Their Violence, Your Silence.
Because I...
I held onto Winter’s tiny frame as tightly as I could, afraid that if I let her go she’d disappear. Afraid that if I let her go I’d be unable to stop myself from attacking the man again.
‘Get up!’ it came out as a growl but I didn’t care. I wanted this man out of my sight and out of Winter’s life for good.
It was satisfying to see the man scramble around, shuffling out of my reach. He was scared of me, good. Because he should be.
‘Now pack your stuff and leave before I change my mind and call the cops. Got that? I don’t want to see your sorry face in this city ever again.’ Winter shivered in my arms and it was almost automatic the way I immediately lifted my hand to stroke her head.
‘It’s alright, you’re safe now. I’ll protect you,’ I whispered, and I meant every word of it.
We stood like that for a long time even after the man had run from the room carrying his suitcase. She was crying and her sobs shook her shoulders, her fists clenched tightly in my shirt.
I was boiling on the inside, another reason to stay put for just a little longer. I didn’t want to run into that filthy man again. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stop myself from beating the guy to death then, or worse.
Already I was considering looking up the guys name in the system so I could track him down. How could he ever try do that to Winter? Everything about her just screamed innocence unlike Marley who clearly liked the attention.
And then of course I realized how cruel and mean I’d been to her because I’d been afraid of what other people would think of me. Saving her now wasn’t nearly enough to make up for that. I was just as bad as that man was.
I swallowed and scanned the room around me. The bed was in disarray but other than that it looked almost normal. Except for the bloodstain on the ground near the window. Blood from that guys bloody nose.
Unclenching my fists was difficult and unwrapping my arms from Winter near impossible but I managed somehow. I didn’t deserve to hold her like that. It should be that boyfriend of hers holding her…
Although I thought it I couldn’t agree with the thought. I was a selfish person because all I really wanted was for Winter to forgive me and love me and not that guy. No matter how nice he might be.
Winter looked up at me with her golden brown eyes, her face tearstained but she was no longer crying. She couldn’t see me of course, her glasses had gone missing but that grateful look was unmistakable.
I didn’t deserve that look I thought again, mad at myself and furious at the filthy rapist still. Searching around I spotted her glasses on the floor next to the bed. I picked them up and carefully placed them back on her face, her already large brown eyes enlarging to the size of teacups.
‘There, now you can see again. Are you hurt anywhere?’ I had to work to keep my voice soft and gentle with the anger still boiling inside me but I managed somehow.
She nodded slowly, ‘I’m fine. Really! Just a little shaken that’s all.’ She then did something I’d never expected to see directed at me, no matter how forced it was now. She smiled.
My heart jumped uncomfortably in my chest and I swallowed. From now on I truly would do anything in my power to protect and make this girl happy I vowed silently.
‘Good, I’ll drive you home and you don’t have to come to work tomorrow okay?’ I’d never feel comfortable again letting her work in this hotel on her own. But I knew she’d be too stubborn to stop working here.
She shook her head at my offer, ‘No I’m fine I can take the bus! And I can work tomorrow I wasn’t hurt!’ Conflicting emotions crossed her features that I couldn’t decipher.
I wasn’t going to take no for an answer though, ‘You might be going into shock, you need some food and sugar and then sleep.’ I carefully took her by the arm and started walking to the elevator. She was mumbling protests but followed me meekly enough.
At the front desk in the lobby I told Samantha: ‘I’m taking over Winter’s shift tomorrow, give Celine the remaining four rooms of Winter’s list today. We’re leaving now and I don’t want anyone to enter room number 50 got that?’
Samantha just nodded her head slowly obviously confused but she didn’t protest. The girl would probably do anything I said simply because my father owned this place. Silly.
Winter wasn’t saying anything anymore, just staring straight ahead, a blush on her cheeks.
Was she going into shock now? I hurried us out the door and to my car.
The cold air seemed to jolt her awake again, ‘I’m not getting into your car! I’ll take the bus, I’m fine.’ She sounded stubborn and a little worried or was that fear? I’d deserve it if she was scared of me but I couldn’t believe that.
She’d been far from scared of me before, when she’d been crying in my chest. It had felt as if she never wanted me to let go.
I shook my head firmly, ‘No you’re getting in and we’re going to get something to eat and then I’m taking you home. No argument Winter. I need to make sure you’re alright.’
She sat down in the passenger seat carefully tugging her skirt down and smoothing it unnecessarily. When I started the engine and listened for a moment to its soft purr she whispered: ‘Why?’
I almost didn’t hear her and maybe she hadn’t meant for me to hear but I answered anyway: ‘Because I’ve been nothing but a jerk to you… I have to make it up somehow, no matter how impossible.’
That of course wasn’t the whole truth. I needed her to be alright because somehow I’d fallen hopelessly in love with her.
I felt uncomfortable sitting in that sleek black car of Caleb. Listening to the soft purr of the engine just like he seemed to be doing.
I’d never been so happy in my life to see Caleb as I did this morning and I realized I didn’t want to leave him just jet, despite my arguments about taking the bus. I wanted to be in his company as long as possible while he was still nice like this.
But I couldn’t understand why. Why did he even say he needed me to be safe? After all he himself had put me through? The word need seemed so out of place.
I hadn’t realized I’d voiced the why out loud until he answered: ‘Because I’ve been nothing but a jerk to you… I have to make it up somehow, no matter how impossible.’
All I could do was stare at him then. A smile slowly spreading across my face.
‘Get up!’ it came out as a growl but I didn’t care. I wanted this man out of my sight and out of Winter’s life for good.
It was satisfying to see the man scramble around, shuffling out of my reach. He was scared of me, good. Because he should be.
‘Now pack your stuff and leave before I change my mind and call the cops. Got that? I don’t want to see your sorry face in this city ever again.’ Winter shivered in my arms and it was almost automatic the way I immediately lifted my hand to stroke her head.
‘It’s alright, you’re safe now. I’ll protect you,’ I whispered, and I meant every word of it.
We stood like that for a long time even after the man had run from the room carrying his suitcase. She was crying and her sobs shook her shoulders, her fists clenched tightly in my shirt.
I was boiling on the inside, another reason to stay put for just a little longer. I didn’t want to run into that filthy man again. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stop myself from beating the guy to death then, or worse.
Already I was considering looking up the guys name in the system so I could track him down. How could he ever try do that to Winter? Everything about her just screamed innocence unlike Marley who clearly liked the attention.
And then of course I realized how cruel and mean I’d been to her because I’d been afraid of what other people would think of me. Saving her now wasn’t nearly enough to make up for that. I was just as bad as that man was.
I swallowed and scanned the room around me. The bed was in disarray but other than that it looked almost normal. Except for the bloodstain on the ground near the window. Blood from that guys bloody nose.
Unclenching my fists was difficult and unwrapping my arms from Winter near impossible but I managed somehow. I didn’t deserve to hold her like that. It should be that boyfriend of hers holding her…
Although I thought it I couldn’t agree with the thought. I was a selfish person because all I really wanted was for Winter to forgive me and love me and not that guy. No matter how nice he might be.
Winter looked up at me with her golden brown eyes, her face tearstained but she was no longer crying. She couldn’t see me of course, her glasses had gone missing but that grateful look was unmistakable.
I didn’t deserve that look I thought again, mad at myself and furious at the filthy rapist still. Searching around I spotted her glasses on the floor next to the bed. I picked them up and carefully placed them back on her face, her already large brown eyes enlarging to the size of teacups.
‘There, now you can see again. Are you hurt anywhere?’ I had to work to keep my voice soft and gentle with the anger still boiling inside me but I managed somehow.
She nodded slowly, ‘I’m fine. Really! Just a little shaken that’s all.’ She then did something I’d never expected to see directed at me, no matter how forced it was now. She smiled.
My heart jumped uncomfortably in my chest and I swallowed. From now on I truly would do anything in my power to protect and make this girl happy I vowed silently.
‘Good, I’ll drive you home and you don’t have to come to work tomorrow okay?’ I’d never feel comfortable again letting her work in this hotel on her own. But I knew she’d be too stubborn to stop working here.
She shook her head at my offer, ‘No I’m fine I can take the bus! And I can work tomorrow I wasn’t hurt!’ Conflicting emotions crossed her features that I couldn’t decipher.
I wasn’t going to take no for an answer though, ‘You might be going into shock, you need some food and sugar and then sleep.’ I carefully took her by the arm and started walking to the elevator. She was mumbling protests but followed me meekly enough.
At the front desk in the lobby I told Samantha: ‘I’m taking over Winter’s shift tomorrow, give Celine the remaining four rooms of Winter’s list today. We’re leaving now and I don’t want anyone to enter room number 50 got that?’
Samantha just nodded her head slowly obviously confused but she didn’t protest. The girl would probably do anything I said simply because my father owned this place. Silly.
Winter wasn’t saying anything anymore, just staring straight ahead, a blush on her cheeks.
Was she going into shock now? I hurried us out the door and to my car.
The cold air seemed to jolt her awake again, ‘I’m not getting into your car! I’ll take the bus, I’m fine.’ She sounded stubborn and a little worried or was that fear? I’d deserve it if she was scared of me but I couldn’t believe that.
She’d been far from scared of me before, when she’d been crying in my chest. It had felt as if she never wanted me to let go.
I shook my head firmly, ‘No you’re getting in and we’re going to get something to eat and then I’m taking you home. No argument Winter. I need to make sure you’re alright.’
She sat down in the passenger seat carefully tugging her skirt down and smoothing it unnecessarily. When I started the engine and listened for a moment to its soft purr she whispered: ‘Why?’
I almost didn’t hear her and maybe she hadn’t meant for me to hear but I answered anyway: ‘Because I’ve been nothing but a jerk to you… I have to make it up somehow, no matter how impossible.’
That of course wasn’t the whole truth. I needed her to be alright because somehow I’d fallen hopelessly in love with her.
*~*~*~*~*
I felt uncomfortable sitting in that sleek black car of Caleb. Listening to the soft purr of the engine just like he seemed to be doing.
I’d never been so happy in my life to see Caleb as I did this morning and I realized I didn’t want to leave him just jet, despite my arguments about taking the bus. I wanted to be in his company as long as possible while he was still nice like this.
But I couldn’t understand why. Why did he even say he needed me to be safe? After all he himself had put me through? The word need seemed so out of place.
I hadn’t realized I’d voiced the why out loud until he answered: ‘Because I’ve been nothing but a jerk to you… I have to make it up somehow, no matter how impossible.’
All I could do was stare at him then. A smile slowly spreading across my face.