Dead Silence

The night was growing colder by each approaching hour. And as Jack and I were coming down we decided it would be better to sleep off the worst of the effects at home.
"See you tomorrow man" he said getting up, stumbling at first.

"Yeah" I replied. I stood up and wobbled over to my car, before slipping inside and turning on the engine. I just sat there for a minute. Replaying the nights events. Why had I had such a weird dream? Well there was the drugs that could have, and most likely did cause it, but then again along with the empathy stuff there were dreams. Dreams about peoples lives and deaths would come to me. As if to make me see what the people had seen. Even in my own dreams this thing followed me. There really was no escaping this was there? No.

I sighed and drove off. The winding roads that lead down to my house seemed unusually dark tonight. The trees almost alive. Soft rain drops fell on my window, quickly becoming harder. Flashes of lighting penetrated the skies. I drove into my driveway. The lights were still on, no doubt my mother waiting for my arrival. I looked at the clock in my car. In blinking green it read 12:34, doom. Damn. I got out of the car and locked it, before hurrying in out of the rain inside.

Just like I thought there she was in her bathrobe sipping coffee. Her eye glared up at me.
"There you are" she said before running over to me.

"Do you know how worried I was, do you know what could have happened?"
"Chill mom I'm only thirty four minutes late"
"It only take a few seconds over to worry me, I'm your mother"
"Can you not yell?"
"What you hung over? God why do you go out and purposely try and kill yourself after all you have been through maybe you would do stuff like this but apparently you do!"
"Mom please"
"Don't mom please me go to bed"
"Fine" I said wobbling towards my room. My head was pounding. Damn I thought stumbling into the bathroom. I looked at my face in the mirror, blood shot eyes were staring back at me.
"What are you looking at?" I asked myself. The thunder boomed outside. I could not take this anymore. I looked at my wrist scares lined them up. I took a deep breath before screaming.
"AHHHHHHH" I screamed locking the door throwing open the cabinet door pulling out my best friend. My pale fingers held it the shiny sharp object. I brought it to my wrist apling pressure.
"Raphael open this door, what are you doing?"
"GO AWAY!" I screamed as I sliced open the old scares. Thick red blood gushed out. I started the water holding it under becoming a crimson red.
"Please do not do this" she begged. Too late. I felt the pain released in the form of the blood spilling out. Once the blood had ceased I turned off the water and opened the door.
"Why are you doing this?" She yelled at my grabbing my wrist.

"Baby, no.no.no.no please stop this" She pleaded.
"Leave me alone" I said trying not to cry. Her fingers let go and she just walked away. I went into my room locking the door before lying down on my bed. I just wanted a normal life. But no I had to have this gift. This pain. And there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing. I could not help it the tears flowed down.

Why is my life so messed up? Why cant I live like any of the other kids did. I just want to be normal to be able to go on everyday like nothing else was wrong in the world, to think that everything is going to be ok. That teenage invisibility that the other kids at my school thought they had. And to be so lucky but to have only one voice in your head and no one else can enter it but you. To be able to pass by someone whose been crying and feel nothing at all, because their feelings are bottled up inside them. These are the simple things no body thinks about, no one but me.

My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I glanced at the caller ID. Jack.

From Jack: You ok? I fumbled with the keys and hit send.

From Lilly: Yeah
From Jack: That is good, you going to school tomorrow
From Lilly: Yeah, I guess so
From Jack: Did ur mom find out?
From Lilly: Oh yeah
From Jack: uh oh
From Lilly: Not really just yelled at me
From Jack: Lucky my mom would kill me
From Lilly: lol yeah she would
From Jack: U sure you are ok
From Lilly: Call me

I waited a few minutes before the phone vibrated again this time with an incoming call from Jack. I pressed talk and put it to my ear.
"You ok Lilly?"
"I don't know I guess I'm just tired you know" I said trying not to let my voice break.

"Come on Lilly I know you are lying"
"Jack, please don't get mad"
"About what?"
"When I got home my mom, she just would stop yelling and she was making me feel so guilty that I just, I-"
"You did it again huh?"
"I'm sorry" I said breaking down crying. Jack hated it when I cut because he use to when he was 13 and almost died from the blood lose. He had gotten help, but it pained him to see what happened to him happening to his best friend. There was silence across the line.
"Jack?"
"I'm still here"
"Are you mad?"
"No, not mad but I wish you would call me before you do this so I could talk about it to you"
"I'm so sorry I'm a horrible friend"
"No you are not stop saying that" I could feel his emotions threw the phone. Disappointment and sadness.
"Lilly don't cry" he said.

:"I-I just want to be normal Jack, I can not take this anymore!" I cried out hugging the phone.

"Lilly I know look, I got to go but I will see you tomorrow right?"
"Y-yeah" I said calming down a bit.
"Ok bye"
"bye" I said before hitting end. Jack was my life line, he had brought me back from the brink of suicide before. I could stand the fact that I was hurting him.
"Jack Im so sorry" I whispered, before falling to sleep.

BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP
My hand slammed down on the off button. Ugh. Morning already? Damn. I got out of bed and got ready before once again driving off to school.

Jack was waiting at the entrance.
"LILLY!" he yelled running up to me. He embraced me gently.
"You ok?"
"Yeah" I responded hugging him back.

"Lilly was there something wrong?" a voice said behind me. I could feel Jacks oar change from a happy one to a protective and angry one. His teeth grinned together.

"Are you ok, you look tired?"
"Im fine Jezebel"
"That's good" he said patting me on the shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" Jack said stepping forward.
"Jack please don't do this"
"No, I want to know what this guys deal is with you" Jezebels face changed becoming cold and resentful. His eyes were set on Jack. Jacks body filled with fear, he stepped back.
"Now, now Jack haven't you heard of being nice?"
"Of course I have"
"Well then I was just being nice, now run along I wish to talk with Lilly in private" Jack looked at me.

"It's fine Jack I'll see you in class" Jack's eyes darted back to Jezebel before taking off.

"Ah now that we are alone would you care to talk?"
"Sure"
"Ok, well you know the first day I saw you there was something about you Lilly"
"What do you mean"
"Well besides the obvious there is something special about you, a charm"
"Uh thanks"
"You know I don't mean to be so unfriendly to Jack, maybe its just jealously that you and him are so close, you know I really like you Lily, you are beautiful"
"Uh" I said feeling my heart race. Was he coming on to me? He lead me around the school were know one could see us.
"Don't be afraid" he said holding my face in his hand. He leaned down meeting my lips. It was magical. My heart skipped a beat. Slowly I came out of shock and started kissing him back. His hands gently slid down my sides holding onto my waist. Our lips moved together in pure bliss. When our lips parted I looked into his eyes.
"Wow, you are a good kisser" he said.

"Um so are you" I said blushing.
"Well classes are almost started I will see you around Lilly" he said as he walked away his hand caressed my cheek. My legs felt like Jell-O and my heart was still racing. I managed to walk inside where Jack was waiting.
"What happened?"
"H-he kissed me"
"He WHAT?"
"Yeah, Jack it was amazing" Jack looked angry.
"Why are you upset?"
"Nothing I just cant believe that he would do that" I knew though he was jealous of him.

"Do you like him?"
"I don't know" I said feeling myself blush.
"I think so"
"Yeah, that's what I thought"
"Please don't be mad at me" I begged.
"I'm not mad, but he doesn't feel right don't you see that"
"That is just it I don't feel anything from him, it's like a dream, I have no idea what he is thinking or feeling and it's the most amazing thing I have ever felt it is like an escape for me, do you not see that?"
"I do Lilly and that's what scares me, don't you find that weird"
"Well yeah, but there are bound to be people I can't feel right, limits"
"That doesn't mean you should go around kissing these limits"
"Jack pleas let me have this"
"Fine" he said before walking away.

"I don't think he likes me" Jezebel said from behind.
"How long were you standing there?"
"Long enough to hear" I felt myself blush for the billionth time today.
"So, do you like me?"
"Yes" I said looking away. He leaned down kissing me again I could feel Jack watching me from the stairs before running away.

"Be mine"
"What?"
"Be mine Lilly"
"You mean like dating?"
"If that's what you want then yes"
"I-I guess so"
"Good, now let's get to class"