Their Violence, Your Silence.

Sunday I didn't come out of my room all day. I spend a part of it on the phone with Cassie as I explained to her what had happened in short clipped sentences. Downplaying most of it and then making her swear to allow me to solve things on my own.

I really didn't want her to get involved.

Another phone call happened more or less the same as I talked with Katie. She insisted in coming over to have a proper girls day with loads of ice cream and a cheesy movie of some sort but I managed to deflect that too.

I didn't feel like having company at all. Instead I sat around and read, I caught up with all my homework from the missed schooldays. Avoided Jared some more because he had noticed something was wrong.

It was really awkward when he came into my room saying: 'Sis, is everything alright? Why aren't you with Caleb like usual?' The concern in his voice was obvious, but I couldn't very well tell him what had happened, or what I'd seen at least, I didn't really know what had happened.

I think that if I told him he'd call his friends and they'd all march over to Caleb's house to 'teach him a lesson' so to speak. Hotheaded fools all of them, but I knew they'd do it out of love.

That brought me back to the biggest problem. I loved Caleb, I knew I did from the start and now he'd told me he loved me too. Right after I'd found him kissing another girl...

I wasn't sure how to react to all of this. Should I heed that woman's advice? Give Caleb a chance to talk? To explain things? Or should I finish this. Ignore him? Get over it somehow?

I didn't think I could do that. But I knew I wouldn't be able listen to his explanation either... I'd probably fold the moment he turned his eyes on me. Or maybe I'd just get so mad I couldn't listen to it at all...

I wasn't the type to get mad though but I knew I was about this. It wasn't fair. Things should go well for me for once... It seemed like after every good thing a bad thing always followed or if I was lucky the other way around.

That evening at dinner my parent's cast me worried looks but they didn't ask any questions. All my mom said was: 'You know where to find me right honey? If you want to talk?' To that I nodded and excused myself to go to my room.



I had managed to 'bully' Jared into giving me a ride to school on Monday morning. He didn't ask any questions either about why either but he cast me a lot of confused glances. There was no mention of Caleb's name so I think he was suspecting something.

However just as I opened the front door to get to Jared's old beat up car I saw a shiny silver one pull up in front of our house.

Did Caleb seriously think I still wanted to ride with him? But Jared's surprised voice from behind me made me hurry towards his car, just so I could get away from my brothers prying eyes.

I slumped in the leather seat and crossed my arms in front of my chest without saying a word to him. Staring moodily in front of me without really paying attention to anything.

I listened to the soft purr of the engine as we pulled away from the curb. Interrupted a little by the drumming of Caleb's fingers on the steering wheel. It was obvious he was nervous and tense, the muscles in his underarm taut with strain as he clenched his fists around the wheel all of a sudden.

I turned my back slightly to him. Knowing how much I wanted to see him and just forget all about it... But I wasn't going to let this slide, I wouldn't let him lead me on if he was seeing someone else on the side.

The atmosphere was nearly choking me. With Caleb beside me spluttering softly as he opened and closed his mouth continually as if he wanted to say something.

Finally he blurted: 'At least tell me about the surgery please? What happened? That's where you went those three days wasn't it? Why didn't you tell me?'

His voice rose with each question to a higher pitch, it made it obvious how much it had been on his mind and how bad he wanted an answer. I knew that if I'd look at him I'd see the same agonized expression I'd seen Saturday evening.

I shrugged, my back still to him, 'They fixed my eyes...Laser surgery. It was Cassie's idea to hide it from you as a surprise or something...'

'That's great news Wins... I'm glad for you,' said Caleb, his voice sounding genuinely happy for a short moment but dropping in the end. He was looking at me now, I could feel his eyes burning on my back.

It was quiet again and just as we pulled into the school parking lot he said: 'I'm sorry Wins... I really didn't mean for things to happen this way. I swear I thought she was you.'

My hand froze on the door handle but anger flared through me. How could he even confuse someone for me? Didn't he recognize my voice or the way I moved? I could get the mask of course but still...

'Don't call me that Caleb,' I heard myself say, hating to hear the familiar nickname coming from his lips. It still made me feel loved when he used it, despite what happened. Then I got out of the car and hurried towards the school building.

Only when I was at the entrance did I dare look back to see that Caleb had only just gotten out of his car. His face suspiciously blank as if he was struggling to keep it that way. He was staring in my direction though and even from this distance the longing in his eyes was obvious.

Already whisper's and rumors were erupting behind me. Nobody failed to notice that something was wrong between the most talked about couple in school. Not that we were a couple anymore I guess.

That thought stung more then I cared to admit, I wanted to be strong and face the day head on. I hurried into the bathroom, knowing I still had about ten minutes till class begun, so I could tuck the emotions safely away in a corner of my mind.

I wanted to make sure I wouldn't break down when I saw Cassie too. She'd probably have loads of questions for me.

When I felt strong and clearheaded enough to venture among other people again I hurried to the English classroom. Seating myself in my usual seat beside Cassie who was already there. All she did though was grab my hand and squeeze it tightly.

Caleb wasn't there but he entered shortly after, his eyes roving across the classroom, lingering on me. I saw him swallow and then almost visibly he squared his shoulders and strode to the seat on my other side.

He sat down heavily and without looking at either me or Cassie, instead he got out his books and started reading intently in them.

I realized I was holding my breath and let it out in a huff. I hated how just the close proximity made my hands tingle and my heart race. I wanted so badly to reach out and grab his hand like I usually. Instead I was holding hands with Cassie who was squeezing me so hard the blood flow had cut off and my fingers were turning blue.

'Cas... Not so hard,' I whispered to her. I knew Cassie was having a hard time refraining herself from lashing out at Caleb. Hot headed as my friend was I knew she was itching to give him a piece of her mind.

I was surprised too that he dared sit down beside me still... But I didn't want to cause a scene, I'd had enough of those to last me a lifetime.

The class room was nearly full when Marley finally arrived. As always late, probably to make sure everyone would see her arrive. She didn't have to worry about a good seat or not, her followers always saved one for her anyway.

Today however when Marley arrived the whole class gasped collectively, including me.

The entire left side of her face was swollen and had a deep purple color, her lip was busted too. The bruising looked so nasty that for a moment I wondered if it was fake. But then I saw how she was restraining her facial expression to limit the movement of the bruise. That was a familiar sight.

Everyone was whispering now about who could have done that to her, the wildest rumors flying around already. Most of them had something to do with me and Caleb of course. It wasn't a coincidence that two such major things happened in one day without there being a connection.

A girl in the seat in front of me said to her friend: 'I bet that Winter did it to her, after she found Marley and Caleb together. I knew that wouldn't work out, Caleb's way to perfect for a geek like her.'

But I knew the truth the moment I saw it, Marley's eyes had skipped right over Caleb to stare at me for a second with a satisfied smirk. Then she fixed everyone else in the room with a smoldering look that commanded everyone to feel sorry for her.

Had Caleb truly hit her? Why would he do that? Marley had been the only one not at the scene on Saturday...

I couldn't resist it and glanced sideways quickly to see what Caleb's reaction to all of this was. The horror reflected on his face now was obvious though, to everyone around us actually.

So he had hit her then... But why? God knows she deserved it. But what had been the trigger to this violence? I knew Caleb wasn't particularly violent himself, usually he was very much in control of his emotions.

Had Marley showed up Saturday night to gloat about us breaking up? Almost it felt like I didn't want to give her that satisfaction and make up to Caleb just for that reason. Almost.

But then the image of Caleb kissing that girl resurfaced again and the thought was easily squashed.