Dead Silence

My mum let the whole Jack thing go (thank god) and didn't ask any more questions for the rest of the ride. When we drove up to the house she sighed and got out leaving me there in the car. I could tell that she was upset; I know that she wanted to be close to me but it was just so hard. I was still feeling a little tired so I decided that it would be a good idea if I just went to my room and slept.

I woke up around 4 am. Still a few hours before I had to get up and get ready for school. My head was killing me. Where are my damn meds? I thought. I got up dizzy at first but regaining my balance and walked into the kitchen and went through the medicine cabinet. There it was. I grabbed the needle and medicine bottle and stuck it through the thin membrane of the lid and sucked up the medicine. I pushed the syringe a bit and flicked it to get the air bubbles out. My head ache was getting worse. I better do this quick. I pulled back my boxers and took an alcohol swab and wiped off the area where I was going to inject. I took a deep breath and stuck the needle into my thigh. I pushed it down and watched the medicine in. The needle retracted and I threw it away.
"Oh god" I moaned as I felt dizzy again. I sat down next to the kitchen table and took a deep breath. I feel like shit. I really don't want to go to school today I don't want to have to deal with Jack and Jezebel's shit today. Even though I'd slept most the day yesterday and then all last night but I was still so tired.

I got back into bed but was unable to fall back asleep. I tossed a turned for what felt like ages but sleep never came. My head ache had gone away but I still felt bad. I felt weak. Like the feeling you get before you come down with a bad cold.

DING DING DING DING DING the sound of my alarm clock blared. I slammed the off button down and got up again. I walked into the bathroom and looked at my pathetic excuse for an appearance. I brushed and straightened my hair before putting on my make up and pulling on black skinny jeans and a tee shirt. I didn't feel good at all. I leaned over the toilet and gagged but didn't get sick. Maybe I was coming down with something? I brushed my teeth and grabbed my keys before heading out the door and getting in my car.

The engine roared to life and I backed out of the drive way and drove down the road to my school. There weren't as many police as before. I saw Jack talking to some other guys we hang out with. He saw me and bid goodbye to them before coming over to greet me.
"What's up?"
"Where are all the police?"
"What? Did you not see the news this morning? Last night someone found the body of a young girl torn apart near the club strip said they found her over in the wooded area part, so most of the police are working that case they're starting to think this might not be a bear but a serial killer"
"Damn"
"I know right?"
"Well did you get anymore research done?"
"Eh, not a lot I was too worried about you but this stuff is really scary though"
"Tell me about it" I felt like I was fighting to keep my eyes open now. I couldn't see straight and I felt like I was goanna faint.
"Are you feeling ok?"
"Oh I just kinda still feel a little weird from yesterday that's all I'll be fine"
"Anyways see you in class I gotta go" Jack said. I could feel anxiety in him.
"Lilly" Jezebel's smooth voice called my name. I looked back and Jack was already at the entrance of the school. A menacing glare directed towards Jezebel.
"You look well rested" I said to him. His face was a pale creamy peach color and seemed all most as if it was made of porcelain.
"Yeah thanks I did get a good night's sleep last night" he said chuckling.
"Are you feeling ok?" he asked lifting up my chin so he could see me.
"I'm just a little tired" He pulled me up to him. His pale pink lips touched mine and paused there for a second before pulling back and giving me a weird look.
"You sure you're ok?"
"I'll be fine" I said getting a little annoyed with all the questioning.
"We better get to class" he said.
"Yeah"
"Look" Jezebel said pointing towards the sky. White snow flakes danced in the powder colored sky.
"It's snowing" Jezebel held out his hand. He brought it back and a single snow flake laided in the palm of his hand, before melting away.
"It's cold" I had on a jacket but felt like I was freezing to death. Jezebel took off his long trench coat and wrapped it around me. He had on a stripped thin turtle neck.
"It'll be warm inside"
"Yeah" I said. He wrapped his arm around me holding me in close. We got in right before the bell rang and had to hurry off to class. When we got to gym and the students were all talking and laughing.
"Alright we will be inside today but please change out so go to the locker room's and quickly get changed" he said putting emphases on the quickly.
"Come on let's go" he said walking towards the locker room. Jack was already inside sitting by one of the lockers tying his shoe. Jezebel growled.
"I know you two don't like each other but please try to be nice?"
"Fine"
"Thanks I'll be right back" I said before walking over to Jack.
"Hey Lilly" Jack's sweet voice said.
"Hey" I said putting my hand on my forehead my head ache was returning.
"Whoa, sit down you don't look to good"
"That would be pretty accurate" I said sitting down next to him.
"Alright, well what's wrong?"
"I'm cold, I hurt, my head and stomach are killing me and I can hear the the inner feelings of everyone in the fucking room so ya know the normal"
"You goanna be ok hun?"
"I guess"
"Actually I think I'm goanna puke"
"Like for real?" Jack asked.
"Yeah"
"Alright well the bathrooms are right there" he said helping me get up. I ran into on of the stales and got down on my knees leaning over the toilet. I coughed feeling really sick. Jack stood outside the stale.
"Lilly you ok?"
"Lilly?" I threw up. I started crying when I saw the black liquid.
"Forget about me?" the voice asked laughing.
"No, please" I begged.
"Lilly, let me in" I unlocked it. Jack came in and locked it back sitting down next to me. He patted my on the back and pulled my hair back.
"Oh my god are you alright"
"I think so" I said. Jack reached over me and got a piece of toilet paper and cleaned the sides of my mouth and snakebites.
"Mint?" he said handing me on. I put it in my mouth and sighed.
"Come on we better get to class" he said helping me up.
"I love you" he said closing the space between us. I felt his lips on mine. I pushed him back.
"Gross"
"What?"
"I just threw up my mouth must taste like shit"
"I don't care I just want you, Jezebel doesn't know what beautiful boy he's got"
"Jack please don't do this"
"Fine" he said and walked out. When I got out into the gym, Jezebel was waiting for me.
"What took you so long"
"I got sick"
"Oh" he said before turning and walking with me. Three laps around the gym before class starts that's the rule. Most people were running but I wasn't. First off I didn't feel like it (like I ever did) and secondly it was a waste of energy. That's what people do they run around in circles all day. They don't know why they do it, and they don't want to do it. But they do, just because that's what's expected of them. They won't question it or refuse it. They simple just conform. It gets them no where and they don't even see that. Maybe if you keep running long enough then you'll finally get somewhere. But I don't know of any place in this shit hole of a life worth running for.

And that's what the reason I would ever run from something or for something. What did I have to run for? What could I run from, that wouldn't some day catch me.
"I don't like Jack" Jezebel said breaking my train of thought.
"I know"
"No, I mean I really don't like him, I don't like that he's around you I don't like that you like him"
"What are you talking about he's my best friend"
"Yeah, he knows more about you then I do, you're with him more then me, I just feel cheated, I should be the one you trust I should be the one you're with not him"
"I've know him all my life, he's helped me through everything shitty thing I've ever been through"
"Yeah, but you're with me now. You don't need him; I'm all that you need"
"I need you both"
"No you don't god does he even care about you or is it just that he wants to have sex with you, is it even about that anymore?"
"How dare you say that? Of course he does" I said snapping.
"Don't cry" Jezebel said stopping and turning towards me.
"How dare you? He's my best friend and I love him"
"I know that I'm just looking out for what's best for you, it causes you so much pain, but what if I was just us, then you wouldn't have to worry about any of this, I want you to come over again"
"Look, I want to alright don't think that I don't but..."
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to"
"That's what you said last time, I wasn't ready I didn't want to have sex I just wanted to make you happy so that you would love me"
"I do love you, and I do want to have sex with you but if you don't want to that's fine"
"I don't want to make you unhappy though"
"I'm not"
"Yes you are"
"No, I don't care I just want to be with you"
"BULLSHIT!" Jack's angry voice yelled from behind me. The whole gym class went quite.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me, you're fucking bullshit you don't care about anyone but you're self! I LOVE LILLY MORE THEN ANYONE IN THE FUCKING WORLD COULD EVER LOVE ANYONE AND IT KILLS ME THAT HE'S WITH AN ASSHOLE LIKE YOU! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW GOOD YOU HAVE IT! IF YOU ASK ME THIS "KILLER" SHOULD STOP GOING AFTER THESE PEOPLE AND KILL YOU"
"You really shouldn't have said that" Jezebel said. His eyes narrowed. Jack's legs were shaking.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he let out a piercing scream.
"FIGHT!" one of the kids yelled. Jezebel's eyes were fixed on Jack's shaking body. Jack's eyes were wide. I could feel the pure fear in Jack. And even in some of the other kids.
"I don't think you know who you are fucking with, so do me a favor SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH BEFORE YOU FORCE ME TO DO SOMETHING THAT WOULD HURT LILLY"
"You wouldn't dare touch me"
"If I didn't think it would hurt Lilly you'd be in the fucking ground"
"Please stop!" I begged.
"If you even fucking dare touch me or him it'll be you in the ground"
"I'd like to see you try I'm a lot stronger then you Jack"
"I don't care"
"JACK JEZEBEL BREAK IT UP" One of the coached said coming over and pushing them apart.
"Both of you cool off" he said pulling Jack away. Jezebel smirked.
"Stop please" I begged.
"I'm trying to it's him who won't"
"Jezebel please just don't talk to each other you're making me sick ok"
"Just stay away from him and I won't have to"
"Whatever, I'm done talking about it" I said starting to walk again.

Class ended and everyone ran out of the gym and changed back. Jack was walking out of the doors towards us. Jezebel saw and grabbed me picking me up and kissing me. Jack bit his lip and ran the other way.
"See you later baby" Jezebel said walking off. I turned around and ran after Jack.
"Jack please wait!"
"Why don't you go be with your perfect boyfriend and have your perfect life and just bask in each other's perfectness"
"Jack what the hell why are you acting like this?"
"Because you're being stupid he's not right he's to damn controlling"
"He's not he just loves me"
"Bullshit Lilly I'm sorry to fucking break it to you but he's been using you since day one, all he wants to do is fuck you alright? And you're fucking letting him!"
"Are you calling me a whore?"
"No I'm calling you stupid, You know what if you want to be with him so much then why don't you just fucking do it, but you can forget about us alright, if you wanna act like a dumb cunt then go ahead by all means be one, but don't expect me to be there goodbye Raphael have a nice life" he said before turning around. I could feel the hurt, anger and sorrow in him. I just stood there with my mouth open. I felt numb like everything was slipping through my fingers. Tears flowed down my checks.
"JACK!" I screamed his name before falling to my knees. Some kids had gathered around the hall watching it.
"JACK! PLEASE!"
"Jack" I cried. I didn't care who saw. I just wanted to die. I clenched my teeth together and ran as fast as I could the other way.
"BLOODY FUCKING HELL" I screamed pulling my hair and crying. The other students just stared. I reached into my pocket and pulled out mechanical pencil. I ran around a corner and hit it agnist the wall and broke it in half. I brought the sharp edge to my wrist. I'm goanna end it right here. I brought it down to draw the vertical line that would take away the pain. As soon as it made contact with my skin, something stopped it.
"No baby you can't do that" Jezebel said taking the pencil from my hand and letting it drop to the floor. I turned into him and cried into his chest.
"I didn't want this, I know it hurt you"
"Jezebel" I could even catch my breath before breaking down crying again.
"Come on" he said bringing me into the empty class room that was down this hall. He closed the door and sat down in what use to be the teachers chair. He held out his arms to me. I walked over and he wrapped his arms around me and held me as I cried.
"Shhh, It's goanna be ok baby I love you so much"
"I love you too"
"I'm never going to do this to you" he whispered to me. I wanted so much to believe it. I wanted to believe that he wouldn't hurt me. But everyone does. The more you love someone the worse it hurts. Anyone you get close to or care about will eventually hurt you, question is how much.
"du guckst mich an und ich geh mit und der ist ewig dieser augenblick da scheint die sonne da lacht das leben da geht mein herz auf ich will's dir geben ich will dich tragen ich will dich lieben denn die liebe ist geblieben hat nicht gefragt ist einfach da weglaufen geht nicht das ist mir klar" he sung his voice was enchanting.
"What's that?"
"Love is, it's German love song that I learned when I was in Germany"
"Do you like?"
"It's beautiful" I said.
"Thank you" he said leaning down and kissing me.