Falling for Eternity

"Are you sure you'll be alright staying here?"Elena asked, pulling her leather jacket on over her petite shoulders and long brown hair.

I smiled, reassuring her that i'd be more than alright. "Ofcourse. I've been meaning to have a night that consists of total relaxation for a while, so I guess now is the perfect opportunity."

Picking up the keys that sat on the kitchen table, I noticed a glimmer of guilt present in her sparkling eyes. I had realised that after Tyler and I had broken up, she felt as though she needed to be the one to occupy me. Which, ofcourse was totally not the case. I didn't want her to give up her own social life, simply because my relationship had ended. I could never be that selfish, or demanding.

"Okay, well call me if you need anything."She urged, pulling me into a one shoulder hug.

"Just go have fun, alright? And don't worry about me, I beg you."I replied, causing a smile to appear on her cheeks, followed by a sweet giggle. "Now, go. You don't want to miss the start of the game."

"I'll see you later."She called, walking through the hallway towards the front door.

"Byeee!"I chorused, until I heard the door close over behind her.

I drilled my fingers on the kitchen table, wondering what to do with myself when it occured to me that i'd be home alone for the majority of the night. Walking into the living room, I switched on the television and opened up a menu for Pizza Hut, deciding that ordering food would be a good start.

When it came to making up my mind about food - especially Italian - I had came to the conclusion that I was far too fussy. I had either wanted a certain pizza or pasta, and in this case, tonight I wanted both. So, in total pleasure of purchasing my two favourite dishes, I didn't mind paying the extra amount. I figured that Jeremy would finish off the leftovers anyway.

After just a short wait, I was happy that my delivery had arrived. "Just coming!"I yelled, grabbing my purse off of the coffee table, in search of finding a $20 note. However, when I opened up the front door and realised it hadn't been the delivery guy who had rang the bell, my face fell a little.

"Hey"Tyler spoke, looking down at the money I held in my hand.

"Oh, it's you."I replied, opening the door a little wider.

"I'm sorry, were you expecting someone else?"He asked, when I noticed he was carrying one of my over the shoulder handbags.

"I guess you could say that"I said, before allowing him permission to walk through the door. "I mean, I ordered pizza"I then finished, closing it over behind him.

"Oh"Was all he replied with, until realising he was still holding my bag. "I, uh .. I just came by to give you this. It has a few of your things in it and I thought you'd like to have it back."

Smiling half heartedly, I took the bag from him and walked into the living room, placing it just beside the coffee table. "Thanks for bringing it. I thought i'd cleared everything out"I said.

"It's no problem. And besides, it gave me an excuse to come see you."Tyler answered, smiling warmly as his brown eyes focused on mine.

Biting down on my lip, I slid my hands into the back pocket of my jeans. "Uh, shouldn't you be at the game?"I asked, trying to ease the awkwardness that had previously washed over me. "I mean, I know you're injured, but .. don't you need to be there?"

"Well, I guess, but I just .. I don't feel upto going out much anymore."He replied, sitting down on the arm of the sofa, a look of guilt present in his expression.

There was a short silence that filled the room, with neither of us knowing exactly what to say. We hadn't been alone together, properly alone like this since the night of the fundraiser.

"Blake?"Tyler then asked, shattering the silence. "What can I do to make this right?"

"Ty, please don't do this."I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"I need you in my life, Blake."He said, standing up from his position on the sofa.

Feeling a lump form in my throat, I felt myself begin to go numb. I didn't need this, not tonight.

"She was drunk and so was I. Blake, you need to understand how sorry I am. You mean more than the world to me, you mean everything."He continued.

"Stop."I whispered, my voice cracking as my watery eyes closed shut. "Just stop."

Before I could even blink, he was by my side, his hands cupping my cheeks.

"I can't stop and I won't. Not until you tell me that you don't want this."He admitted, his thumb wiping away a tear that was rolling down my cheek. " I love you Blake, i'm in love with you."

I caught my breath, as the lump that had formed in my throat had grown even larger. Surely he didn't just say what I thought he did? He couldn't be in love with me .. could he? Was he?

Without hesitating, Tyler then pressed his lips onto mine, his hands travelling to my waist. I tried to squirm out of his grasp, but my mind was stuck in a rut. My lips weren't moving and my eyes were distant. I didn't invest any energy whatsoever into making him feel like I wanted this.

"Tyler, enough!"I yelled, once my brain finally entered reality.

He stopped immediately, his hands dropping their grasp on my hips.

"I can't do this anymore."I said, my voice shaky as I dropped down onto the sofa.

"What's stopping you Blake?"Tyler asked, sitting down on the space next to me, his tone filled with frustration. "What is it that's stopping you from just accepting that you feel the same?"

I sighed, biting down hard on my lip, wondering why was I being punished this way ...

"Nothing is stopping me Tyler."I said, yet I knew that my heart was lieing.

"Then, what is it Blake?"Tyler pressed, half shouting.

When I turned to face him, I could see the anger in his eyes. And I couldn't help but feel a burning fury race through me as soon as I realised that I shouldn't have to explain myself to anyone. Especially him.

"Who the hell do you think you are Tyler?"I snapped, standing up. "You cheated on me, and yet you have the audacity to walk in here and demand I tell you the reason I don't wanna be with you anymore? Doesn't, "i've been fucking around with my girlfriends friend behind her back" mean anything to you? Are you that fucking stupid as to think I would seriously take you back after that?"I yelled, watching as he stood in complete silence, a look of shock present on his now pale, white cheeks.

"Blake, I ... "He began, but I cut him off.

"I don't want to hear it Tyler. We're done, you got it? It's over. Not get the hell out of here."

Without as much as a mumble, he walked out of the living area, towards the hallway, only once turning back to look at me, before gently slamming the door behind him.

* * * * *

After having barely touched any take out food, I decided to run a hot bath, hoping that it would take away all of the stress that had overwhelmed me in the space of one, short evening. It upset me that I had to talk to Tyler the way I did, but I didn't see any other way of getting through to him. He was the one in the wrong, yet he was acting like it was my fault? And in no way whatsoever was that acceptable.

I let out a long, peaceful breath as soon as I was layed down in the bath, allowing the hot water to soak up my skin. I then closed my eyes, resting my head on the rear surface of the bath. I wanted to allow myself to just forget about it all, to lose myself for a while. Yet, when Tyler's words came floating towards the surface of my mind again, it was the last thing I could have done. 'What's stopping you?' It was like a whirlwind of complications when it came to answering that question. Which was why I knew I could never have told Tyler the real truth. Or maybe, it occured to me that I couldn't even face the truth myself ...

Letting my head fall under the water, in hope that it would block everything out, I remained in the same position until I felt my lungs begin to gasp for air. Sitting up again, I felt my heart beat furiously in my chest. In that moment, I knew then, that I couldn't go on like this for much longer. I needed stability, I needed reason. I needed to get out of this house.

When I had changed clothes and fixed my hair, I grabbed a set of keys and my purse from the bottom of my bed, picking up my jacket as I left my room and made my way downstairs. I wrote a quick note, explaining where I had gone if anyone happened to come home and notice I was gone. Then, after locking up, I ran towards my car, trying to shield myself from the freezing cold wind and spits of rain. I drove quickly to the place I needed to be, to the destination I knew would welcome me openly, amidst everything that had been going on in the past few weeks.

Once I had arrived, I lifted my things from the passenger side seat and locked the car behind me. I jogged towards the front door, as the wind furiously picked up pace, almost managing to drag me in the opposite direction. Then, when finally reaching the door, I knocked loudly. Praying that he would be home. I stood there for what felt like an eternity, until I noticed the door begin to open and the figure that stood behind it. His ocean blue eyes filled with concern, when he noticed the flow of tears that had been making their way down my cheeks. However, without questioning me, he immediately allowed me entrance. Embracing me into his arms, like nothing had ever changed.