On the Way Down

Ben watched as his friends partied away with their girlfriends, their arms wrapped around their waist as they watched the clock slowly strike twelve. It was a new year and a new day but he didn’t feel any different, he still felt like the soul who didn’t belong. Anywhere he went he knew he didn’t belong but he tried, he’d been trying to fit in for the past twenty-one years of his life. He checked his phone and let out a long sigh when he realized he missed her call. He walked out of the bar with his hands in his pockets and shivered as the cool wind brushed against his skin.

He figured he should call her back but what was the point? He knew what she would say and that’s not what Ben wanted to hear the first day of a new year. She would just try to talk Ben out of this, she called it idiotic but he didn’t see it that way. He saw this as his only choice to be escape from the everyday challenges his life presented to him. He thinks back and wonders why he never thought of this sooner, this was the only answer to his problems. He already had everything planned out and he knew that he was taking a risk but maybe this was the way to feel like he belonged in the world, a way to see the beauty other people saw. There was no stopping him once an idea was an in his mind, and she knew that.

He had seen these things happen before and he knew what the risks were but he was tired of being predictable Ben. It was time for a change and if Sophie couldn’t handle that then maybe she wasn’t the girl he wanted his life. He checked his phone and smiled as he looked down and saw the number on his screen. He couldn’t answer the phone fast enough, he fumbled around for what seemed like ages but he finally was able to flip his phone open.

“Hello,” He breathed into the phone. He felt the adrenaline pumping throughout his body; his heart was racing with anticipation.

“Hi I’m looking for a Ben Pearson.” Her voice was angelic to him, she was his savior and she didn’t even know it.

“This is Ben.” He said.

“Oh hello this is Katherine I’m just calling to make sure our appointment for this Friday is still set.” She responded back. He could hear the clacking of her keyboard as she waited for his answer. Flashes of his argument with Sophie earlier that day went through his mind; he breathed into the phone and leaned against a wall that was nearest to him.

He couldn’t do this to Sophie and he couldn’t ruin a three year relationship just because he wanted to find his niche in life. If Sophie didn’t want him to do this then maybe she was right, maybe this was the dumbest idea he ever had. “Ben are you there?” She asked.
In a split second everything he just thought was pushed to think of his mind and he was going to do what made him happy. “Do you have anything sooner than Friday?”

The clacking of the keyboard and the clicking of the mouse could be heard and an instant smile was brought to Ben’s face, the sooner this could be done the sooner Ben could find his true happiness in life. “Yes I do. I have an opening tomorrow at twelve, would you like this spot?” She asked.

“Yeah the sooner the better,” He said. The feeling he had in the pit of his stomach was nerves but it was better than that for him, it was pure happiness. For once he was doing something for himself and even if that meant bungee jumping for the first time in his life. He wanted to do something no one thought was possible and if that meant jumping off some random building with only a wire holding his life in the balance then that was what he was going to do.

“Alright well sorry for calling so late but I’ll see you there Ben, have a good night.” The phone disconnected and he shoved it back into his pocket before heading home with a skip in his step. He wouldn’t tell Sophie a thing about this because as far as she was concerned he wasn’t doing this till Friday. He didn’t know how he was going to keep this a secret from her but he was willing to do whatever it took.

With luck on his side Sophie had left him a letter explaining to him that she was going to be gone for the night. He set his alarm and went straight to bed he knew tomorrow would be the best day of his life by far. The morning light shinned through the window of his apartment and Ben quickly dug his head into the darkness of his pillows, throwing the blanket over his body. He heard the keys in the doorway and Sophie calling out his name, he looked over at the clock and sighed. It was only ten in the morning and he still had an hour of sleep before he needed to get ready for the big event. He sat on the edge of the bed and ran a through his bed head calling out to his girlfriend.

“I really hope you aren’t going through with this thing. It’s just beyond ridiculous Ben and I know you still have till Friday to make up your mind, but I’m just telling you that you shouldn’t go through with it.” She said. For the past month that’s all she’s been saying to him, constantly trying to get him to change his mind about going through with this. Nothing was going to change his mind and it was time she learned to accept that.

“Well actually I’m going to today, she had a cancelation and I’m leaving here at eleven thirty so I can meet her at twelve.” Ben responded. The bed squeaked and groaned as he slowly stood up and walked over to their closest. He looked over his shoulder and felt a smile slowly form on his face, he had won.

"What do you mean it’s today?” She walked over to him and stood in front of him standing on her tip toes so she could be face to face with her six foot three boyfriend. Sophie huffed as she waited for him to respond back to her question, she placed her hand on her hips and waited for him to say something.

“It’s today and that’s all I have to say about it. I’ll be back tonight and don’t worry I’ll be okay,” He leaned down and pecked her cheek. “I love you.”

Ben ran out to his car and drove away before Sophie could get out there and cause a scene. He couldn’t say no to her when she was throwing tantrums and he wasn’t going to let her ruin this day for him. It was finally going to happen and for once in his life Ben was going to be able to fit in with the rest of the world, today he was going to find his niche. He put his phone on silent and turned up the radio and drove till he reached his distention.

“Welcome!” His instructor yelled from the top of the building. He could feel his nerves working up and acting against him but he knew he had to this no matter what. She walked over to him and didn’t waste any time before she started to harness him up. He did what she told him and never once questioned her motives. “You’re all set Ben. I’ll walk you to the edge of the building and Luke,” She said pointing at a guy he never noticed till now; he waved and smiled at them. “Will tell what do from there. One thing before you go don’t look down till you have too.” She patted him on the back and sent him on his way. He hesitantly walked over to Luke who had his in life in his hands. Luke took Ben’s harness and hooked him up to the elastic cord, before standing him on the very edge of the building.

The roof door swung open and Sophie ran towards him "BEN NO!" she screams but it's too late, he's already falling, there is nothing she can do but hope that he survives. Tears flooded her eyes when Luke grabbed the cord pulling him back onto the roof, she ran over to him and gave him the biggest hug before hitting his shoulder and calling him stupid.

For the first time Ben felt right and like he belonged in the world and it all happened on the way down.