Sequel: Just Like His Father ›
It's Always a Fight Against Time
I Know Things Are Looking Up, But Soon They'll Take Us Down
“Valencia, please. Tell me what the fuck that was all about! Why do you keep blaming him?!” Lucas yelled at me as I still lay in the hospital bed. I had been laying here listening to his questions since I had woken up hours earlier and in his words, “threw a complete and total fucking bitch fit.” I had previously been ignoring him but I couldn’t any longer, he was starting to really get on my nerves.
“GET THE FUCK OUT!” I screamed at Lucas, pointing an accusing arm up at him despite the pinching and the pulling of the needles from the IV’s buried deep within my arm. The doctor hearing the commotion came in and forcefully removed him without him speaking another word to me. I could tell Lucas wanted to fight back, hell I knew he could take the doctor on and win without so much of a bit of effort; but at the same time I believe he didn't want to get kicked out of the entire hospital either. He may have been escorted from the room, however he’ll be back. I know he will, it was just a matter of time.
He doesn't believe me, Lucas…
He practically laughed when I told him Shimmy was the one who attacked me -if you could even call it being ‘attacked’. It was more like an ambush instead. Attempted murder.
Lucas even said that he thinks I'm high on pain killers, but you know what? I'm not. I haven't gotten any dosage since I've woken up and the pain is raking, searing like fire throughout my body. I am not high by any means. It’s completely ridiculous think so. He doesn't believe me. How's that for a vote of confidence?
Next the police will laugh at me; I can just see it now.
Is it really that hard to understand? Okay so maybe it is…
Shimmy never had done anything... Though there was that time with the convenient store... I still don't have a clue as to how he got out of those charges.
I was alone in the white, bleach-like smelling room re-living all the times I've had with Shimmy.
From day 1- when I saw him in Pelican Bay as he was fighting this guy who was a member of an opposing gang; he was losing at the time, but then it was all broken up. He was brought into isolation like me, and we met through a chain linked and barbed wired fence in between our own individual 20 by 8 foot “recreational” space. We didn't have to go out into that small space, in fact I usually didn't. I mean come on, what’s the sense? You get 45 minutes by the time you get out there and then you do nothing, just sit or stand in the tiny bit of dirt and small random patches of grass that covered the small space. It really was a waste of time. Not that there was anything better to do...
-------------
Flashback
He made me go out, he as in my own personal police-security guy. Evidently for some reason I was considered a high threat; I wouldn't ever understand why... I never went out, so why did I have to now? If I was such a threat and burden, why even bother trying to get me out and bother with the transition, you know? All they are doing is wasting their own time really.
He threw me inside the small enclosed area, my arms just barely catching my fall. I was handcuffed so it was harder to break the fall but I really didn't mind anymore. You get used to always being in the damned things. 'I really could care less if I were to get hurt, or killed for that matter.' I thought to myself.
“Hey. You alright?” A voice said from somewhere. I looked around frantically, scared. It wasn't anything new in my life here in the Bay, being scared that is.
A chuckle came from my left; I looked over as I pushed myself up in order to set on my knees and the heels of my feet. A figure of a guy with shaggy brown hair and an orange jumpsuit came out of the shadow of the building's over-hang. 'So he just came from general population, huh?' I considered. See here, in isolation they put you in a white shirt and black pants. I never thought it smart; if any of us were to escape we would blend in...Yet then again there was no way we possibly could get away in one piece anyways. They don't need to see you, they just catch you; and it was extremely easily with the wide open terrain all around, choking us off from real civilization. (The rest of the buildings where the guards would appear from were more towards the edges and we'd somehow need to get through them to escape too, then there was the huge ass-fucking electric barbed wire fence...)
“I'm fine.” I stated in my “tough” voice; one thing you learn is to never show fear...even if you were shaking like a leaf inside. My voice cracked slightly, I don't know the last time I have spoken more than 'yes' or 'no' to anyone. I only do so whenever I'm told to; when I have to respond with more than a shake or nod of my head. Otherwise I stayed completely silent, mute.
“Surrreeee you are babe.” He drawled as he came closer to the fence. Taking a better look at him I quickly recognized him from the fight I briefly saw earlier. Now the guy was touching the fence, his fingers curled around the thick, cool metal wires. “I'm Shimmy.” He nodded for an unknown reason and proceeded to wait for me to say something- but I never did.
I stayed on the ground, looking down at my hands. Absentmindedly I picked one of the few blades of grass around me and ran it through my fingers.
“Hey!” I looked up quickly to see his concerned face. “How old are you?”
“17” I whispered. I don't even know why I'm talking to him in the first place.
“Just a fucking kid.” He muttered with a growl, sighing. “You'll be okay, you'll get through it... and then you will get out and everything will go back to normal...” He said a huge smile on his face, chuckling some after he broke off talking. I shook my head and watched his face drop as he also dropped so his body to sit cross legged. His knees touched the wired fence and he suddenly seemed closer to me in that moment. Now, he was at my level.
“I may never get out... I may be in here for life and then some...” I whispered to myself more so than as an answer to him. I never quite understood the 2 life sentences or the 100+ year sentence. A person only lives to about 100, so why bother giving those 200 years? Also, 2 life sentences? Really? You only fucking live once, not twice! What does that sentence do for anyone; does it really make it “better” for the plaintiff party? Why shove it in a person’s face? Just give criminals a sentence to stay in prison until death without a chance at parole; it just seems more logical, doesn't it? By giving those long kinds of sentences, a judge is accomplishing nothing in a way.
“What the fuck did you do?” Shimmy demanded. I shrugged and looked back down at the blade of grass in my hands. Where would you want me to start? Hell, besides that I am not telling a complete stranger my whole life's history... No fucking way. “What's your name?”
“Valencia Blaire, but almost everyone calls me Blaire.” I looked up underneath my eyelashes to see his smiling face again, before I ended up blushing and dropping my gaze quickly when I saw him watching me intently.
The rest of the few minutes I had for “recreational purposes,” I listened to him talk. He just told me stories about his time here in the Bay, as well as some of the stupid shit he's done in his life. He tried to get me to cheer up…
It didn't work.
-------------
Shimmy was like a savior, he had been like the light in the darkness so to speak. He didn't cheer me up but he was always there for me; protected me in a way from the gang when I was in general population; covered for me when I screwed up; taught me some stuff in regards to the gang's activities, one in particular being able to tell if a person is hiding a shank. He saved my life once with that information when some guy form a rival gang tried to attack me. Before he pulled out the handmade weapon I grabbed it out of his pants and used it against him instead of me. I had been out of isolation for about a day before that happened, and that night I went straight back to the black abyss of the padded, lonely room.
We had good times, Shimmy and I, or at least as good of times as we could. Never did we talk about our personal lives or why we were in the Bay though, which was perfectly fine with me, I’d rather we wouldn’t anyways. That kind of stuff was the last things on our mind; survival sort of ultimately took over. Kind of like a 'What can I do to be able to wake up tomorrow morning alive?' sort of mentality.
But still, Shimmy used me...
He abandoned me after all this without a second thought. How will I ever, ever be able to see him again? What do I do?
In a way I hate him for what he did to me however at the same time part of me will always be grateful for all he's done for me over the past months.
I decided then to call the one constant in my life... Ale. Gingerly I began my mission of getting out of the bed first by pulling out the 2 IV's hastily, hissing some in the quick sudden process. I then pulled my legs to my right and let them dangle over the side before sliding slowly off the side. My feet met the freezing floor and I limped over to the phone that hung on the wall some 8-10 feet away. Using the walls and other select objects for support I got there slowly but surely. Dialing his number I fought my buckling knees to keep upright, the dial tone went straight to a voice mail it didn't even ring. I hung up, saddened some... I needed him... I had to talk to him.
Then I tried Matt. My second “constant”...
--------------
-Matt's Pov-
I woke up from a restless sleep with the vibrating of my phone in my pocket. I rubbed my eyes; feeling even more tired than I had before I attempted to sleep a bit, and pulled it out. It was an unknown number but I answered it anyways.
“Hello?” I winced at hearing the fatigue in my own voice.
“Matt?” Blaire's soft, wavering voice came through. I sat up straight, feeling suddenly awake.
“Babe, were are you? Why weren't you answering your phone; I've been trying like crazy to get a hold of you?” I whispered hoping no one would notice I was on the phone, luckily everyone seemed way too concerned towards their own issues that no one did.
“I'm… sorry...” I could hear her choking on her words and the silent sobs already coming from her mouth. I knew she had no clue about Ale or Rain and I knew telling her would break her heart even more than it already looked like it was. So I decided to wait out on telling her and instead focus on why she was upset to begin with.
“What's wrong Blaire?” I cooed. There was a long pause but I then made out the faint sound of sirens, beeping and moving around. It reminded me of somewhere, but where?
“Matt...If I tell you something will you promise not to yell? And believe me?” I nodded but of course she wouldn't see. I mentally slapped myself before voicing that I agreed to not yell and to believe her.
“Yeah, I promise babe. What’s up?” She gulped, making me more nervous.
“I'm pregnant...” those two words made my world crash in around me a moment. Either Lucas or her father... was the father. Neither were ideal both were complete fuckers- “And there's more...” What the hell more could there possibly be? I wanted to scream at someone but I didn't, I refrained myself.
“Where are you?” came out of my mouth; I wanted her to get on a plane to come here to New York City like, now. There obviously were more reasons than just her pregnancy… Ale and Rain being a huge part of that ‘want’ for her to be her by my side as well. I missed her; she was broken and I wanted to somehow make everything better for her. If she would let me.
“In the hospital...” I felt like right then and there in the middle of the waiting room, I was hit and ran over by a train. Thousands of times…over and over again… until there was absolutely none of me left but bits and pieces, scattered and broken.
I am going to kill Lucas, that fucker for everything he has done to her!
“GET THE FUCK OUT!” I screamed at Lucas, pointing an accusing arm up at him despite the pinching and the pulling of the needles from the IV’s buried deep within my arm. The doctor hearing the commotion came in and forcefully removed him without him speaking another word to me. I could tell Lucas wanted to fight back, hell I knew he could take the doctor on and win without so much of a bit of effort; but at the same time I believe he didn't want to get kicked out of the entire hospital either. He may have been escorted from the room, however he’ll be back. I know he will, it was just a matter of time.
He doesn't believe me, Lucas…
He practically laughed when I told him Shimmy was the one who attacked me -if you could even call it being ‘attacked’. It was more like an ambush instead. Attempted murder.
Lucas even said that he thinks I'm high on pain killers, but you know what? I'm not. I haven't gotten any dosage since I've woken up and the pain is raking, searing like fire throughout my body. I am not high by any means. It’s completely ridiculous think so. He doesn't believe me. How's that for a vote of confidence?
Next the police will laugh at me; I can just see it now.
Is it really that hard to understand? Okay so maybe it is…
Shimmy never had done anything... Though there was that time with the convenient store... I still don't have a clue as to how he got out of those charges.
I was alone in the white, bleach-like smelling room re-living all the times I've had with Shimmy.
From day 1- when I saw him in Pelican Bay as he was fighting this guy who was a member of an opposing gang; he was losing at the time, but then it was all broken up. He was brought into isolation like me, and we met through a chain linked and barbed wired fence in between our own individual 20 by 8 foot “recreational” space. We didn't have to go out into that small space, in fact I usually didn't. I mean come on, what’s the sense? You get 45 minutes by the time you get out there and then you do nothing, just sit or stand in the tiny bit of dirt and small random patches of grass that covered the small space. It really was a waste of time. Not that there was anything better to do...
-------------
Flashback
He made me go out, he as in my own personal police-security guy. Evidently for some reason I was considered a high threat; I wouldn't ever understand why... I never went out, so why did I have to now? If I was such a threat and burden, why even bother trying to get me out and bother with the transition, you know? All they are doing is wasting their own time really.
He threw me inside the small enclosed area, my arms just barely catching my fall. I was handcuffed so it was harder to break the fall but I really didn't mind anymore. You get used to always being in the damned things. 'I really could care less if I were to get hurt, or killed for that matter.' I thought to myself.
“Hey. You alright?” A voice said from somewhere. I looked around frantically, scared. It wasn't anything new in my life here in the Bay, being scared that is.
A chuckle came from my left; I looked over as I pushed myself up in order to set on my knees and the heels of my feet. A figure of a guy with shaggy brown hair and an orange jumpsuit came out of the shadow of the building's over-hang. 'So he just came from general population, huh?' I considered. See here, in isolation they put you in a white shirt and black pants. I never thought it smart; if any of us were to escape we would blend in...Yet then again there was no way we possibly could get away in one piece anyways. They don't need to see you, they just catch you; and it was extremely easily with the wide open terrain all around, choking us off from real civilization. (The rest of the buildings where the guards would appear from were more towards the edges and we'd somehow need to get through them to escape too, then there was the huge ass-fucking electric barbed wire fence...)
“I'm fine.” I stated in my “tough” voice; one thing you learn is to never show fear...even if you were shaking like a leaf inside. My voice cracked slightly, I don't know the last time I have spoken more than 'yes' or 'no' to anyone. I only do so whenever I'm told to; when I have to respond with more than a shake or nod of my head. Otherwise I stayed completely silent, mute.
“Surrreeee you are babe.” He drawled as he came closer to the fence. Taking a better look at him I quickly recognized him from the fight I briefly saw earlier. Now the guy was touching the fence, his fingers curled around the thick, cool metal wires. “I'm Shimmy.” He nodded for an unknown reason and proceeded to wait for me to say something- but I never did.
I stayed on the ground, looking down at my hands. Absentmindedly I picked one of the few blades of grass around me and ran it through my fingers.
“Hey!” I looked up quickly to see his concerned face. “How old are you?”
“17” I whispered. I don't even know why I'm talking to him in the first place.
“Just a fucking kid.” He muttered with a growl, sighing. “You'll be okay, you'll get through it... and then you will get out and everything will go back to normal...” He said a huge smile on his face, chuckling some after he broke off talking. I shook my head and watched his face drop as he also dropped so his body to sit cross legged. His knees touched the wired fence and he suddenly seemed closer to me in that moment. Now, he was at my level.
“I may never get out... I may be in here for life and then some...” I whispered to myself more so than as an answer to him. I never quite understood the 2 life sentences or the 100+ year sentence. A person only lives to about 100, so why bother giving those 200 years? Also, 2 life sentences? Really? You only fucking live once, not twice! What does that sentence do for anyone; does it really make it “better” for the plaintiff party? Why shove it in a person’s face? Just give criminals a sentence to stay in prison until death without a chance at parole; it just seems more logical, doesn't it? By giving those long kinds of sentences, a judge is accomplishing nothing in a way.
“What the fuck did you do?” Shimmy demanded. I shrugged and looked back down at the blade of grass in my hands. Where would you want me to start? Hell, besides that I am not telling a complete stranger my whole life's history... No fucking way. “What's your name?”
“Valencia Blaire, but almost everyone calls me Blaire.” I looked up underneath my eyelashes to see his smiling face again, before I ended up blushing and dropping my gaze quickly when I saw him watching me intently.
The rest of the few minutes I had for “recreational purposes,” I listened to him talk. He just told me stories about his time here in the Bay, as well as some of the stupid shit he's done in his life. He tried to get me to cheer up…
It didn't work.
-------------
Shimmy was like a savior, he had been like the light in the darkness so to speak. He didn't cheer me up but he was always there for me; protected me in a way from the gang when I was in general population; covered for me when I screwed up; taught me some stuff in regards to the gang's activities, one in particular being able to tell if a person is hiding a shank. He saved my life once with that information when some guy form a rival gang tried to attack me. Before he pulled out the handmade weapon I grabbed it out of his pants and used it against him instead of me. I had been out of isolation for about a day before that happened, and that night I went straight back to the black abyss of the padded, lonely room.
We had good times, Shimmy and I, or at least as good of times as we could. Never did we talk about our personal lives or why we were in the Bay though, which was perfectly fine with me, I’d rather we wouldn’t anyways. That kind of stuff was the last things on our mind; survival sort of ultimately took over. Kind of like a 'What can I do to be able to wake up tomorrow morning alive?' sort of mentality.
But still, Shimmy used me...
He abandoned me after all this without a second thought. How will I ever, ever be able to see him again? What do I do?
In a way I hate him for what he did to me however at the same time part of me will always be grateful for all he's done for me over the past months.
I decided then to call the one constant in my life... Ale. Gingerly I began my mission of getting out of the bed first by pulling out the 2 IV's hastily, hissing some in the quick sudden process. I then pulled my legs to my right and let them dangle over the side before sliding slowly off the side. My feet met the freezing floor and I limped over to the phone that hung on the wall some 8-10 feet away. Using the walls and other select objects for support I got there slowly but surely. Dialing his number I fought my buckling knees to keep upright, the dial tone went straight to a voice mail it didn't even ring. I hung up, saddened some... I needed him... I had to talk to him.
Then I tried Matt. My second “constant”...
--------------
-Matt's Pov-
I woke up from a restless sleep with the vibrating of my phone in my pocket. I rubbed my eyes; feeling even more tired than I had before I attempted to sleep a bit, and pulled it out. It was an unknown number but I answered it anyways.
“Hello?” I winced at hearing the fatigue in my own voice.
“Matt?” Blaire's soft, wavering voice came through. I sat up straight, feeling suddenly awake.
“Babe, were are you? Why weren't you answering your phone; I've been trying like crazy to get a hold of you?” I whispered hoping no one would notice I was on the phone, luckily everyone seemed way too concerned towards their own issues that no one did.
“I'm… sorry...” I could hear her choking on her words and the silent sobs already coming from her mouth. I knew she had no clue about Ale or Rain and I knew telling her would break her heart even more than it already looked like it was. So I decided to wait out on telling her and instead focus on why she was upset to begin with.
“What's wrong Blaire?” I cooed. There was a long pause but I then made out the faint sound of sirens, beeping and moving around. It reminded me of somewhere, but where?
“Matt...If I tell you something will you promise not to yell? And believe me?” I nodded but of course she wouldn't see. I mentally slapped myself before voicing that I agreed to not yell and to believe her.
“Yeah, I promise babe. What’s up?” She gulped, making me more nervous.
“I'm pregnant...” those two words made my world crash in around me a moment. Either Lucas or her father... was the father. Neither were ideal both were complete fuckers- “And there's more...” What the hell more could there possibly be? I wanted to scream at someone but I didn't, I refrained myself.
“Where are you?” came out of my mouth; I wanted her to get on a plane to come here to New York City like, now. There obviously were more reasons than just her pregnancy… Ale and Rain being a huge part of that ‘want’ for her to be her by my side as well. I missed her; she was broken and I wanted to somehow make everything better for her. If she would let me.
“In the hospital...” I felt like right then and there in the middle of the waiting room, I was hit and ran over by a train. Thousands of times…over and over again… until there was absolutely none of me left but bits and pieces, scattered and broken.
I am going to kill Lucas, that fucker for everything he has done to her!