Crash and Burn

The day starts out like any other. Mornings are crazy in New York, and the subway is even crazier, so I wake up extra early to make it to work on time. I didn’t stay the night with Jason, because getting up at five in the morning to rush home, get ready, and be at work by seven would have killed me. Especially since I have barely been sleeping lately.

It takes all my willpower to leave my bed and start my morning routine, which is odd for me. I have always been a morning person, even when the morning meant having to go to school. Now though, the sun is starting to creep up and I just want to curl up and never leave my bed.

I would stay in bed too, if Jason had not called, saying he had something he knew I would be excited about to tell me, but he wanted to tell me in person. My brain is all over the place now. Maybe he is going to ask me to marry him, or even better, maybe he is going to ask me to move in with him. I try not to get too excited though. Don't want to get my hopes up.

My morning routine goes by much faster than normal. I begin to feel the excitement bubbling in my stomach, despite my worries that the news is not going to be something dealing with our relationship. I decide to wear a cute dress and a cardigan that Jason has yet to see, in case things are going to go the way I think they might.

The ride to work feels so long, but knowing I am getting closer intensifies my nervousness, making me want to go back home. I walk quickly, hoping that by doing so I won't pass out. Once I get to the front of the building I take a deep breath, then open the door slowly.

“Hey Lillie!” The receptionist smiles at me. I smile, hoping she doesn't notice I feel sick.

“How are you today, Martha?”

“Great!” She grins, and turns to get back to work.

I walk further in slowly, when all of a sudden my coworker Sandra runs up to me. “Lillie! Mr. Allison wanted me to grab you and take you to his office as soon as I saw you!”

My face must have changed colors, because she gives me an odd look. “Everything okay?”

I sigh. “No.”

“What’s wrong?”

I smile, “Nothing! I just…I think he might be asking me to marry him, or move in with him, or something.”

Sandra’s face lights up. “I have been waiting for something like that to happen!”

Everyone at the office knows about our relationship, much to Jason’s annoyance. I told Sandra, and then it spread like wildfire. He confronted me about it, saying it would ruin our careers. He was wrong, of course, since he is now my boss.

Sandra walks with me as I head towards Jason’s office. My palms are sweaty and I am sure I am much more pale than usual. Once we reach the door, she waves and flashes me a big smile, continuing to stand there.

I take another deep breath and knock on the door.

“Come in”, Jason calls.

I step in slowly, and smile. “Hey.”

Shutting the door behind me, I move to the chair in front of Jason’s desk, and sit down slowly.

“So, like I said earlier, I have something exciting to tell you.”

He stands up, and I suck in my breath quickly. Maybe this is it.

He walks over to me, and leans down, smiling.

I think I am going to pass out, or puke, or both.

“Lillie…”

“Yes?”

He leans in closer. “We booked My Chemical Romance for an interview and photoshoot! And it’s been decided that you are just the girl to take these photos!”

The feelings I had before, of passing out and puking, magnify by ten.

“You mean…all of them?”

Jason gives me a weird look, then straightens and walks back to his desk.

“Yes, all of them!”

I feel bile rise in my throat, and small tears roll down my cheeks. Jason looks at me, concerned.

“Lil, hun, are you okay?”

Lil. That does it. I stand and run to the bathroom, passing Sandra, who just stands there. She is probably stunned and confused. I’m sure Jason is too.

But, I don’t care. At that moment, I just want to run away. Far, far away.

Once I reach the bathroom, I bend over the closest toilet, not even caring to close the stall, and throw up my breakfast.