It's Always a Fight Against Time

I sat in Lucas' lap, my head resting on his left shoulder, my forehead against his neck, his arms around me as my legs were bent at the knees with my feet resting on the chair next to his right... I was numb. Entirely, completely… numb.

I just went through the motions. I sat quietly as Lucas went to get tickets, stood when he pulled me up, let him make me sit on his lap afterwards. There were no words for what and how I was really feeling right at this very moment. If Lucas wasn't there I would have most likely hurt myself trying to get to New York City the fastest way possible; doing something I physically shouldn't have. I just keep thinking about him... What's happening with Ale? Is he okay, is he going to live? How bad are his injuries?

And most of all: Now what are we going to fucking do?

The plane didn't leave for another 3 hours. In that time nothing major happened. I went to the bathroom and stayed in there just staring at myself in the handicapped stalls, mirror. I even went as far as peeling off the bandages on my body to assess the damage, all before that point was hidden away from my view. I didn’t know the extent, only what it felt like. After looking, it seemed to start hurting a thousand times worse, all the cuts and stitches... But it’s most likely all in my mind. Knowing what they were, seeing how terrible the jagged cuts looked- Now that's all I feel.

I could feel how tense Lucas was, that and tell that he was...he kept moving his head so he could look at my face. We didn't meet each other’s eyes but I knew what he was doing. Making sure I was still alive, with him … even if I wasn’t all together there at the moment.

Noticing the chains in front of my eyes, the chains around his neck I looped a finger underneath the cool metal and pulled the chains out from under his shirt. I felt him tense slightly at the touch while he looked at me wondering what I was doing. Well. He usually only had a gold chain necklace on, he never wore dog tags like I always did; only some times... wait. I pulled harder and the entire of the necklaces clanged out. I narrowed my eyes as I lifted the silver tags. The one had my name on it, the other with the brass knuckle picture. In the engravings there was dried blood... my blood. I shook with shivers.

“When'd you steal these?” I whispered into his ear, dropping them from my fingers when he made a move to grab them and pull them up and off from around his head.

“So they wouldn't get found by the police...” That's all he said (into my ear so only I could hear) as he put the long ball-chain around my head. I thought I lost them to be honest, that I left them at the apartment and that the police found them; something along those lines. I figured either way I would be sent back to jail sooner or later… Might as well be by them finding the tags, you know? I've been going over that scenario for a while in my mind, when you are in a hospital bed with people asking you stupid questions you ignore them; and as they are prodding you, you start to wonder things. Your mind goes off into thinking about things such as these.

“Thank you.” I responded with tilting my neck back, pecking him quickly and softly on the jaw. It was one of those spontaneous things that are done without thinking it out first. But I could tell it drove him crazy as he froze a moment and shifted nervously underneath my body. It was only a feather-light type of kiss, one that was a mixture between tease and shyness... or in my case spontaneity and solemn-ness. It was sweet and gentle, something you would least expect from someone like me and I'll admit it... I think I may have even shocked myself by doing such a thing.

Hours later we arrived in New York City, I called Matt right before we got on the plane because I remembered he was picking “us” up. Though he didn't know the us part yet... I didn't mention Lucas was coming for a reason. Both of them hate each other; my God I feel stuck in the middle between the bipolar one aka Lucas and the guy who changed my life entirely aka Matt. That change wasn’t for better or worse, but he had always been there no matter how pissed I actually was at him. I'm sure that what was about to go downhill pretty fast, he was going to be... furious (for lack of a better word.) I can just see Matt's reaction. See the verbal abuse and cursing back and forth between each other too; welcome to hell. Oh but then there is also the fighting... that's a possibility as well. And everyone knows right now I can’t deal with that shit; there is no way I could break it up if they decided to go rip each other’s heads off. Me, injured in the first place trying to intervene as two stubborn lunatics go at it...literally. I can see it now, the punching and pounding each other to pieces... I’m fucking insane Send me to the damn psych ward! I am definitely starting to regret my decision. I should have waited, snuck out of the hospital and blah, blah, blah but noooooo. See luck is NOT on my side (and neither is strategy I suppose.)

“Please just stay here, let me talk to him alone first okay?” Lucas let go of my hand and nodded to my plea. I then wincingly walked towards where Matt said he would be waiting to pick “me” up. Crossing my arms and bringing my jacket tightly around my body I noticed how cold it was walking outside, it was freezing.

“Hey.” Matt said as he came walking quickly towards me with Zacky not too far back behind him. Matt stopped only about a foot in front of me and reached out for a hug, hugging me only for a second and very, very lightly- almost not touching me at all- out of habit. I’m always sort of conveniently broken to pieces around them... And you wonder why?

“Hi.” I forced a brief smile to my face but it was fake. Matt however smiled for real and Zacky just seemed anxious and uncomfortable standing there a few feet away.

“Hi Zacky” I whispered and he looked at me for the first time but only for a split second, a glance. A part of me felt like I was being shunned or something like that, but then I remembered he was getting married. And well there is no denying that we sort of have that strange, flirty past. Awkward is an understatement. I even felt a bit uncomfortable remembering the things I did with him, and that was only making out-

“Hey...” Was all he said before I let out a deep breath and went on to explain calmly about what happened in as little words as possible. I finish with-

“...Lucas came with me...”

In not even 0.000000001 seconds their demeanors changed, 180 degrees. Zacky seemed surprised and Matt just fumed, becoming redder and redder as his breath was held and his fists clenched at his sides. He was plain fucking pissed. He pushed past me, going in a half circle around me before stomping straight into the airport. I didn't have the energy or ability to run after and stop him; I couldn't even if I did have that energy somehow. Zacky put an arm lazily around my shoulder and lead me in the opposite direction towards the parking lot.

“Where are you-?” I demanded yet was shut up when keys were forced in my hand. He then pointed to the B way up high on a pole.

“Don't worry, just go get the car and meet us here okay? I’ll take care of them...it’s in there, in that row” he pointed “the green Chevy Malibu.” He then let go of me, leaving me alone in the middle of the concrete sidewalk facing the “B” section while he went back towards the airport. Um okay...Chevy Malibu.... Chevy… Malibu… Shit, I knew nothing about cars besides the colors…

“Wait! Which one?!” I screamed yelled to his retreating body. He turned and walked backwards pointing...TO WHAT!?!?! Like I know what a frickin’ “Chevy Malibu” looks like?

“The green one!” He yelled back laughing. Well that really narrows it down. There is a possibility of 4 green cars… oh hell with it. I hit the panic button and went towards the sound and flashing headlights not caring about the people around me or how long it was going off as I made the long walk. I certainly found out what the car looked like- the color reminds me of a leprechaun…

After easing myself into the front seat I turned on the car and backed out of the parking space to go up to the front gate through the maze of cars and rows. Just sitting there, listening to music in the background, my mind went crazy... What the fuck are they doing inside?

I jumped when someone opened the back driver's side door.

“Scare ya?” Zacky laughed. Glad he was making fun of me now; it’s either that or the silence treatment now-a-days, huh? I rolled my eyes and listened to him as he went on. “Well, they sorted out their... jealousies.” I turned as much as I was able to in the seat and looked at him with a raised eyebrow, glaring ever so slightly as well “What, they punched each other around a few times and now they are” he gave the finger quotations as he finished “”talking”...” I groaned and turned back around to look out of the clear glass windshield. Great...

Ten minutes later I apparently fell asleep because I was being picked up and woken from a dream I was having. My eyes opened narrowly and Matt's face was above mine, it was bloodied some but he seemed okay. He put me down, handing me off basically, into the back seat and shut the door. I blinked a few times and flinched when one of the cuts on my side was touched uncomfortably. Lucas looked much like Matt had when I saw him; bloodied and bruised just it wasn't as noticeable really with all the much longer hair Lucas had covering his face. After that I was unconscious to the world, deep in slumber, held securely in place by Lucas as Matt drove towards the hospital.

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-Fast forward-

I woke up again to beeping, a steady beep with about 5 seconds in between the annoying sounds. Every 10 seconds there was the sound of almost ‘humming’ where something was being dispensed or released. I lifted my arms only to feel the pull of my skin and realize I was admitted into the damn hospital again. Fuck... IV's came from my arms, various thinks pumping into my body. That dispensing thing was medicine of some sort, hooked into a needle buried in my hand (OW). I'm not sure if I really want to know what they are per say. And sticky pad things are connected on my upper chest right under my collar bones.

Crinkling my nose in disgust I looked around; for once the room wasn't florescent lit in white and well... it wasn’t all white. It was a royal blue color with a designed sort of swirling wallpaper. It was dark, except for the soft light of the hallway and the glow of the moon outside the open curtained window. How long have I been sleeping?

Blinking to get my eyes used to the light a nurse came in, not bothering to turn on the lights... I gulped, my throat hoarse and dry from lack of fluid going down it.

“Great, you are awake. Should I get something for you? Maybe something to eat?” I'm dreaming right? Please tell me I am because none of this seems real in any way.

“Water?” She handed me a glass after pouring it and I drank it slowly still in awe and wonder.

“I'm going to go get your doctor and fiancée I'll be right back sweetheart.” My eyes I swore bugged out of my head...

Fiancée?!

Oh no, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!

Aww shit.

“Hello Valencia, how are you feeling?” The doctor asked as she came inside and turned on a lap in the corner of the room. I recognized her instantly as Doctor Turner. I smiled at her in one of those, 'oh shit I broke my arm again 3 days after I got the cast off' sort of ways. The look on her face was one of ' I didn't want to see you in here...again.' Sorry. Not my fault, again. Like I wanted to almost die in a fucking fire!

“Okay I guess.”

“You know, I would say it’s good to see you under any other circumstances...” She fiddled with a few buttons and knobs as she looked down at the file board in her hands “... but...” She looked up at me “This isn't a particularly good circumstance sweetheart...” She smiled some as I rolled my eyes thinking 'sure,' and 'possibly maybe I would feel the same' as her under different circumstances... just maybe, because she really is an extremely nice woman. “So... what happened? We haven't got your latest additions to your file yet. So we only know what we see and what we have been told via phone.”

I thought about it and then when I actually went to say it, it hit me hard. Like a blow to the chest that knocks the wind completely out of you. “My friend...my....roommate...he-” The tears leaked out but I didn't sob nor cry. “he...d-did it.” She looked at me strangely, most likely trying to figure out what I ment by it. What I was talking about. But then her face sort of got this shocked look to it; I looked away quickly seeing her face like that, I snapped out of my breathless spell when I looked down at my lap.

“Well, good news or bad news first?” I looked up scared. She didn't wait for an answer just kept on talking. “Okay, good news is that you will be alright and so will the baby, for now. But, you need to take it easy Blaire. That is alright to call you that, right? Your friends call you it so-” I nodded “So, here's the bad part... well bad for you since you seem independent and active.” What the hell is she talking about now? “No walking of any kind, no running or jogging or anything that requires your legs... You'll be on bed rest as well, and-ahh, ahh, ahh, NO!” I frowned angry “You have tons of friends and they already agreed to help out, there isn't anything they wouldn't do for you...” Great, just fucking grand. She is not “extremely nice” anymore, I retract the previous comment. This is what is going to kill me, not the actual moving and doing stuff. “As for bathing and using the restroom... you are able to do that alone though be careful alright, I don't want either of you to get hurt anymore than already is injured. Got it?” Okay, really despising her now!

“When can I leave?” I groaned frustrated.

“Whenever I say you can.” She joked as a huge smile came on her face and she left me there gaping. She really just said that, didn’t she? I smiled too, laughing a bit under my breath as I shook my head. She gets me, she really does understand me. Somehow I have a feeling she was like me when she was younger in a way, she definitely had attitude and sass. Hell, she still does.

A minute or so later Lucas and Matt came in, both with saddened faces, solemn-like. Why does it matter though? Considering sadness is usually a common part of hospitals, a majority of people have solemn aspects to their demeanor at that time.

Although the thing is: they actually were together...when they hate each other. And that is a sure sign of something bad happening. My smile faded instantly.