Their Violence, Your Silence.

I felt both hot and cold at the same time as I leaned my back against the wall. Winter’s playing was beautiful and haunting and amazing all in one.

But I couldn’t go in there and face her right now.

I’d almost kissed her!

I hated myself for wishing that the doorbell had never interrupted us. Because after all the times I hurt her and bullied her I didn’t deserve to have her trust never mind about her love.

I doubted very much she’d ever want something like that from me. The lines from that song I heard her sing the first time were still very clear in my mind: it can’t be undone.

It was a harsh reminder of the reason why I shouldn’t be trying to kiss her. I was only going to protect her, keep her safe and do my best to make her happy.

I did wish I had the guts to join them in the piano room right now, instead of standing in the corridor sneaking around to listen. Even my dad was in there and he’d avoided the piano room ever since mom died.

Squaring my shoulders I finally decided to just face it and go in there. Nothing could happen with so many people around anyway.

‘Caleb!’

The first sound to greet me was her excited voice. Was that because she was happy to see me? Or just because she was excited about playing the piano?

‘You never told me you had such a talented friend Caleb,’ said my father from his position leaning against the piano beside Winter. A gentle smile on his usually stern face.

I shrugged my shoulders, ‘Oh this isn’t all, she sings too, very well I might add.’ Already I was smiling as well, see this wasn’t too bad. I felt happy because my dad seemed to really like Winter.

Except Damien most of my friends seemed to accept her really.

Winter gasped loudly, ‘Who told you that!’

It brought a wider smile to my face: ‘No one, I happened to hear you once after practice.’ My
smile disappearing as I heard the words: It can’t be undone echo through my head again.
I quickly looked away from her gentle honey colored eyes, afraid to see rejection in them.

‘Oh Winter you can sing? That’s awesome! Let’s hear it!’ said Cassie as she hugged
Winter enthusiastically. The girl was practically bouncing in her seat beside Winter on the piano stool.

I could tell Winter couldn’t resist Cassie’s pleading eyes even though she was swallowing nervously as she looked around the room at all the spectators.

‘Alright, but I don’t know that many songs…’ she said softly her eyes darting around the room again. A shy glance in my direction before she turned to Cassie her back to me now.

She took off her glasses and placed them on the piano before she put her fingers gently on the piano. I couldn’t help but find her movements incredibly graceful.

The music she played this time was unfamiliar but her voice gave me shivers when she sang the first few lines:

‘Couldn’t save you from the start, love you so it hurts my soul. Can you forgive me for trying again? Your silence makes me hold my breath…

Oh time has passed you by.’

It was entirely different from what she’d sang before. Much more gentle and delicate.

‘Oh, for so long I’ve tried to shield you from the world. You couldn’t face the freedom on your own…

Here I am, left in silence…’

The entire room seemed enraptured as she sang. Even Damien was standing slack jawed and I could tell my father was very impressed. Well maybe that meant I could let Winter use the piano more often. I don’t think she had much chance to practice a lot.

‘You gave up the fight, you left me behind. All that’s done’s forgiven.’ Winter started the chorus and I sucked in a surprised breath, had she picked this song on purpose or was it a coincidence?

‘You’ll always be mine, I know deep inside. All that’s done’s forgiven!’ She continued on but I didn’t hear the words. A new set of words ringing in my ears this time. All that’s done’s forgiven…



I still wasn’t over the shock of Caleb knowing I’d liked to sing sometimes. Not over the shock either of actually letting myself be convinced to sing in front of all these people. And intensely curious about when Caleb at had the chance to hear me sing in the first place.

But like always I let the music carry me away as I sang the familiar words of the song Forgiven by Within Temptation.

My eyes closed on their own accord and it was easy to forget the many eyes on me as my hands glided across the piano keys. Even Mister Thornleigh’s stern gaze was easy to forget.

When I was done there as an applause and then Cassie tackled me in a hug that send us sprawling across the white marble floor.

‘That was freaking amazing!’

‘Wow that’s really beautiful…’

‘Didn’t expect that!’

And more such comments flew across the room, a few hands clapping me on the shoulder and a warm encouraging smile from Mister Thornleigh himself.
‘Slam!’

Everyone jumped in shock from the loud sound. Startled I looked for Caleb and found him staring at the door that someone had slammed shut on the way out.

‘Well that was the last time I invited him over I think,’ was all he said with a shrug before turning back around and smiling at me. Those same strands of hair I’d tucked behind his ear earlier falling across his forehead again.

I sighed softly when his eyes quickly darted away, I was sure he was avoiding me now, since our moment in the kitchen.



Cassie and Shane drove me home just before dinner, the both of them talking excitedly about the day’s events.

I was feeling pretty good about myself, it seemed most of the guys that appeared so intimidating and popular in school were in fact pretty cool.

The only one who obviously hadn’t scored high in my book today was Damien, with his rude comments , glares and eventually the slamming of that door. I was happy that Caleb appeared to feel the same way.

What I wasn’t happy about was the fact we got interrupted in the kitchen, I was sure it was forever going to haunt me now. What would have happened if we hadn’t been disturbed?

And why was Caleb trying to avoid me now? I hadn’t even realized he’d arranged with Cassie to take me home until it was time to leave.

It was of course stupid to think that he would leave his own home to drive me…

‘Well this is your stop Win,’ said Shane all of a sudden. Startled I looked up at the old derelict house and nodded.

‘Well, thanks for the ride, I had fun,’ I told them both before getting out and hurrying inside.

What to do about Caleb? I thought as I closed the door behind me. What's done is done though and I should just see what happens tomorrow. With that I strode into the kitchen and greeted my parents.