Can You Take Me Back to the Person I Used to Be?

"I can't, Amanda." I told her.

She followed me backstage after I ran away.

"What harm is watching them going to do?" She asked.

"I just can't! Okay? I thought I hated him, I really did. But seeing him today just made me remember that I can't ever hate him. If I stay here and watch them play, then I'm going to go back to him and nothing is going to be different." I exclaimed emotionally.

"Okay," She sighed. "But I can't leave."

"That's fine, um, I'm going to go hang out in the coffee shop across the street. Just call me when you're ready to leave." I told her quickly as I was antsy to leave the venue with loud music pounding though it.

"Caty! Calm down. What's the matter with you?" She cried.

"I- nothing. It's not important." I said before rushing out of the venue.

Well, I underestimated the time it would take to get to that coffee shop even though I was walking at the speed of lightening. The little coffee shop turned out to be about a mile away.

I finally walked in and ordered a small hot chocolate. Then I sat down on one of comfy couches.

I sipped my hot chocolate and tried to stop thinking about everything that was going on in my life.

"Hello." An older, but not old woman said to me.

"Oh, hi." I replied politely.

"Is there something bothering you?" She asked.

"I, um what makes you ask?" I chuckled nervously.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I study peoples body language and you look really tense. You walked in here quickly, you're drinking a comfort drink, you keep wiping your hands on your skirt as if they're sweaty. I just thought I'd give you an outlet to talk about it." She offered.

"I just saw my ex for the first time in two weeks since he walked out on me. I tried to convince myself that I hated him, but I just can't hate him. I can't even think about moving on." I confessed.

"Because you love him." She stated simply.

"I wish I didn't." I sighed.

"Think about it. Do you really wish you didn't love him? Wouldn't you rather feel pain, than never feel anything?" She questioned.

"I-I..." I stuttered. "I guess you're right. But we fight all the time. We fought before we were even together!"

"What about when you're not fighting? Does that time justify the arguments?" She asked.

"Yes." I answered confidently. "It more than makes up for the fighting. He's...perfect. He always knows what to say."

"Would you like my advice?" She asked sincerely.

"Very much." I told her desperately.

"Let him work to get you back. Then let him back into your life. Instead of fighting with him, fight for him. When you find yourself in the middle of an argument just stop, grab his hand, and say 'I love you'. I've been married fifteen years. It works every time. If you still feel this way about him after as much as you've gone though, then you're not going to find anybody else you love more. He's the one." She told me.

"Thank you." I whispered as I got up to hug the woman. "You don't know how much you've helped."

"I think I do." She said before patting my lower stomach. "You've got that glow."

My phone buzzed and I got a message from Amanda.

From: Amanda

Ready to go?

"Thank you so much. I wish I could repay you somehow." I frowned.

"Don't. My reward is knowing that I helped fix things." She smiled.

"Thank you," I grinned. "I have to go, though. It was great talking to you."

"Same to you. Good luck." She winked.

I just smiled and left the small cafe. I walked back to the venue with a content look on my face.

"Ready?" Amanda asked as she saw me approach her car in the parking lot.

"Yeah." I nodded.

We'll be fine.