It's Always a Fight Against Time

The next 2 weeks went by... Come and gone in a blink of an eye.

No one heard from or seen Gronk, nor had they found any clue that he was even here in LA instead of where he supposedly was “supposed” to be “hiding out.” Needless to say, I was being doubted. The day after it all happened, I told them about the backpack and all of them had been carrying around something just in case. The thing is though; it could have all been an illusion, nothing at all. It was getting to the point where I was starting to think I was imagining it was him and his gang, after all I was drunk at least a little bit at the time. Enough to stagger around in a not so straight way. But I couldn't bring myself to actually believe that. It would be for the best to believe it, we all wouldn't be laying in wait for someone to show up and confront us all somehow anyways.

We don't do anything either, well not Shimmy or I, which is sort of starting to annoy me. We usually stick at home watching Kris and Zaylie. That’s it. The house has never, ever been so clean and proper- See what disappointing sort of amusement and boredom I have? I literally am so bored I would rather clean; I want someone to dirty something so I can have something to occupy my free time, if only for a few minutes.

All the others have been coming and going as they please. Only Ale, Nich and Lucas are here regularly at night to sleep besides Shimmy and I. Otherwise I don’t know what all the others are truly up to, nor do I know what they are doing when they are almost gone from the house 24/7.

But that Sunday night, it would be a night I would never forget... It was actually one of those scarce nights that everyone was inside and at the house- much to my own dismay.

-

We all sat around the table and or island in the kitchen, eating pizza, pasta, salad and bread sticks. Zaylie was in Lucas' arms next to me on the right; sucking the milk from her bottle as one hand clung tightly to the fabric of Lucas’s shirt while the other hit the bottle repeatedly making it come out of her mouth. He would stop what he was doing and put the tip back in only to do it all over again a few seconds later. I watched on, laughing at her cute little cooing noises- She found it fun to annoy daddy and she smiled her baby smile as he shook his head at her giving her funny faces.

We all were talking about random stuff, nothing in particular.

Matt went over to the fridge with Nich and they came back with beers stacked and accumulated in their arms. They both passed them out minus me and the babies; smirking at my own misfortune. See, they wouldn't let me drink after the whole drunk episode over 2 weeks ago but at times like these, you still want to.

Jimmy was throwing tiny pieces of bread stick at Kris, who was trying to catch it in his mouth across the table; but it only ended up hitting someone else or falling to the floor. Shimmy was whispering something in his son's ear and then Kris slid off the chair, coming back with all the bitty pieces throwing them up onto the table and starting to throw them back at Jimmy, one by one, causing him to whine and use the plate as a makeshift shield. Then Kris started to aim for an unsuspecting Johnny, who blindly threw his whole piece of pizza back at the toddler in a rage. We all laughed, watching as it missed Kris and hit the wall behind him. Soon after the excitement droned down and everyone went back to talking animatedly about whatever they wished in many different conversations. Ale for example was in deep discussion with Matt, Nich, Brian and Zacky once more.

This... this is what contentment is like, a strong feeling of that indescribable emotion I hardly ever have felt before. I was a woman among the many men but it didn't bother me...this is my family. The only minus to this all was my mother, her husband (they eloped last weekend instead of waiting for a few more months for a real wedding, who really knows why) and Savannah. I've become attached to them as family as much as the guys sitting all around me have. I never thought it'd happen, but it did. We were getting closer, talking every single day sometimes more than once... she after all had been a mother to me before when I was a little kid and needed help. Things are slowly coming back, fitting like a puzzle in its place.

After dinner everyone piled into the living room to watch Finding Nemo (fyi-Kris's choice, obviously). Him and Jimmy sat 2 feet away from the big screen TV, staring wide-eyed at it and bouncing in their cross-legged position, mumbling all the words in sync. I however, debated whether to clean up now...or later. Now was probably best, since no one was in my way and they were all busy. Plus, I could deal without watching ‘Nemo’ for the twentieth time this week.

I picked up the pieces of food discarded on the floor, wiped off the stains on walls and table tops, threw out the paper plates and boxes and stuff and wiped down everything; ringing out and rinsing the washcloth multiple times. I swear no one can eat in this damned house without making messes.

“Hey, someone needs to take out the trash!” I yelled from the kitchen before in time, walking into the room and leaning on the back of one of the couches. I poked Ale on the top of the head and he turned to smile at me. I smiled right on back with a pout on my face; the puppy dog, pleading, innocent looking eyes that went along with the pout. The face that said:take out the trassshhhh? It’s your turn, go do it.

“Fine, I'll do it!” He groaned, rolling his eyes as I lunged for him and hugged him. He hugged back tightly and whispered something in my ear that I could hardly catch; he kissed my cheek and went towards the kitchen to grab the full black garbage bag. I took his place and sat there only a full 3 seconds before I jumped back up and walked over to the sleepyheads in the recliner chair in the corner. Lucas and Zaylie both were fast asleep, snoring slightly (Lucas was anyways.) I shook Lucas' shoulder and he instantly “came back to life” looking around with narrowed, blinking eyes. Wondering what was going on most likely.

“You were sleeping.” I whispered. He shook his head adding a slurred, from tiredness, “No... I wasn't.” Jimmy turned from his perch and threw a piece of popcorn at him. Lucas glared back as it hit his forehead dead on. “Yeah you were, let’s get you to bed. You both look exhausted.” I mentioned causing him to look down and ultimately nod in agreement while yawning. Hehe, I win! I lifted Zaylie out of his arms and held her close to my chest with an arm while taking Lucas’ hand and walking towards and up the stairs, him in tow.

“Don't do anything naughty!” Jimmy screamed from the living room after I got up the steps. “OW! Dammit!” Someone had to have hit him for the screaming only causing him to yell again. I heard Kris' squealed laughs in the distance with the slight squeak of the floorboards underneath our feet on the steps. “I'm just saying!” I would have a better comeback for that later- I swear I will.

I laid Zaylie down in her newly bought crib and turned to see Lucas literally crash onto the bed with a very audible groan. I covered Zay up with blankets and then rolled my eyes; Lucas laid half on, half off the bed on his stomach. As I began to leave towards the wide open door he moved so he could look at me.

“Where are you going?” He whined like a lost puppy or child that didn't want to be left alone. Like he would sort of kind of break into tears at any moment.

Holding back a laugh but smiling I replied, “To do some laundry and stuff since no one else will and everyone claims it’s my fucking job.” He started pouting as he dropped to the floor and shuffled towards me on his knees. Why he didn't just get up and walk, I have no clue. But it was true I needed to get stuff done. The past couple days have been hectic between Zay and babysitting Kristopher alone making sure he didn't “kidnap” her and hold her “hostage.” Hostage, otherwise known as getting her carrier thing and playing “hide and seek” dragging it with her inside, along the floor to the hiding place. It has happened before and only her waking up and crying allowed me to find them. Those were some pretty scary minutes. I was in tears thinking that they had been kidnapped or something-

I started to walk to the door again but Lucas grabbed my waist and turned me so he buried his head in my stomach. Then he pulled me down to the floor with him; I squealed as I held in a scream. We both collapsed in a heap on the floor with a crash. I lay on top of him and we both froze just waiting for someone to start yelling, Jimmy most likely. I heard a faint “I fucking told you they'd be- you know!” from between the floors. Lucas busted out laughing as I pushed myself off of him.

“Hey, come on stay please?” He pleaded with me shaking my head.

“No...I'll be back later on. Get sleep, she'll be waking up again sooner or later and she’ll be expecting you to feed her.” I waved before walking out and shutting the door behind me. He knew I was right…

I got as far as halfway back down the steps when a door was slammed and yelling started. I froze in my spot. Chaos ensued as Lucas suddenly wide awake, came running up behind me, pushed me to the side only slightly and yelled at me.

“Get upstairs!” Lucas screamed at me, I was frozen though. Frozen in the spot on that step; my worst nightmare was coming true. I blocked out the words that were being yelled but that didn't mean I didn't hear the loudness of the echoing sounds. From the corner of my eyes I saw Kristopher come running towards the steps, he was bawling his eyes out and I couldn't blame him, my daze was snapped. Rushing down the remaining stairs I grabbed him and began rushing back up them just as fast. It was at that point, where the first of a series of gunshots were fired. Ducking for only a second, Kris clinging to my chest and around my neck, I ran up the steps and into the bedroom towards an equally wailing, upset Zaylie.

I ran into the bathroom across the hall and put Kris into the closet.

“Stay here, I will be right back I'm going to get Zay alright?” I told him shakily as I looked at him in the eyes. He nodded so I tried to rush out, only, he likewise tried to come after me; but I told him “no.” I grabbed Zaylie and whatever blankets I could find laying around including the comforter. I ran back across the hall still hearing the yelling and screaming amongst the numerous gunshots downstairs and outside. I shut the door to the bathroom, lock it and go into the closet, locking it as well while trying and block out the sound some- but it didn't work well. My knees gave underneath my body and I collapsed next to Kris, he was still crying, his whole face and shirt seemed wet with tears. “Kris, I need you to do me a favor alright?” He nodded and whipped his eyes with his little hands. “Take Zay; hold her.” I pushed all the blankets into the small space around him and put Zaylie into his arms before wrapping some on top of her; hoping to keep them both warm enough. “I need to go get something, will you be okay here?”

“I'wol protected Zaywee.” He was distracted, he kept looking at her, and so I used that opportunity to get out of the closet and into the bathroom. I quickly looked out and ran stealth fully back into the bedroom. I whipped open the closet door and grabbed the safe that held the gun and ammunition inside. I punched in the code and it opened so I could grab them both from out of it. I loaded the gun and turned off the safety in case and rushed around looking for my purse that had my phone inside it. After retrieving it, I also grabbed a bag that was full of baby stuff including some food and snacks, toys, diapers stuff like that, just in case.

I ran back into the bathroom and carefully shut the door behind me almost so it was inaudible, locked it and after setting everything down moved the huge oak dresser that was inside against the door. I covered the widow with the curtain and shut off the lights so only the nightlight shone; it would have to be bright enough.

I sat on the sink's counter, my eyes staring at the door knob while I called the police who wouldn’t even believe my plea’s at first. A few minutes’ later sirens sounded around the house amongst the shooting and yelling- the crying out and screaming as well. Blue and red lights flashed through the thin curtain against the bathroom walls while the police kept talking on loudspeaker. I couldn’t make it out but it couldn’t be good.

It kept going on though; I had to have sat in that room for an hour. Nothing happened, it didn't stop. I was growing more and more worried and anxious. Luckily the crying stopped as I went to the closet and held both Kris and Zaylie in my arms. Both were sleeping through it all, exhausted. I couldn't think, I couldn’t process anything, I couldn't even cry I was so numb in shock. It was like experiencing a kick to the gut increasing in force consistently, I was hyperventilating with a lack of air.

I felt like a failure…

Here I was, hiding out in a bathroom closet while everything is going on around me. It’s all my fault this happened and now I’m worried something bad happened because it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that something is wrong right about now-