I Was Just Looking For A Way Out...
Chapter 11
I’m alone again, for sure this time; I checked and everything. Whenever I’m with people, anyone really, I’m always wishing that I could be alone. The same way that whenever I’m alone, I’m wishing that I was with someone, anyone, just to stave of the solitude. Guess I’m just weird like that.
Feel free to replace weird with depressive, stupid, whiney, or a complete and total waste of space. They’re all pretty fitting if you ask me, but who’d really be desperate enough to do that?
All this talk about loneliness, solitude, longing, well you know it’s all got to summit in some weird quest for love… so it seems like a good idea to skip all of that pointless middle filler.
I guess I’m not really looking for love, but I’m not just looking for a warm wet hole either. All I really want is someone I can actually look in the face and… see something, that’s willing to accept me… Not settle but accept; for some reason that’s important. Again, who’d be desperate enough to do that?
The worthless pile of shit I am, I have a better chance of winning the lottery and curing AIDS all on the same lazy Sunday. Feel free to replace AIDS with global warming, or child soldiers in Africa. Or whatever hot issues your bored enough to care about. The only people that actually do care are just bored. You protest because you’ve got nothing better to do; you send letters and write checks because there’s nothing better on TV, because your guilty, because your innocent, because you think your doing your part, because your so self righteous you think you’ll save the world.
I’ve got to insult someone, better the invisible “they” then anyone real, or me. Well maybe better myself, but I already did that right?
…Is the hot water really about to run out in a hospital? I’m pretty sure it’s getting colder…
Because the only way to make sure I was alone was to seek refuge in the bathroom, and a shower didn’t seem quite as sickening as pretending to drop a 2 hour steamer. In hindsight I’d rather be slightly more disgusted in myself then I already am then freezing cold. It’s not like self respect really matters.
I get out and start to towel off… I also heard Jeremiah come in like 15 minutes ago…
You know, with all the open wounds and festering sores out there; they really shouldn’t limit the hot water in a fucking hospital.
Feel free to replace weird with depressive, stupid, whiney, or a complete and total waste of space. They’re all pretty fitting if you ask me, but who’d really be desperate enough to do that?
All this talk about loneliness, solitude, longing, well you know it’s all got to summit in some weird quest for love… so it seems like a good idea to skip all of that pointless middle filler.
I guess I’m not really looking for love, but I’m not just looking for a warm wet hole either. All I really want is someone I can actually look in the face and… see something, that’s willing to accept me… Not settle but accept; for some reason that’s important. Again, who’d be desperate enough to do that?
The worthless pile of shit I am, I have a better chance of winning the lottery and curing AIDS all on the same lazy Sunday. Feel free to replace AIDS with global warming, or child soldiers in Africa. Or whatever hot issues your bored enough to care about. The only people that actually do care are just bored. You protest because you’ve got nothing better to do; you send letters and write checks because there’s nothing better on TV, because your guilty, because your innocent, because you think your doing your part, because your so self righteous you think you’ll save the world.
I’ve got to insult someone, better the invisible “they” then anyone real, or me. Well maybe better myself, but I already did that right?
…Is the hot water really about to run out in a hospital? I’m pretty sure it’s getting colder…
Because the only way to make sure I was alone was to seek refuge in the bathroom, and a shower didn’t seem quite as sickening as pretending to drop a 2 hour steamer. In hindsight I’d rather be slightly more disgusted in myself then I already am then freezing cold. It’s not like self respect really matters.
I get out and start to towel off… I also heard Jeremiah come in like 15 minutes ago…
You know, with all the open wounds and festering sores out there; they really shouldn’t limit the hot water in a fucking hospital.