It's Always a Fight Against Time

(Blaire's pov)

My eyes opened to bright lights, blinding me and making me wince. Through squinted eyes, I looked around the room holding in a groan of pain as I shifted around. Looking, there was nothing inside except for me (obviously) and medical equipment. I breathed in deeply and sighed when I noticed my much flatter stomach underneath the white sheet and blue cloth gown covering my body. Lightly I touched it and recoiled my hand from the sharp stabbing pain; hyperventilating I started to almost panic...okay so I did panic, a lot.

Wincing I moved around so that I could sit upwards before I screamed out in surprise.

The door was flung open and it hit the wall with a loud ‘bang.’

“Scare the living shit out of my why don't ya!” I spoke underneath my breath as a woman came in walking backwards while pulling a cart full of stuff.

“Your doctor will be in shortly, take this.”

“What is it?” No way in hell I'm swallowing some pill when I don't know what it is!

“Medicine...” Oh, really? I rolled my eyes at her great explanation “it's for your blood pressure... Please take it.” Fine, I grabbed the pills and put them into my mouth. I thought about not taking them, you know hiding them but this lady was staring at me like a sociopath and I wasn't about to piss her off. So, I swallowed them with a gulp of water. They left a gross taste inside my mouth.

“Hi!” Another lady came in, “How are you? How do you feel?” I shrugged, how do you think I feel lady; like shit possibly? “Would you like me to go get Lucas...?”

“What happened? Where's th-my baby?” I muttered, my God it sounded weird coming from my mouth. Strange... I really did have a baby... But is he okay?

“I'll be right back.” And with that she left. No explanation, no nothing.

“But...What?” I talked to myself since I was all alone again. Leave me hanging; just leave me here in shock and confusion. What kind of doctor is she supposed to be?! I don't think she should be one if she’s going to act this way! Did something bad happen? Why isn't she telling me, is there a reason? Don't break the bad news to the emotionally unstable girl?! Or something in the like… It’s ridiculous!

Tears came down my cheeks and I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I didn't want be here alone anymore like this.

I didn't bother to look up when the door reopened, and closed. I just laid there in the bed, my face buried in the pillow crying my heart out like a complete train wreck.

The bed sunk down a bit next to me as arms encircled my sides pulling me up into a sitting position. I latched onto the person, still not knowing who it was and cried. They held onto me too, whispering things into my ear and rocking me slightly as their hand ran through my most likely gross, greasy hair and down my back over and over again. When I had no tears left to cry I stopped and instead dry sobbed, choking and hiccupping because the air wouldn't go into my lungs like normally. I was still hyperventilating, filled with worry and sadness for a reason unknown to me at the time.

“Babe? Why are you crying?” Lucas's voice broke through and into my mind. For the first time I actually took in and understood what was said by him.

“N-no... one... w-will tell me... any-anything.” I buried my head deeper into his black t-shirted chest, my arms wrapped around his waist.

“Blaire, look at me.” He took my face in his palms and made me, but I didn't want to look into his eyes. It was too painful in a mental sense. “Everything is fine... You're okay... The baby is perfect.” I looked over and smiled some at his face; he was like… radiating happiness. He looked over and nodded before he moved so he was setting behind me, holding me up as my mother came forward. In her arms was a pink blanket all wrapped up into an (almost) tiny ball.

My mother smiled as she leaned down and handed me her, tears came again...how? I honestly don't know. She kissed my forehead as she was still lent over, I only kept looking down at the baby girl in my arms. Then my mother left.

“Meet your daughter Blaire” was whispered in my left ear; I turned and looked at Lucas and then back at the tiny child in my arms.

“She looks just like you.” I laughed some upon mentioning it to him. A shiver went down my spine as I thought about the possibility of my father-
Lucas only held onto my tighter.

“Nahhh. She has my crazy ass hair and creepy eyes but that's about it, everything else is all you...” His chin now rest on top of my left shoulder. True, the thick bunch of black hair on her head had to come from somewhere… for a newborn she had a hell of a lot of hair. Her eyes though, weren't creepy at all...they were just like Lucas's clear, bright, light sky blue ones... never before him had I seen anyone have as pale of eyes as he had. And here she was, she has the exact same ones.

“Creepy? I don't think they're creepy... The color’s beautiful...” I smiled, still looking at her as she stared back at me wide eyed, her tiny hand held onto my fingertip.

“So... what about a name?” I turned and looked at him.

“Did you name her already?” He laughed loudly,

“No I wouldn't dare...you'd kill me.” Damn right I would. “But if I had to, I... don't know...I'm not good with the whole names thing... Did you have one picked out?” I shook my head. Not really, I never wanted to know if it was a girl or boy... I had ideas, but I never got down to really thinking about it, about it. I figured I had more time... I thought I had at least another month to this, plan and shop for more things and stuff.

“Nothing tooo girly though...”

“Babe, she's a girl” Lucas’ breath tickled my neck as he spoke.

“Yeah, but I had to be mentally-scared with Valencia for my whole life so far and I don't even use it! People call me by my last name unless you are pissed at me, or my mother...she does but no one else ever calls me by my real given name!” He laughed. “I want something that could be shortened into a nickname, but then something that people would call her and use as her real name. Something other than James- not that there's anything wrong with you last name but she doesn’t need to be called James all her life because there is nothing else better. So if we name her-”

“Valencia-“

“What?” I stopped my rambling and looked over my shoulder in wonder of what he wanted and why he just called me Valencia…

“You’re rambling…”

-

After much debate we settled on a name, it was a compromise ... Lucas wanted a girlie name cause well for obvious reasons but I wanted something not too incredibly girly. In the end it was at least a name we both liked.

So now I will explain the decision of them in order, first middle and well you know the last names significance already.

Zaylie- Interesting, yes... Lucas liked Haylee, but it was a one of those ehhh I sort of like names but not really. We thought about adding different letters to the front like Baylee, Kaylee, Maylee, Raylee ect and both of us liked Zaylee so with a tad bit of editing... Zaylie was settled on after a bit of discussion.

Ashtin- the first of two middle names. It was Rain's middle name, so I thought maybe use it as Zaylie’s as sort of a remembrance thing. Sorry but I wasn't naming my daughter Rainbow. I love Rain but that...I wouldn't dare subject my daughter to such a crazy name and I know she wouldn't want someone else to be scared growing up like she had once been. Ashtin was a healthy medium and I really do love the name as well.

Elizabeth- Was all Lucas' idea, it not only is the most “girly” part of her name but it fits her. It was his mother’s name, I never knew her, knew about her even. I guess she had died a few years ago; she was on a bridge when it collapsed and she was never found after that. Lucas gave the whole story, cried even, and I knew that the name meant a lot to him and it would continue to forever. I never was going to shoot it down because it is a good idea, but after that- even if I didn't like it I would have said yes to the name for sure.

Finally is James. Which doesn't need much explanation. “You are giving her my last name right?” He turned my head towards him, I gave him one of those why would you even ask that? Sort of looks. He let go and finished “okay” I heard the huge smile in his voice”... James...” He actually asked that to me, I still don't understand why he would, why he did.

But in the end,Zaylie Ashtin-Elizabeth James was the name we came up with.

She was 2 days old and Lucas has been taking care of her in the 2 days before this... Of course with much help from my mom, the nurses and our other friends (in that order). Although, he wouldn’t actually admit to it because it would damage his pride.

I spent most of that day with Zaylie in my arms, everyone came in and talked with me, my doctor explained things and I learned a lot too. Babies are a handful but so far it doesn't seem that incredibly hard. Of course, I do have how many people around at the moment to help out. I can’t even being to think of what I would do without them, how hard it would be.

In a little under 2 years so much had already changed. So many people came into my life. To think back when I only had Ale and a few others that I was “acquaintances” with at the club, and compare it to now...it’s almost like a dream. Like it can’t be real.

But you know what they say, dreams only last for a night... Happiness only lasts so long.

-

I grabbed my stuff as we left the house and went towards the car. It had been 2 weeks since Zaylie was born and I was leaving “home.” It wasn't anything against my parents and/or Savannah, Lucas wanted to go back to LA and to be honest I missed the damn city so much, I needed to go back... So we were going now instead of later on.

Lucas came into the bedroom last night, I was feeding Zaylie a bottle at that time and he laid down on the bed with a groan and said he had to go back. Back to Los Angeles. I wasn't staying alone here.

Everyone was coming with us... I heard their murmurings and whispers, the yells even (aka Jimmy) from 2 floors below. Something was happening and no one was letting me in on the “plan;” I hated it. What could be that secretive as to not tell me. I used to be so in the loop but now I’m not told a single thing..

I have all my friends and my daughter’s father lying to me… About everything.

It made me anxious and feel really hurt.

I wasn't used to being left out of the stuff like this... Why don’t they trust me anymore? Why won’t they tell me anything?

It killed me inside; not knowing the answers.