Can You Take Me Back to the Person I Used to Be?

I walked through the door at 7:30 to find an empty house. Not that I was surprised. John was never home anymore and he didn't even have the consideration to let me know where he was or when he would be coming back. For all I know he could be dead on the side of the road somewhere.

Ever since I got my job at the hospital as a nurse, John and I had just been drifting apart. Whenever I had a day off I just wanted to rest or relax and he wanted to party. He would get lonely during the day and go off and hang out with his friends and not come back until some ungodly hour. Usually I would get fed up that he disrupted my sleep and go sleep on the couch or I would try to just ignore it and end up moving because his cigarette/liquor stench was enough to make me want to vomit.

I changed out of my scrubs and hopped in the shower. I turned on the hot water and sighed as it soothed my tense muscles. I got caught up in my thoughts and didn't notice John come home. It wasn't until the water turned scolding hot that I knew somebody was using the bathroom.

"What the hell?!" I shrieked.

"Sorry." I heard John say from outside the door.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes before returning to my shower. Once I felt like I was clean enough I turned the knob to the left and grabbed my towel from the towel rack. I shook out my hair and wrapped the towel around my body. I tucked it into itself and walked out of the bathroom.

"Hi." I greeted as I walked into the living room and saw John sitting on the couch.

He looked away from the tv and nodded at me briefly.

I frowned and kissed his cheek hoping to get his attention.

He just kept staring at the television, but I saw a small smile creep up on face.

I grabbed the remote from the coffee table and pressed the large red button. The screen went black and John turned to me.

"I miss you." I whispered.

"I'm right here." He retorted.

"That's not what I mean and you know it." I frowned. "I miss the way we were. We need to do something about...this."

"About what?" He asked dumbfounded.

"About everything! We hardly ever speak anymore! And when we do it's just arguing. I can't even remember the last time you told me you loved me." I told him as my voice cracked.

"Well it's not like you make it much better miss I-work-sixty-hours-a-week!"

"I'm sorry, John! I'm sorry, but I miss all the things we used to do. I miss when you would pick me up from work and take me out to eat, or when you would bring me a homemade lunch. I miss us." I exclaimed, still standing in front of John in only a towel.

"Yeah, well things change. Sorry I can't be The fucking Notebook everyday." He said calmly as he snatched the remote and turned the tv back on.

"Do you even love me anymore?" I asked him quietly.

He put his head down and sighed.

"Caty," He started. "I love you so much."

I smiled and moved to kiss him. He avoided me and looked away before speaking again.

"We're leaving for tour in two weeks."