It's Always a Fight Against Time

I felt the poking and the prodding.

…Heard the bustle of people rushing around me and the faint echoing sounds of people talking in strange, almost alien-like voices. This would be one of those moments that people could look back on and say, 'I think I was kidnapped by aliens.' It isn't true, but there is something behind the scenes going on...something important and much scarier than “aliens” kidnapping and studying a person. There absolutely had to be. I wasn’t insane. I’m not insane… Am I?

I remember there were a long few minutes where I just watched Lucas; I couldn't do anything else and although my eyes were drooping closed constantly I really didn't want to let them seal shut and leave me in the darkness. The darkness was a scary place to be…

But watching him, and his strange sense of concern for me, kept my mind off of the dangerous situation entirely. It also made me understand that I wasn't dead yet.

As long as his face stayed in my brain, if I kept seeing him, I was alive and awake. It was when his face disappears, is when I would have to start worrying. But that hopeful prospect didn't last forever.

The next things I remember were what sounded like sirens wailing; and I couldn't fight anymore. I went off into the darkness of my abyss like inner self without any attempt at staying “with it.”

That was the last thing I remember, well in reality it was actually a strange sound that I really have no words to describe it, so for that reason we're going with the first thing mentioned.

Lucas. My last memory…

Which brings us to the alien theory. Yes its strange but hear me out here.

I am for sure inside myself, I can hear and feel things... but I can’t see them.. I want to scream, but I can only hear those screams in my mind, nowhere else. I’m without speaking abilities. I feel a tickling sensation rubbing on my hand, but I can’t yell or even say 'stop' or laugh when it really, tickles.

The “aliens” talking isn't made out clearly, like it’s in a different language; but you want to know something? I know where I am, in the hospital. I know there are no such things as aliens and that the people around aren't aliens at all, but still...why the fuck do I keep calling them that?!

Lets just say peoples; I know damn well that I am inside myself...that sounds strange. I am though I can feel it and hear! Why the hell can’t I wake up? I'm trying so hard. My body just hurts everywhere...

What are they talking about? Probably me most likely, but what about me?

I know I'm not okay but how bad is it?

I can’t remember a lot... But people’s faces keep coming to my mind. Some of them are fuzzy; most of them however are haunting reminders of the dead. Then there are those select few that I care to keep in focus for longer than that ‘split blink of an eye’ so to speak, not that I could blink at this very moment anyways.

Feeling something heavy weight down on my shoulder and the faint sound of a voice brought me from my thoughts of my memories of random people.

Through that all, only one person stuck in my mind, the one person that I thought I could trust but then he stabbed me in the back. The one person I should have been able to trust but he deserted me...And not too long ago remorsefully tried to kill me off. His face wouldn’t go away, the sadistic grin that I’ve never seen on his face ever before-

My eyes flew open to the blindingly bright light and I jumped (or rather flinched,) shooting upwards in the uncomfortable bed, gasping for breath and holding onto the gown that covered my rapidly beating heart. In any other situation you would think I was previously drowning in how I gasped for the air greedily, but not now. Pain encompassed my body instantly, and my mind continued to reel with the face of my attacker. I clutched more harshly at my front body, the apparent feel of stitches pulling against my skin… And screamed bloody murder. The pain was bearable I have been through much, much worse although it was the haunting images that threatened to send me into a fit of insanity.

“Blaire, lay down!” I was scolded from my side and for the first time I noticed I wasn't alone in the room. It was Lucas. Still breathing hard, I sighed a small breath of relief and gingerly laid back into the pillows. My eyes were wide still with fear as my body pulsed, literally from the fright.

He leaned forward, smiling before kissing my forehead and softly hugging me. As I wrapped my arms under his and let them rest on his back he whispered in my ear. “I'm never going to let you the fuck alone, never ever again.” I felt a wet drop hit the thin sliver of bare skin that was my shoulder, the gown was dropping slightly. I calmed some, breathing in his scent thinking that I was safe now.

Lucas pulled away then but continued to sit on the bed facing me, holding onto one of my hands while his other glided over and around, back and forth through one of the curls in my long strands of hair.

There was something wrong. I could tell by the way his eyes never met mine; they just stayed focused on anything but my face.

After a long pause of peaceful silence he broke it. “The baby’s okay...” He looked up briefly.

“The fetus is really...” He gulped sharply “...fragile, even more so than before... You aren't going to be able to do much for a while and... And they want to monitor it. There is about an 80% chance you-“he sighed and looked briefly into my eyes before whispering the rest so I could barely hear. “They say-they say that you could lose it in the next 2 or so weeks. And after that there's a pretty high chance that there will be complications because they can’t tell if anything is severely wrong or not, now. But the doctor said it's a miracle, tests even prove it’s healthy... so that’s good, huh?” He looked up at me and smiled as a tear streamed down his left cheek. I nodded solemnly. Truth be told I forgot all about it these few moments, I can’t believe that I did.

“They don't know how exactly it worked out. But none of the wounds damaged anything major internally, they were all in places that could easily be fixed… which was… weird. You lost blood but none of the wounds were fatal...” I was shocked, scared, confused, amazed, happy, sad...all the same time. My emotions were everywhere. Part of my wanted to cry; the other jump out of bed and run around like a crazy woman; I wanted to hug and kiss Lucas, don't know where that came from to be honest, while I also wanted to push him away and pretend this all never happened and tell myself it was all fake. Forget and start over.

How is the baby okay? How can it be?

I had this feeling, this instinct almost, that made me depressed. Sure, I found out I was pregnant and I really didn't want to be but over the past hours before the stabbing incident and even after I decided that it just wouldn't be right to get rid of it. - If I were to lose this baby because of myself, a fight or because of him out of all the fucking people… I would never forgive myself. I would hate myself forever, I guarantee it.

What are the chances, this all happening like this? I still had this bad feeling, like something wasn't right but the doctor apparently said it was fine...or as fine as it could be that is. So why am I feeling scared all of a sudden?

“Do you know who did this to-?” The door opened and in came the last person on the face of the earth that I wanted to see right now. I started screaming insanely, thrashing around and trying to get out of the bed, away from him.

“Get away from me!” I kept screaming as Lucas looked from me to him, him to me, over and over again. He tried calming me down but I continued to throw a total fit. Why was he here? How could he seriously come here after what he did to me, he was the reason I was in this place, in this situation and he decided to just show up and pretend nothing happened?

“Blaire, stop, STOP! You're going to hurt yourself and the baby, just settle down...Just please Stop!” Lucas kept talking on and one more trying to get me to stop. “Stop it! Babe come on!” He pleaded. This went on for at least 5 minutes before Lucas seemed to get rather annoyed.

“GET HIM OUT! GET THE POLICE!” I screamed louder, thrashing my arms because they were all I could move right now with Lucas holding me down.

“Shimmy just get the fuck out!” Lucas screamed at him.

Shimmy...

I broke down sobbing after he disappeared out of the room and around the corner out of view, my breathing was heavy, my heart was racing and my mind went spinning making me dizzy. I held onto Lucas for dear life and I think it was then that things clicked in his mind.

He just witnessed and got the answer to his own question...