Where You Belong

“Mm, this is good cuddle weather.” Anna sighed, bringing her mug of hot chocolate to her lips and sipping at it carefully. “What can I do, babe?” She asked, looking over to Tyler and Steven who were both sitting in front of the entertainment center holding manuals as they tried to figure out how to hook up the television.

“You can sit there and look good.” Tyler insisted without lifting his gaze from the paper. She knew that they should have had the movers install everything like they had offered to.

“I’m gonna put a pizza in, is anyone else coming over?” She asked, bracing a hand on her stomach as she very slowly lifted her body from the sofa. She was just under six months now that it was late April and the pregnancy was really taking a toll on her body.

“Just You, Me, Brad and Kampfer.” He added, looking up at Anna with a frustrated pout. “I don’t think we have enough groceries for all of them yet. We can order in when Marchie gets here.” He insisted, speaking of one of the other youngsters on the team that had become his best friend. Anna nodded with a sigh, heading into the kitchen nonetheless to grab her box of English toffee and peanut butter to dip them in.

Tyler and Anna had found a home they both liked just short of a month ago, but due to the business of the season and Anna’s transition from work into a stay-at-home girlfriend, they hadn’t had much time to move. It was a big home in the swanky part of Back Bay Boston. Tyler didn’t give Anna full disclosure on just how much the home cost, but she knew that it was more than six figures.

Four bedrooms, four baths, and more square footage than they’d ever need, Tyler’s mother was coming down in a few weeks to help her with a little bit of the interior design. It was also nice to know that a few of the other tenured players would be living in the area as well, which made them feel more welcomed to the neighborhood. Anna could feel the stares of some of the people when she and Tyler would take walks when her ankles began to swell. The young man with the older, pregnant woman. It wasn’t as if she was thirty, but she knew that they were judging.

Anna sighed as she leaned against the counter top, balancing the jar of peanut butter on her tummy. If she was already this big at six months, she didn’t want to think of how big she would be at nine. Tyler tried to tease her and tell her that their baby boy would come out two years old. She cried and said they were having an elephant baby. He regretted his statement.

Anna took her cell phone with her and left the kitchen, going straight upstairs and past she and Tyler’s shared bedroom to the only finished room of the house. Big, blue letters spelled Aidan on the front of the white door and she slowly pushed the door open to reveal their son’s nursery. Blue walls were lined with a border of teddy bears in hockey uniforms. Dark mahogany furniture was arranged including a canopy crib, a changing table and matching rocking chair. Blankets were washed and folded as well as the warm, jersey sheets over the tiny mattress. Toys, books, and stuffed animals lined shelves and sat all over the room while the closet was filled with cute onesies, tiny socks and plenty of tiny hockey paraphernalia.

Sitting down in the rocking chair, Anna put her feet up as she sighed, closing her eyes after twisting the wind-up on the mobile over the crib, listening to the soft tune it played as she swayed in the chair.

She wasn’t sure how her life had taken this turn. She was twenty-three, moved into a house with a nineteen year old boy that had knocked her up. Her grandma would be rolling in her grave if she knew she was pregnant out of wedlock and living in sin. She had given up her dream job wit the college and until further notice was unemployed so that she could maintain the upkeep of the giant home her hockey-playing beau had bought and paid for. All she could think of was how her grandpa used to say “if He brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it.” She just wondered what wait would be waiting on the other end once she got “through” this.

Before she knew it, Tyler was gently, shaking her arms, kissing her softly on her temple.

“Wake up, babe, you’re going to wreck your back sleeping like that.” He insisted. “Come on, dinner’s here and so are the rest of the boys.” He carefully helped her out of the chair. Once she had gained her balance, he held her carefully in his arms. “You okay?” He asked, brushing her blonde wisps back from her face.

“Yeah.” She rasped, a sign that she had been sleeping with her mouth open.

“You sure? You’ve been acting a little off lately, Anna.” He insisted, his honey-brown eyes searching her face. It was at times like these that she felt younger than him rather than the other way around.

“Just tired I guess.” She shrugged. “Is Brianna coming tonight?” She asked hopefully, wishing for just a little estrogen in her life. With all the hockey boys over and a little boy bun in her over, she was craving some female contact.

“No, I think Loochie is taking her out to dinner, popping the question tonight.” He grinned, making Anna blush. Tyler had told her when Milan bought the ring and his plans to ask Brianna to marry him after more than eight months of dating.

“I love weddings.” Anna sighed happily as she lead the way out of the nursery. “Did you get me good stuff?” She asked, already smelling the Thai food in the family room and able to hear the loud voices of the boys.

“Mama Seg!” Brad Marchand grinned happily, digging into his curry dish out of the white take out box.

“Hi boys.” Anna smiled, wishing she was back in her rocking chair nodding off. Grabbing the white box marked Anna’s! Do not touch! She smiled upon seeing the pad Thai in the box, settling herself down into the sofa as Brad triumphantly turned the television on. “Good job, Steve.” Anna smiled, making Kampfer blush.

“So Mama, how much longer till baby Seg greets the world?” Brad asked, placing his hand on Anna’s tummy. “Whoa – ho!” He called out, startling Anna. “I can feel him poppin’ around in there!” He grinned from ear to ear, causing Steven to reach over and place his hand on Anna’s ever-expanding tummy as well.

Anna giggled as she placed her hand on her tummy as well, remembering the first time they felt Aidan kicking. It was an indescribable feeling, like having butterflies, or popcorn popping within your tummy. With her hand on her tummy and her child moving around within her, she looked over to Tyler and couldn’t help but smile at the look on his face.

Sure, this wasn’t exactly what she wanted for her life at this moment in time, but doing it with Tyler made it a little more tolerable.

•••

Anna shifted uncomfortably in her seat at the Garden. Tonight, the Bruins were playing the Devils for their last regular season game at home and she was having a hard time finding a way to sit in the seats in the lower bowl without tweaking her back or having enough leg room. She could feel her ankles swelling.

The game was uneventful to say the least, the Bruins were losing to the Devils and Tyler hadn’t been contributing much other than the penalty he took for tripping.

Anna could feel the stares, she could tell how stretched out her Seguin jersey was across her tummy. Everyone knew she was pregnant with Tyler’s child thanks to those awful girlfriend websites. She knew they were judging her. They thought she wasn’t pretty enough for him. They thought she was trapping him.

She got up from her chair as quickly as possible when the final buzzer rang, making her way to the family lounge to drown her sorrows in a big bottle of purple Powerade as she waited for Tyler. More stares in the family lounge made tears water in her big eyes

Tyler was one of the first to enter the lounge after his lackluster night and his expression turned to concern upon seeing Anna standing alone near the door.

“Hey baby.” He frowned, cupping her face with one of his hands. “You okay? What’s the matter?” He whispered.

“Can we just go home?” She asked quietly. Tyler nodded, taking her hand in his and leading her out to the car as it began to rain gently. The ride home was silent. Tyler knew that if she wanted to talk about it, she would bring it up but until then, it was best not to push her.

Entering the house, Anna went straight up to the room after grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. Tyler sighed, loosening his tie and slipping his shoes off before lining them up in the front closet.

Slowly walking up the stairs, he paused upon hearing soft sobs coming from the master bedroom. Pushing the door open, he frowned even deeper after seeing Anna sitting on the edge of the bed still completely clothed.

“Anna, babe, please. Tell me what’s wrong.” Tyler insisted, walking over and wiping her fallen tears off of her pink cheeks.

“I’m ugly.” She let out with a loud sob. “I’m old and fat and ugly and everyone knows.” She damn near wailed, hugging her tummy and letting her eyeliner run.

“What? Why would you ever think that?” He asked, genuinely surprised by her outburst. “You are none of those things.” He insisted.

“Everyone looks at me because I’m so fat and I’m old and I’m having your baby and you’re young and pretty.” She began to hiccup uncontrollably. “Everyone can tell that I don’t belong here.” She sobbed.

“Anna none of that is true! You are not old, you’re twenty-three! You’re not fat, you’re pregnant and you’re most certainly not ugly. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on!” Tyler assured her, wiping her tears and kissing her cheek gently.

“I can’t get my shoes off!” She sobbed, covering her face in embarrassment. “My ankles are all swollen and I can’t reach them over my belly.” She cried a little more gently. Tyler kneeled down to the ground and slowly took her feet out of her Puma tennis shoes.

“That’s what I’m here for, babe.” Tyler gave her a gentle smile, not wanting to upset her any further. “Please believe me.” He insisted, sitting beside her on the bed. “You’re beautiful, Anna. I’ve thought so ever since I met you that night in your doorway and you thought I was just some minor trying to get into your pants.” He said, making her bite back a giggle.

“Then why don’t we ever have sex?” She asked, making his eyebrows shoot into his hairline. “You never touch me anymore.” She said, turning away from him and laying down on the bed, her back to Tyler.

“Because I don’t want to push you, Anna. You know I love you but you’re not sure of your feelings about me and I don’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable. Plus I don’t – I don’t really know what to do now that your belly is so big.” He bit his lip. “I don’t want to be awkward.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well my hormones are on overdrive and I’m going crazy in here, Tyler! I need something! Anything! And if I can’t get it from you, I’m two minutes from calling Patrice!” She threatened; hitting a sore spot because she knew how insecure Tyler could be sometimes about she and Patrice’s friendship. Tyler flipped down on his side, wrapping an arm around Anna just under her breasts as he pressed the length of his body against hers.

“If you wanted me, all you had to do was say.” He growled into her ear before taking her earlobe between his lips. “You are so sexy, Anna. You have no idea how beautiful you are – and the fact that you’re carrying my child only makes me want you more.” He said, kissing up and down her neck, opting to skip the foreplay and had already yanked her jeans down her legs.

“But I’m fat.” She whimpered out, trembling in anticipation.

“For the last time, you’re not fat, you’re pregnant. I don’t want to hear you call yourself fat anymore.” He stated firmly, making her nod while he slowly dragged her panties down her legs to join her jeans on the carpet.

“But I-“

“Shh.” He silenced her, kissing down her protruding belly to her apex where she was hot and wet. “The next thing I want to hear out of that mouth is a scream.”

Tyler loved to prove to her that he was a man, not a boy. Once he had succeeded in calming her fears about her physical appearance, she was panting softly, a sheen of sweat on her forehead and her chest heaving lightly as he traced patterns across her tummy.

“Do you want me to…” She bit her lip, wondering just how the hell she could ever give him a little oral attention with her awkwardly shaped body.

“I’m fine, baby.” He insisted, “don’t worry about me.” He pushed some of her hair back from her forehead. Rolling to the side and getting out of bed, Anna let out a soft whine upon seeing Tyler’s naked butt leave the room. He might be young, but he had a body that was built for sin.

“Ty?” She called out, pulling her blankets up over her tummy as it started to rain outside, the temperature dropping quickly.

Tyler entered the bedroom a few moments later, not bothering to cover his modesty as he held a children’s book in his hand.

“Did you just walk into Aidan’s nursery naked?” She giggled. He was glad to see a smile on her face. Tyler simply shrugged as he crawled back into bed, curling into her side as he propped open The Very Hungry Caterpillar and began reading from it. While he read, Tyler rubbed his hand over Anna’s tummy as she lightly rubbed the back of his head.

While Anna was unsure of her future and what it would hold once Aidan was born, it was nice to have Tyler who was so sure of himself. He wanted Anna and he wanted his baby.