Lavender Fog
Copy Cats
My eyes stung from the brightness and my head ached from the hangover. I was on my stomach, that wasn't what alarmed me. When I sat up and let my feet drop over the edge of the bed wasn't what startled me. But the fact that I was naked and it hurt so much to sit did. Slowly penciling in the lines of last night it became all too clear when I saw the opened and spilled bottle of lube on end of the bed. It'd been ages since I'd been with anyone… I was scared and uncomfortable with anybody else. Trying to keep my quickening and hyperventilating breath quiet, I scanned the room. There was no evidence of protection. Running a hand through my hair I was washed away by thoughts.
No one could hate me as much I did. Last night started out with just a glass of wine, escalading quickly as we reminisced. We eventually transformed into the people at the bar. Stumbling, giggling messes…I let it happen and I couldn't get another one. It was something I would have to do again, it was the best choice. But the idea filled me with the emptiness. I'd felt it the first time after I'd gotten one. One moment you're belly's plump with an unexplainable nervous delight and the next it is with guilt pressing down and deflating it. Clenching my fists a punching the air I rested my elbow on my thigh and covered my mouth.
"Auh," I heard Brendon groan as he awoke. He rubbed his eyes and sat up in the fashion I did a few minutes prior. "Ryan?" He mumbled with a cracking voice. Brendon glanced at me and then back down at his naked body. I didn't respond, I just kept my hand over my quivering lips.
"Did we?" I sat still without speaking as Brendon in a swift motion slipped on his boxers. He began searching the garbage, the floor and the nightstand for something I knew he wouldn't find. "Ryan!"
"I know." Moving my hand from my mouth I pressed on my eyeballs hoping it'd stop the layer of moisture forming on them. All static noise and movement in the room stopped and I heard Brendon sigh.
"Maybe," He came over and sat next to me, his tone calmer, sympathetic, "you aren't."
"Yeah, maybe."
No one could hate me as much I did. Last night started out with just a glass of wine, escalading quickly as we reminisced. We eventually transformed into the people at the bar. Stumbling, giggling messes…I let it happen and I couldn't get another one. It was something I would have to do again, it was the best choice. But the idea filled me with the emptiness. I'd felt it the first time after I'd gotten one. One moment you're belly's plump with an unexplainable nervous delight and the next it is with guilt pressing down and deflating it. Clenching my fists a punching the air I rested my elbow on my thigh and covered my mouth.
"Auh," I heard Brendon groan as he awoke. He rubbed his eyes and sat up in the fashion I did a few minutes prior. "Ryan?" He mumbled with a cracking voice. Brendon glanced at me and then back down at his naked body. I didn't respond, I just kept my hand over my quivering lips.
"Did we?" I sat still without speaking as Brendon in a swift motion slipped on his boxers. He began searching the garbage, the floor and the nightstand for something I knew he wouldn't find. "Ryan!"
"I know." Moving my hand from my mouth I pressed on my eyeballs hoping it'd stop the layer of moisture forming on them. All static noise and movement in the room stopped and I heard Brendon sigh.
"Maybe," He came over and sat next to me, his tone calmer, sympathetic, "you aren't."
"Yeah, maybe."
♠ ♠ ♠
yeah, I hate the idea of them sleeping together after getting drunk, but we'll role with it!