I Know.

Show after show, my performance has been getting worse. Everyone is beginning to notice, and I feel quite awful about the whole situation. I just feel so horrible. I really should have kept to myself. I should not have kissed him. Yet I did, and he pushed me away. So many people would jump at a chance to kiss me, and he simply tells me that I cannot always have what I want. I am not some spoiled rockstar. The whole situation just upsets me. I am so sad that I cannot even go on stage without anyone thinking there is something wrong with me. And when I am not sad, I am just so angry. Why can I not be happy? Why do I feel so attached to Lucas? He is just some guy, whom is obsessed with his job and would never quit to be with someone like me. He is off limits.

Yet maybe, that is why I care so much for him.