Status: Being Written and Edited as we speak ;)
Created
Created (Chpt. 6)
Chapter 6
I sat on the couch in the lobby, all alone, hugging my knees to my chest quietly. I sat, thinking. When I had first sat down, I was thinking about myself, about the Board, about how I would most definitely fail. But not now. Now, I was thinking about Adam, what he was running from, what he was so scared of, who Arta was. Too many unanswerable questions ran through my mind. 'He was so, so afraid... Ah!!' I cried in my head. 'If the Board HAD to assign me to anyone, anyone at all, why not some little boy with the flu, or, or something!! Not this... madman!' But, the thoughts of the possibility of Adam's criminal insanity were the better of another possibility I'd realised later. Maybe Adam wasn't the bad guy in this. Maybe... something bad really was chasing him...
Something moved to my right. Nervously, I dropped my thoughts and I looked over toward the movement, letting out the breath I didn't know I'd held when I saw it was only Nurse Weedman. I stood and walked to her, avoiding the chairs and coffee tables that peppered the lobby.
"You spoke with them?" I asked quietly, trying to read the expression on her face.
"Yes, dear, and..." She trailed off quietly. I swallowed, feeling myself lose hope. "And I couldn't get them to change their minds."
"Oh..." I moaned, suddenly feeling sick down to my stomach. I can't do this, I can't do this... I needed to sit down. Nurse Weedman took my hand and held me up.
"Don't worry, don't worry!! I'll keep trying! But. until I get them to let you off, I'll help you as much as I can! I promise." I only nodded woozily.
"But..." I started, looking up at the Head Nurse. "We don't even know who he is..." Nurse Weedman nodded.
"They seem pretty sure they know, but they didn't say exactly who he is," She told me. I shook my head, closing my eyes. This was too... too much.
"They know who he is? Will they not tell us, will they not help us, help me?!" I asked, frustrated. "I'm just, I'm just sick and tired of this already."
"I know, child, I know." And again, it was Nurse Weedman leading me, consoling me, and I was so grateful I could cry.
"Where did they take him? Is Adam in jail now?" I asked. I almost felt worried for him if they did take him to jail. Adam didn't seem like the type of person who would do well in prison. It would break whatever spirit that Arta person was kind enough NOT to kill. Whoever she was, Adam was terrified of her, and time in prison certainly wouldn't help.
"No, no, he's still in the hospital," Nurse Weedman told me. "In a nice, locked up room just a floor below us." Just below us? I stared almost incredulously at the blue and black pattered rug as Nurse Weedman began to drag me away.
Then came the ultimate turning point. No matter how trivial or small it may seem now, my answer to this question changed my whole life.
"Would you like to go into the room and see him?" Nurse Weedman asked me. "Or has it just been too much for today? I'll go for you if you want me to." Now came the true question among all these words. The one we had both been waiting for. Behind the surface question was the ultimate choice. Would I take this responsibility? Would I take on the responsibility of a true nurse, or let Nurse Weedman take it over? She stopped, then turned to look at me, our brown eyes meeting. "It's your choice." 'My choice...Choice?'I stopped and pondered this statement that, in the past few hours, had become a stranger. No two words had ever sounded so sweet. But I didn't smile. This was truly a grave choice. Those words held more meaning than I had ever thought possible. If I refused to see him, then this entire assignment would forever become Nurse Weedman's. Not technically, not officially, but only to us, in our minds. I would be relying totally on her to do my work for me throughout this entire assignment. I'd be free of the responsibility for now, but who knows what the future holds? Anything could result from this choice, I knew. Anything at all.The results I could see weren't good. If I chose to shirk the responsibility now, I may never be as good a nurse as I'd always dreamed. This one choice could severely influence my experience as a nurse, maybe not the way I want. I didn't want to be so dependent on Nurse Weedman, I didn't want to drop the responsibility. I didn't want to be a weak person, or a weak nurse who couldn't do it for herself.
But on the other hand, if I chose to go, chose to accept the responsibility, I could fail. I would forever be marked as the girl who failed. I didn't want that on my shoulders. Choosing to accept it all may be too much. It might be like I've always suspected, that it was too much work, too much responsibility for me. I could fail. That was the bottom line to my fears. Then again, this could be profitable. Both for my experience as a nurse and for my reputation as a nurse. If I did it, I would forever be the girl who succeeded, even when people thought she couldn't!! She took on the responsibility, she stood strong! The Board put her to the test and she passed!! I'd be strong, and I'd prove myself a worthy nurse. I would literally beat the Board at their own sick game! The poor, hopeless people at this hospital would see that the Board isn't invincible! That, in the end, they could be beat! I'd be some sort of super hero for them, though they might not realise it at the time. If I succeeded, I could pretty much save the whole hospital!!As I weighed the pros and cons of this decision, I came across one last question that would ultimately sway my choice. Which was right? Which of these decisions was the right thing to do, the most unselfish and wise? I smiled, relaxed as the right choice became clear. I had my answer.
I sat on the couch in the lobby, all alone, hugging my knees to my chest quietly. I sat, thinking. When I had first sat down, I was thinking about myself, about the Board, about how I would most definitely fail. But not now. Now, I was thinking about Adam, what he was running from, what he was so scared of, who Arta was. Too many unanswerable questions ran through my mind. 'He was so, so afraid... Ah!!' I cried in my head. 'If the Board HAD to assign me to anyone, anyone at all, why not some little boy with the flu, or, or something!! Not this... madman!' But, the thoughts of the possibility of Adam's criminal insanity were the better of another possibility I'd realised later. Maybe Adam wasn't the bad guy in this. Maybe... something bad really was chasing him...
Something moved to my right. Nervously, I dropped my thoughts and I looked over toward the movement, letting out the breath I didn't know I'd held when I saw it was only Nurse Weedman. I stood and walked to her, avoiding the chairs and coffee tables that peppered the lobby.
"You spoke with them?" I asked quietly, trying to read the expression on her face.
"Yes, dear, and..." She trailed off quietly. I swallowed, feeling myself lose hope. "And I couldn't get them to change their minds."
"Oh..." I moaned, suddenly feeling sick down to my stomach. I can't do this, I can't do this... I needed to sit down. Nurse Weedman took my hand and held me up.
"Don't worry, don't worry!! I'll keep trying! But. until I get them to let you off, I'll help you as much as I can! I promise." I only nodded woozily.
"But..." I started, looking up at the Head Nurse. "We don't even know who he is..." Nurse Weedman nodded.
"They seem pretty sure they know, but they didn't say exactly who he is," She told me. I shook my head, closing my eyes. This was too... too much.
"They know who he is? Will they not tell us, will they not help us, help me?!" I asked, frustrated. "I'm just, I'm just sick and tired of this already."
"I know, child, I know." And again, it was Nurse Weedman leading me, consoling me, and I was so grateful I could cry.
"Where did they take him? Is Adam in jail now?" I asked. I almost felt worried for him if they did take him to jail. Adam didn't seem like the type of person who would do well in prison. It would break whatever spirit that Arta person was kind enough NOT to kill. Whoever she was, Adam was terrified of her, and time in prison certainly wouldn't help.
"No, no, he's still in the hospital," Nurse Weedman told me. "In a nice, locked up room just a floor below us." Just below us? I stared almost incredulously at the blue and black pattered rug as Nurse Weedman began to drag me away.
Then came the ultimate turning point. No matter how trivial or small it may seem now, my answer to this question changed my whole life.
"Would you like to go into the room and see him?" Nurse Weedman asked me. "Or has it just been too much for today? I'll go for you if you want me to." Now came the true question among all these words. The one we had both been waiting for. Behind the surface question was the ultimate choice. Would I take this responsibility? Would I take on the responsibility of a true nurse, or let Nurse Weedman take it over? She stopped, then turned to look at me, our brown eyes meeting. "It's your choice." 'My choice...Choice?'I stopped and pondered this statement that, in the past few hours, had become a stranger. No two words had ever sounded so sweet. But I didn't smile. This was truly a grave choice. Those words held more meaning than I had ever thought possible. If I refused to see him, then this entire assignment would forever become Nurse Weedman's. Not technically, not officially, but only to us, in our minds. I would be relying totally on her to do my work for me throughout this entire assignment. I'd be free of the responsibility for now, but who knows what the future holds? Anything could result from this choice, I knew. Anything at all.The results I could see weren't good. If I chose to shirk the responsibility now, I may never be as good a nurse as I'd always dreamed. This one choice could severely influence my experience as a nurse, maybe not the way I want. I didn't want to be so dependent on Nurse Weedman, I didn't want to drop the responsibility. I didn't want to be a weak person, or a weak nurse who couldn't do it for herself.
But on the other hand, if I chose to go, chose to accept the responsibility, I could fail. I would forever be marked as the girl who failed. I didn't want that on my shoulders. Choosing to accept it all may be too much. It might be like I've always suspected, that it was too much work, too much responsibility for me. I could fail. That was the bottom line to my fears. Then again, this could be profitable. Both for my experience as a nurse and for my reputation as a nurse. If I did it, I would forever be the girl who succeeded, even when people thought she couldn't!! She took on the responsibility, she stood strong! The Board put her to the test and she passed!! I'd be strong, and I'd prove myself a worthy nurse. I would literally beat the Board at their own sick game! The poor, hopeless people at this hospital would see that the Board isn't invincible! That, in the end, they could be beat! I'd be some sort of super hero for them, though they might not realise it at the time. If I succeeded, I could pretty much save the whole hospital!!As I weighed the pros and cons of this decision, I came across one last question that would ultimately sway my choice. Which was right? Which of these decisions was the right thing to do, the most unselfish and wise? I smiled, relaxed as the right choice became clear. I had my answer.
♠ ♠ ♠
I've got a list of songs that would TOTALLY fit Adam, but I can't give them to you or it would give away a lot of his secrets!! It's kinda funny though, if he actually heard these songs and knew I associated them with him, he would be SOO mad!! By the way, I sent 'Created' to the beautiful people at Project Fiction, but was turned down. I've got an editor now, though, and she's helping me, in case you haven't noticed an upward turn in my writing! I'll try again sometime!!!