from the back window to everyone and everything. The bus that had been my home for a few weeks, the guys that are now my friends were waving goodbye at us. I waved back and when Tanner started to drive off, I waved specifically to John. He waved back and they were getting further, and when we turned right as we got out from the parking lot, they disappeared.

I sat up front again and laced my fingers with Joel’s. “I love you.”
Joel looked to me and smiled before lifting up my hand and kissed my knuckles. “I love you too.”

It was the summer that changed everything.