Like a Million Lights

The water that washed me over from the shower made my tensed back relaxed for a bit. When in rehab, the shower was forced by the nurses poured cold water over my head or pushed me into the bathtub, gave me a bath like I was a dog. I closed my eyes and leaned forward until my forehead touched the tiled wall. When I was done, I got out and wrapped a towel around my body before going out to my room. It was nice to take a shower in my own room again, making some calm feeling washed over me.

The door was opened and I didn’t even mind because it was my habit; being bare naked with the door opened. Tanner was a bit disturbed and I reminded him that we used to take bathes together. I walked over to my dresser to get some clothes out when I heard some noises came from Tanner’s room. He must’ve in a conversation or webcaming with someone else. He used to do that; being rowdy when he was in call or a webcam chat.

When I was about to unwrap the towel from my body, I felt like someone was watching me from the doorway. I turned on my heels, ready to throw the towel to Tanner, but froze when I realized who it was. He didn’t change a bit, but he did cut his hair. His eyes were wide in shock and surprise and his mouth hung open a bit in his adorable way. I stood there with my hands clutched onto the towel because it was about to fall and revealing my chest.

We were in a staring contest until he cleared his throat awkwardly and walked away. My legs were trembling until I fell right on my butt onto the carpeted floor. He still had that power over me; making me weak and captivated. His eyes were shocked and surprise, but there was still a hint of coldness and hatred.

It took me ten minutes to stand up and changed. When I was done, I walked out from my room and to downstairs. Tanner’s door was wide opened with laughter boomed out from his room. I cursed in my mind how he got the room near the stairs, making me had to pass his before going down the stairs. I kept my head down when I passed his room. The noise that was booming out fell dead silent when I passed his room. Their eyes were sending daggers on me as I passed by and rushed down the stairs. Mom was preparing dinner in the kitchen when I came in and stopped at the doorway. She bowed down to get the chicken out from the oven and turned around to me.

“Oh, Mariza, I’m cooking your favorite.”, she smiled, showing me the tray of hot grilled chicken in her hands.

I forced a smile and nodded a bit. “T-Thank you, mom. Can I walk out for a bit? I need some fresh air.”

She titled her head to the side, trying to read my expression. She probably knew about his presence in the house but didn’t want to bring it up on me. “Okay, just please, try not to be late for dinner.”

“Okay.”, I smiled and rushed to the front door, opening it and running out to the sidewalks.

Joel

When I saw her room’s door was opened widely, I didn’t know she was back. I was led by curiosity. I used to visit the Radcliffe’s household every day to spend every living second with her. She was like a magnet and I was like an iron that attracted to her.

I sat on the edge of Tanner’s window, watching her as she ran out to the sidewalks and disappeared when she was already far. There was no explanation why I ignored her until now. The feeling of hating her for going too far from the edge and how she cheated on me when she was under the influence still left a scar on my heart.

The night I found her wasted and high on a bathroom floor of someone’s house, naked, while an unknown guy was putting his jeans back on. I had a share of beating that guy’s face off, but I never helped her. She was asking for me but I just ignored her. When she was dragged to rehab by her parents, I saw them from the end of the street, I was about to come over and break up with her, but then, she was gone.

6 months passed by, she came back and looking like her old self, before she was lost in the dark hole. I pressed my forehead onto the glass and closed my eyes, shutting everyone else’s voice from my mind.

“No! Joel! I’m ticklish!”, she laughed hysterically as my fingers tickled her bare hips. We were just done swimming in her backyard pool and I chased her up to her room.

“You pushed me to the pool earlier!”, I defended myself and kept tickling her. Mariza’s laughter beamed on the walls and filling my ears perfectly.

She wrestled out from my straddle and rolled us around, making her the one who was on top of me. “Who’s the boss now?”, she smirked before leaning down and pressing her lips against mine softly.

“You are.”, I whispered when she pulled away. She giggled and leaned back to outstretch her arm to her bedside table.

“Close your eyes.”, she told me. I pursed my lips and did so. A moment later, a toxic smell stung my nose and when I opened my eyes, she was laughing on me. “I’m sorry, baby.”

I looked at her with confused eyes and when she showed me what she drew on my face with sharpie, my mouth hung open. “You drew a moustache!?”

“You look like a Mexican!”, she laughed until she rolled over onto my side. There was no bit of anger on me and I just wrapped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“No, it’s okay, as long as you’re happy.”, I whispered and kissed her temple.

Suddenly, someone shook my shoulder, pulling me out of my trance. I sat up straight and snapped my head to the direction. “Dude, my mom said dinner’s ready. You’re staying for dinner, right?”, Tanner asked with a bit of concern drawn on his eyes.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. “Y-Yeah, I’m staying.”

“Okay.”, he sighed. “Uh, guys, can you go downstairs first? I need to talk to Joel.”, he asked for the others. Sean, Ryan and Alex just nodded and walked out from the room. Tanner quickly closed the door and sighed, sitting on the edge of his bed.

We stared at each other for a minute until he rubbed his hands together. “I know it’s going to be awkward.”

“What’s going to be awkward?”, I played dumb. I knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Dude, please, don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. My sister. She’s back. You still hate her.”

He got me right, except for the ‘You still hate her’ part. Hate was a wrong word for my feelings over Mariza. I wasn’t ready to accept her into my life again; it was too painful. “It wouldn’t be awkward.”

“Oh yeah, like I would believe that.”, Tanner rolled his eyes and stood up. “Look, I know you probably needs time to accept her back, but you have to know she’s still loves you.”

“Now, it’s my time to say like I would believe that.”