It's Always a Fight Against Time

The pain disappeared as soon as it came but it didn’t go unnoticed. Swiftly and easily I was picked up by Lucas bridal style. It amazed me, you know, that he could still lift me in my pregnant form. From there, I was taken to the hospital, (despite my cursing everyone out.) I didn't want or need to go, the pain was a onetime thing…sharp but gone in a second. Still they made me, the doctors only let Lucas in with me since he was “the father” (we still didn't know that for sure though) while they checked everything out to "make sure."

I got weighed quickly after arriving in my personal "hell" (aka I hate hospitals...). Lucas proceeded to freak out on me after the nurse sighed in disappointment. I was one of those women who apparently didn't gain hardly any weight and didn't look very pregnant, at least I noticed this compared to my parole officer and all the others in the waiting room. It wasn't like I wasn't eating my family out of house and home...because I actually was... I'm ashamed to admit that. On the contrary, I only gained about 20 pounds at the most and could almost still wear all of my old clothes except for the jeans. Apparently Lucas believed I wasn't taking care of myself... I was, except for the coffee you could ask anyone that was staying with me. Ale wouldn't let me eat junk food at all except for pancakes and waffles; are those junky foods? And I took the vitamins, eat the healthy stuff, and hardly did anything strenuous...

I was admitted for tests and they figured out that it was just a false alarm or whatever; it was normal to have “contractions} before the due date. It was just when they became serious and in constant occurrence that it was bad. Something was wrong though, they weren't telling me something. If everything was alright then they wouldn't be checking on me every 10 minutes and have me hooked up to all the machines they did. Why wouldn't they tell me anything, I do have the right you know? It is my body not theirs to play with. They made me stay for observation for a reason...

That night was the scariest night ever. I woke up screaming in pain, it felt like nothing I've ever felt before. Like I was being burned and torn to pieces from the inside. The doctors didn't tell me anything, not that I really wanted to know or could stand their talking at that moment but yeah.

I had to have an emergency c-section and that's all I remember; being wheeled into the ER and passing out from the pain.

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-Lucas's pov-

We had to leave her after visitors hours were over. I walked from her room into the waiting room where Zacky and Ale were. Since the doctors said everything was “fine” and they only wanted to keep her over night, there wasn't really a need for us all to be here so we took shifts, sorta. As long as there were at least two of us we wouldn't be bored out of our minds.

We were talking about stuff with Joel, Shimmy's brother who we've been trying to figure out and find when the doctor came in.

“Are you family of Valencia Blaire?” The female doctor came in and stood in front of us. Previously smiling, my mouth turned into a frown and worry flooded through me in waves.

“Yes.” I could barely talk and it only came out as a whisper.

“Well.” She sighed and paused, thinking about whatever she was about to say. “There's been a… slight… complication. We've been keeping an eye on her... but things took a turn. She's in the ER right now.”

I couldn't think, I couldn't move, I don't even think I was breathing.

“I know this is a lot to take in but please come with me, we can talk further.” Zacky stood up but I just sat there. He grabbed my arm and made me stand. For the first time I realized I wasn't breathing; I gasped for air as we walked silently yet quickly behind her to her office. “Sit please.” I gulped but sat in the chair to the left, on the edge of the seat. My hands were shaking and my chest burned like it was on fire.

“We believe she has developed a condition referred to as HELLP Syndrome. Now with what had happened in the past, with the stress on the baby there was a greater risk of something such as this developing-”

“Are they okay?” I interrupted. She looked at me like she didn't know how to answer my question.

“Have you heard of preeclampsia?” I shook my head as did Zacky. “Well, HELLP Syndrome is a sort of variant of it. Valencia had more risks from even the beginning with her being Caucasian, a teenager and first-time mother- have you noticed her developing any headaches, having pains or shortness of breath lately? Nausea even?”

“I haven't seen her in a while.” The glum was evident in my voice. If only I had been there. She handed us each a white pamphlet but I didn't look at it. I couldn't. Zacky however flipped through it and seemed to be reading parts of it.

“HELLP Syndrome is rare; only about 0.2-0.6 % of women actually acquire it. The syndrome usually shows in the third trimester, which Valencia is in yet it usually takes about 7 days to be noticed as something being wrong. Luckily she came in when she did, but we don't know when this all started and that alone is crucial. We have decided it would be better to deliver the baby although premature, in order to decrease the risks and complications, we aren't sure the extent of seriousness as of now so things are sort of up in the air as of now.” She paused looking at me, and only me as of now. “The baby is still premature but with the Cesarean section we think that there will be better chances of both surviving, the longer the wait...” 'The closer to death they get, just say it...' I told myself.

“You both are welcome to stay in here, actually I would recommended it so I can find you easier if there is any news...I'm going to go check on things.” She got up and started to walk to the door. As she turned the knob I spoke up

“Wait.” She turned around as did I in my chair. “How long- until you'll know?” I choked on the words.

“Soon, hopefully. It may end up being days but I'm really hoping in the next hour or two if possible.” I nodded and sunk down in the chair, looking at my hands as I wrung them together.

“This makes no fucking sense.” I heard Zacky mumble, I looked over and he was reading the pamphlet. He saw me and explained “I don't know what any of these words mean, all medic shit.” He flipped open his cell phone and called someone.

I walked out of the room trying to set my mind on something else. I wandered around throughout the floor, using the bathroom and then eventually landing my place in the nursery wing. It’s just my luck really; somehow end up here out of all places. I stood against the hallway's wall, out of the way while watching inside. I watched all the babies and workers reacting, the parents and relatives looking at and holding the newborns. I found tears forming thinking about it all.

My weak spot recently was this baby and Blaire... What if something worse happens? What if I never have that chance, holding the baby... I couldn't imagine. If anything happened to either of them I don't know what I'd do.

I couldn't take it anymore, watching all of the happy people, so I went back in search of the office room. When I got there, everyone else was there as well.

I actually smiled some, she had so many people that love her and care about her, and she probably doesn't really even realize it. Her mother, her mother's fiancée and daughter were even there too. I sat on the floor against the wall listening as everyone talked. Kristopher walked over and hugged me as he sat in my lap.

“Blairwe be O.K.?” He told me, but it sounded more like a question coming from his baby slur.

“I hope so, Kris.” I whispered to myself more than him. He sat with his arms wrapped around my neck until he fell asleep. Shimmy came over and sat next to us.

“It's my fault...” I could hear his voice cracking too.

“It’s no one's fault.” I turned to him. It was true, no one was to blame. It just...happened. No one knew until it was too late, no one noticed any symptoms if there even were any. Neither Shimmy or Ale noticed any but then again they were at work too... she could have been having bad headaches, throwing up and all that, but not telling anyone. I just hope she wasn't hiding it.

The door opened and the doctor came back in, she looked startled to see all the people crammed into the small office but quickly recovered and smiled.

“Um, are... you all... family and friends of Miss Blaire?” Parades of various positive answers sounded and were shown with nods and such.

“Well good news,” She looked at me “You're a father to a beautiful baby girl; she's in intensive care to make sure everything is alright but she looks fine... You all can see her soon.” She smiled at me and us all, but I didn't smile back. Everyone talked around me but I sat quietly. If only I really knew if that was true or not. Even if she wasn't, she would be mine; I just have that feeling, how would I even explain it?

But I wasn't about to jump for joy, something still wasn't known...and I needed to know.

“What about Blaire?” I asked almost in a whisper looking at the Doctor as she quickly dropped her gaze from me. Even though it was quiet everyone heard and they all instantly became silent.

I swear you could hear a pin drop if it wasn't a carpeted floor.