Like a Million Lights

The darkness of my room felt cozy and familiar, even though it felt a bit weird and strange after 6 months of not sleeping in my own bed. I looked up to the ceiling and sighed, remembering the earlier confrontation with Joel. Venom was dripping from his every word and I couldn't even fight back from his comebacks. He left right away after that, leaving Ryan, Sean and Alex in confusion. I told them the truth even though they wouldn't listen to me, but they left too, probably to catch up with Joel. The only sound that echoed into the room was the soft scratching noise from the branch that went against the window pane outside, but inside my mind, Joel's every word echoed against the walls.

As much as I hate to admit it, but every word that Joel said went straight to my heart. They stabbed my heart like daggers and left opened wounds. I stirred in my bed, leaving my facing out to the window. Sometimes when I couldn't sleep, I would call Joel and he would come in from the window and lie down with me on my bed, singing me to sleep. My eyes stung from the memory and I decided to bury my face in the pillow, pushing myself to slumber.
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When I opened my eyes, the sky outside was still a dull purple but as I wait, it turned to orange, signaling that the sun was already out. I slipped out from my comforter and goose bumps quickly appeared on my legs and arms because of the cold of my room. I crossed my room to my closet to get changed into a pair of shorts and t-shirt. To turn my life around, I decided to be healthier and forget about every single thing about alcohol or drugs.

After changing from my pajamas, I put on my running shoes and got out from my room. The others were still asleep so I quietly made my way downstairs until the front door and slipped out to the porch. After I closed the door behind me, it was nice to get the fresh morning air into my lungs.

I started running off from the porch and to the sidewalks. The air that gushed through me buzzed in my ears and washed my face, making my untied hair flew along with the direction. The neighborhood came alive by the neighbors went outside to get their newspaper or simply just mowing the lawn. Some of them who didn't know about my absent smiled or waved warmly as I ran by, but the ones who knew why I went away only gave me a look. Sweats started to form on my forehead and not too long until it dripped down to my neck and my shoulders, damping my shirt. It was nice to finally get the toxicity out.

When it was almost 8 o'clock, I was already downtown. The shops were started to open one by one and I walked past every shop that I used to visit. I realized that Joel and I used to go to this street. We usually would walk hand in hand, laughing or goofing around as we walk down the street. I stopped in front of the florist that Joel used to buy me flowers from. The old lady who owned the shop came out with a bouquet of yellow roses in hand.

“Oh, it's you!”, she exclaimed excitedly. “I haven't seen you in a while, dearie.”

I smiled to her and nodded a bit. “Yes, I was away for a vacation.”

She smiled widely, showing her white pearls. “Well, what can I do for you? Where's your boyfriend?”, she asked as she walked to one of the white buckets in front of her store that was filled with water to placed the roses.

A lump rose in my throat when she asked me about Joel. I bit a pinch of my lower lip and tried to swallow the lump away. “Well, he hasn't wake up yet.”

The lady sighed a bit and pulled one rose from the bucket and turned to me. “Here, to cheer you up.”, she gave the rose to me. “I hope everything would turn bright for you.”

I smiled a little and thanked her before continuing my way. Not too far from the florist, the diner that we used to go to came into view. I stood in front of the double glass doors with “Louis' corner” in neon lamps on the top of them. The place triggered so many memories; my first date with Joel, our graduation night, the dinner with our friends when they got signed, and our last dinner together a week before he caught me in the bathroom floor.

With a deep breath, I pushed the door open and stepped into the air freshened room. The white and sea-foam green tiled floor spread out and I walked to the corner booth quickly, ignoring the looks from the waitresses behind the counter. They knew who I was and half of them knew what I went through.

After I sat down, the clicked of a pair of kitten heels shoes was heard. A few moments later, the dark haired girl that was my best friend stood in front of me with wide eyes and a second later, her hands were on her hips. “You're back.”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“And you don't even tell me.”, she said sternly and I could see her eyes glistened under the halogen lights.

It hurt to know that you were hurting your best friend. “I'm sorry. Danielle, I'm really sorry.”

She bit her lower lip and looked away before turning on her heels and walked away in a rush. An older waitress came to replace her, taking my order. I ordered a cup of coffee and when she walked away to get it, I leaned back onto the seat and looked out to the window. Tanner would probably wondering where I am, but he would probably guessed that I'd be here.

The waitress came back and placed my hot cup of coffee along with the basket of sugars and creamer before walking away to the counter. I ripped open a package of sugar when I heard the bell on the top of the door rung once, signaling that someone just came into the diner.

It was a guy and he had the hood of his hoodie covering his head, so I didn't know who he was. He had his hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie and taking the booth across from mine. When he pulled off the hood, I hissed a bit. It was Joel.

Luckily, he had his back on me so he didn't see me and when he walked to his booth, he was looking down. Danielle came out from the back and smiled when she saw Joel. She walked to his table and greeted him with a warm smile, a smile that someone give to someone that they like.

My stomach lurched when I realized something; Danielle liked Joel and she was flirting with him right in front of my nose. I put a five dollar bill on the table before standing up and rushing out from the diner, not caring if Joel saw me or not.