It's Always a Fight Against Time

Lucas and I both were sat up against the headboard as we looked over to see Zacky standing at the door. Jinx jumped up too so he sat hidden by the bed and only the top of his head was seen. I listened to him groan in pain as my attention was focused on him a moment, then I looked back to the door and Zacky.

“Sorry, didn't mean for it 'ta slam...” Zacky mumbled as he bit on his lip and one of the rings that were in the corner, and brought in food. I groaned now and my stomach growled loudly.

“I'm starved...” I complained as the chocolate and white chipped pancakes were given to me. I eat them plain, without syrup just because it’s less messy and already too sweet.“THANKYOU!” I almost yelled as I hugged Zacky awkwardly and shoved my mouth with a ripped off piece in a single motion. I never, in my life, had been so excited about food... ever.

“Mmmmm.” I groaned savoring the wonderful chocolaty taste. I lay backwards on my back and sat the plate on my stomach.

“Umm...You eat, we'll be back.” Zacky laughed before quickly grabbing Jinx and Lucas, pulling them along with him out of the room. I didn't even think twice about it and what they were leaving “to do” or “to talk about;” I had too much else on my mind at this moment.

Food…
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-Lucas's pov-

“Ow, dammit dude, let the fuck go!” I snapped. He had a hold of mine and Jinx's arms as he took us with him from the bedroom. It wouldn't be so bad but he was pinching the skin in his grip and my arm felt like it was slowly dying from lack of blood flow. What the fuck is his problem?!

“Sorry.” He let us both go but still continued walking down the stairs, onto the main floor and then down another set of stairs behind a door to a basement. All the other guys were there setting around on the couches and chairs in the huge open expanse of a room.

I sat on the empty sofa; Jinx took a seat next to me and Zacky sat in the empty spot next to Jimmy.

“I'm going after Shimmy.” Matt's deep, hoarse voice broke the silence. “Whether you all come with me or not, I don't fucking care. But I'm leaving tomorrow morning to find the fucker...I swear-” And then he trailed off.

Matt and I both came to an understanding; we get along now even though we don't particularly agree with what each other have done in the past in regards to Blaire. Although we made an effort. To a minute extent I guess we are friendly towards another, we don't want to rip off each other’s heads off anymore. Blaire's safety is that one common similarity we both have.

“I'm going with you.” I said quickly. I honestly had believed every word she said the moment she started screaming at me about it, it just was so...unlikely. Unbelievable and shocking, Shimmy? It isn't exactly something you expect or that makes any sense at all. 'Why?' was literally the only question I wanted to know from him. Why on the fucking earth would you try to kill your (seemingly) best friend? It not like he was always gone, hell they pretty much were always were together and she told me a few times that she trusted him...So why would he do that to her? It’s so unbelievable.

“Me too.” Both Brian and Zacky said at the same time, in unison.

“Um...Do I have to go?” Jimmy asked nervously, “Cause you know I fucking love Blairie and all but...I just, I just don't want to... you know, hurt him when I see him and...and.... do fucking stuff.”

“Naw, someone needs to stay here with her and Ale anyways. You and Jinx can.” Matt reasoned.

“But what if I wanted to go tear the fucker to pieces?!” Jinx yelled. We all stared at him with eyes the size of golf balls, I swear. Never had I or anyone else (assuming from their reactions) ever heard Jinx talk like that. Sure the flirty shit, but never in rage of vengeance. That just wasn't like the Jinx we know at all.

“You're staying...” Matt told him like a mother telling her kid ‘no’ to a toy or something like it. And just like a kid, Jinx tried to talk and mutter something like a ‘but-‘to the objection. Matt however cut him off again “NO fucking ‘but’s’. We trust you and Jimmy. Stay here with Ale and Blaire. It will be better that way.”

I didn't know Matt’s plans at all; I didn't really care about his plans either. All I knew was that tomorrow morning; Matt, Zacky, Brian, Johnny and I were all getting on a flight to LA to search for and “go after” Shimmy.

What would happen after we found him, who knows? What about when we leave, what would become of him; again, who knows?

I really don't even care.

Payback: it’s a fucking bitch.

Its hateful, hurtful, wrong and animalistic in so many waysto think about what we were doing and then on top of that, even worse to go about carrying out those thoughts… but none of us cared. Blaire was almost killed; the baby who no one else really knows about was almost killed also. I couldn’t let that go without some sort of reaction on my part. In cases like these you want to forgive and forget but it’s so hard. Everything becomes so hard that forgetting and forgiving are nearly impossible. Shimmy was trusted and then he did something horrible. Blaire couldn't even fight him back, she wasn’t able to defend herself. He was a lowlife bitch.

We stayed down there a while talking about it, yelling more than anything.

But that whole time, in the back of my mind, I felt guilty. Like it was my fault for her to run away and go back home… she shouldn’t have been left there alone. Especially in the part of town she was in. I should have made her stay at my place or stayed with her there in hers.

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-Blaire's pov-

My head turned to watch Ale limp into the room from the door.

“They’re planning something.” He said quietly in a mumble but I heard him clear as day.

“What do you mean?” My attention was back at full, all details stuck out once more. My mind was no longer only on food and eating (as sad as that sounds. Hey, I get very easily distracted at times such as these.)

“They are yelling from the basement, you can hear them the whole way up here.” I don't hear anything though. My eyebrows scrunched up in thought. Ale limped over and collapsed heavily on the bed next to me, making me giggle as I bounced up some from the sudden impact. Ale wasn't exactly a chubby guy, he was actually rather skinny and didn't weigh much of anything but still, I bounced some. He looked over and smiled at me some before shaking his wet head most likely thinking about my giddiness and acting like a complete child. I was happy that he wasn't completely depressed and that I could still make him happy in a way. Even if it was only a single chuckle every once and a while- be there for him. You know?

We lay there listening to the radio. More specifically, to the hockey game that happened to be on one of the stations. I never was one for hockey but it seemed exciting in a way. The New York Islanders against the New York Rangers. (How many hockey teams are there in a state?) Two? It’s ridiculous and they are so close together! We laughed at the loud boo’s that overpowered and were louder than even the talking people on the radio. It was funny, I had no clue who was booing who, but it’s always a fun thing to do. At least when it isn't directed at you anyways; I just now remembered that part. We changed the station not too long after that to another rock station and the comforting sounds of All That Remains filled the room.

Next thing I knew, I was asleep dreaming nightmares.

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-Shimmy's pov-

It had been over a week since I met up with my half “brother,” Joel and his gang. Now, there are new conditions to this whole situation; this fucked up mess I got myself into. When you are in my situation, being a new dad who’s in prison and has no way of helping out in bills for your own kid and his mother...then you'll understand. Joel has money, shit loads of it after fighting and dealing drugs. It was all illegal money when you really think about it but I didn't care. I just needed a way to support them, you know? There were only so many options available while being held in a prison without any chance of a job.

Joel’s (also known as Gronk in the LA fighting scene) mind was only on revenge. To kill the one person, the one girl, 'that screwed his life away' (in his words, not mine.) He found out she was in the Bay with me and that's where this hell all started. He promised me to take care of Cristina and Kristopher money-wise, while I was stuck in prison. He never met either of them in person or made any contact with them (per my request) but he had one of his “guys” drop off cash every 2 weeks in Cristina’s parent’s private mailbox.

My end of the deal was getting close to “the princess” of the underground and then eventually killing her for Joel. (Not that I knew what he meant or whom at the beginning.) Now you probably are wondering why he wouldn't do it himself, right?- Well he’s a pussy and one of the most wanted men in America...that's why. Everyone thinks he's dead; it would be a little to convenient for him to suddenly “rise up” back to life.

That’s the biggest mistake of my whole entire fucking existence. I should never have gone to him for that money, no matter what. I could have got loans out somehow or did some other shit… Borrowed from my boss racing, anything else would have worked out so much better.

Because getting close...

They grow on you so much.

With Blaire, trying to keep it professional... it’s not very easy at all. Sure she’s a tough ass bitch sometimes, scratch that all the time. She still is in even in her weakest moments but still, after a while... you can’t imagine being around anyone else; Ever. She’s one of a kind. Not scared of just about anything and stubborn as fuck. She most definitely is herself though.

At that meeting (three days after I was “unsuccessful” in Joel's words,) I was told I have 2 weeks to track her down and finish it completely... That was 9 days ago. I only have 5 left. It was a matter that took every ounce of mind over matter to solve. I know where she is, with Lucas in New York City. Where else would she go but to her best friend, Ale. But I wasn't going there.

Last night I had nightmares, just like nights prior. I couldn't nor would I kill her. I can’t. I won’t.

Now, I currently am over at my mother's place and have a sleeping Kristopher in my arms. My everything. I'm holding him close to my chest and heart as I explain to my mother what I'm doing. I leave out most of the stuff other than borrowing money in exchange for my end of the bargain. I did tell her about the money borrowing but instead opted to tell her that he needs his money back and I can’t give it to him. I couldn't do it and so I'm running. I'm running from the one guy that could easily track me down and find me without as much as a single snap of his fingers. I want her to come with me, to hide with Kristopher and me, the same with Cristina but they both think I am insane. They just don’t get how serious this all is.

I just can’t tell them that I’m running away so I don’t have to murder someone. And without telling them that, they just won’t get it.

I knew Joel wouldn't hurt my mom though; he grew up with her as a mother just like I had. He isn't that heartless so as to hurt her because of me. We had the same father but my mom is who raised him.

Cristina, she was different. She never wanted Kristopher in the first place; she doesn't give a shit about either of us. All that she wanted was the money I gave her every other week to basically “babysit” him for me as I was in jail. Even then, my mom had him a majority of the time. Cristina willingly handed Kristopher over the moment I got out, grateful to give him back to me. She said that she's “done playing house and wants to life like a normal 21 year old”; aka without a kid. I told her “fine, it's your choice” and I left without another word.

I wasn't sure what Joel would or could actually do to her; even with her literally not wanting me or Kristopher in her life. She was done with us; yet there will always be that place in my heart where I love her...love her for taking care of Kristopher when I couldn't and more importantly giving me him.

As much as I love them both, I needed to take off. Now. Before it was too late and time ran out. I raced a few extra high key races the past week and now have about 5 grand extra in cash, so I have a whole 10 thousand dollars to my name. It was enough to disappear somewhere and stay low key for a while, but how? How do people just disappear without a trace? I never understood the concept but I was about to find out. I didn’t have a choice; my only option was running. Far away.

'God I am such a coward.' I told myself in my mind as I kissed my mother goodbye. I carried my backpack on my back and another smaller duffle bag was carried in a hand. My arms were wrapped around in a cradle, holding my confused yet carefree and happy little baby to my body tightly, for dear life.

First thing I did was go to the airport. I bought two separate tickets for myself, since I would be holding Kristopher on the plane... One ticket was for somewhere in Alaska, the other somewhere near Illinois. I didn't care to know the exact place, all I needed to do was wait until the last minute and then in that split second... walk. Whichever gate I came to first was where I was going. I would only use one of those tickets; both planes took off the same exact time.

We would obviously only be on one.

I waited until 12 am before standing from the waiting area and walking off to my left. I had an hour until the plane left for wherever, and I walked in search of gate 24A or 59C which ever would come first. I looked to my left, searching out gate numbers as I lugged everything down the crowded hallway. I was currently going towards the food and shops in LAX. I happened to glance around as I pushed through people, the huge crowds. But I quickly stopped dead in my tracks, freezing when a cold set of, I swear they were, “red” eyes, met mine.

I blinked once and then took in the full sight before me; quickly one guy came towards me followed by 4 more. I didn't even try to run; I actually did the opposite in taking a few steps unbelievably closer, not really thinking I was seeing right.

I was off to the side out of the way of the crowds as Lucas and then Matt and a few other guys approached, fury written on all of their faces.

I knew why...

And I couldn't blame them.