I Was Just Looking For A Way Out...
Chapter 19
I’m loosing track of the days… maybe it’s day 4, or 5, maybe it’s been 6 days here, I never thought of making a set of tally’s anywhere, like in ever prison movie ever. Either way, I know that you’re supposed to know how long you’ve been locked up somewhere. This is totally not good. This place is close enough to a prison anyways I guess, I mean I’m locked up here because “I pose a serious threat to myself and others”, I sound dangerous enough. Depressed teenager, skin head neo-nazi, there really isn’t too much difference is there? Unless were sentenced for life your really just delaying the inevitable.
I’ll die the same way some innocent dude will get murdered, there really isn’t too much difference unless your looking for one.
My hands are trembling a little and I can feel the skin on my arms stretched into goose bumps. Also I think I’m crying a little, or at least I can feel my cheeks getting hot.
It’s a good thing I’m alone on my bed, because no doubt I’m a wreck. I’m starting to breathe to hard, but it feels like I can’t control my breathing.
Like on fucking queue a face pops around the corner in the room, and I jump a little bit. How can the nurses not even knock…? She says,
“You have visitors.” And leaves, so I don’t even get the chance to ask who it is. I’m guessing this is on purpose, so I’ll actually say hi to my family.
Sure enough, in the visiting room sit 3 familiar faces.
“Hey everyone.” I say, waiving to my mom, to my dad, to my little sister Evie. I know they brought the 4 year old to make me feel guilty. Well that or visiting their mentally ill son didn’t merit calling a babysitter, you never know.
“Oh honey you look awful!” My mom says and stands up. Oh, not to give me a hug or anything, but to pat down my bed head. Appearances are always important…
“Hey son.” My dad says with an awkward little hand raise from his seated position. I guess the awkwardness is something I defiantly got from good old dad.
“Will!” my sister screams and runs to hug me by the waist. Finally someone’s reaction is even halfway welcoming. I can’t help but smile and squat down, so I’m sitting on my heels, and hug the adorable little girl.
“So how’s it going?” My dad asks as I sit down. Evie sits next to me, squishing her legs into mine to be as close as possible without sitting in my lap. I do love her.
“Pretty great.” I say sarcastically after looking around at the cold hospital décor.” I hear they’re putting in a fun slide next week.”
“Really!?” Evie shrieks from my side, suddenly excited.
“Totally!” I say laughing, “But it’s only in the grown up part, I’m not allowed.” I say with a fake frown.
“Awwwwww!” she says dropped her head in honest disappointment. The childlike innocence of a little kid, it’s almost too cute.
“Oh, relax, I’m sure a nice vacation in a hospital getting waited on hand and goot can’t be that bad.” He says.
“Yea I’d kill for a break.” My mom says, still sorting through the mess that is my hair.
“I’m sorry, I’d forgotten how amazing this place is. Like the air lock doors and barred bedroom windows, freaking luxurious. You guys know so much more about this place then me.” I’m just below the yell threshold when I say it, and getting dangerously closer and closer. If it weren’t for the exact current situation they’d be screaming livid, but the manage to fake sincerity.
“Well, I hate to leave so soon, but we were just stopping by on the way to dinner.” My dad says and stands up to leave, rushing things so no one screams. He turns around and starts to walk away. Evie gives me a quick hug and my mom says a quick good bye before she follows.
I’m pretty sure that’s the most authority I’ve ever seen my dad show.
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot.” She says turning around at the door. “I called Eric and Tammy, they’re in the waiting room.” And she steps through the door.
I look down and sharply whisper, “Shit!”
I’ll die the same way some innocent dude will get murdered, there really isn’t too much difference unless your looking for one.
My hands are trembling a little and I can feel the skin on my arms stretched into goose bumps. Also I think I’m crying a little, or at least I can feel my cheeks getting hot.
It’s a good thing I’m alone on my bed, because no doubt I’m a wreck. I’m starting to breathe to hard, but it feels like I can’t control my breathing.
Like on fucking queue a face pops around the corner in the room, and I jump a little bit. How can the nurses not even knock…? She says,
“You have visitors.” And leaves, so I don’t even get the chance to ask who it is. I’m guessing this is on purpose, so I’ll actually say hi to my family.
Sure enough, in the visiting room sit 3 familiar faces.
“Hey everyone.” I say, waiving to my mom, to my dad, to my little sister Evie. I know they brought the 4 year old to make me feel guilty. Well that or visiting their mentally ill son didn’t merit calling a babysitter, you never know.
“Oh honey you look awful!” My mom says and stands up. Oh, not to give me a hug or anything, but to pat down my bed head. Appearances are always important…
“Hey son.” My dad says with an awkward little hand raise from his seated position. I guess the awkwardness is something I defiantly got from good old dad.
“Will!” my sister screams and runs to hug me by the waist. Finally someone’s reaction is even halfway welcoming. I can’t help but smile and squat down, so I’m sitting on my heels, and hug the adorable little girl.
“So how’s it going?” My dad asks as I sit down. Evie sits next to me, squishing her legs into mine to be as close as possible without sitting in my lap. I do love her.
“Pretty great.” I say sarcastically after looking around at the cold hospital décor.” I hear they’re putting in a fun slide next week.”
“Really!?” Evie shrieks from my side, suddenly excited.
“Totally!” I say laughing, “But it’s only in the grown up part, I’m not allowed.” I say with a fake frown.
“Awwwwww!” she says dropped her head in honest disappointment. The childlike innocence of a little kid, it’s almost too cute.
“Oh, relax, I’m sure a nice vacation in a hospital getting waited on hand and goot can’t be that bad.” He says.
“Yea I’d kill for a break.” My mom says, still sorting through the mess that is my hair.
“I’m sorry, I’d forgotten how amazing this place is. Like the air lock doors and barred bedroom windows, freaking luxurious. You guys know so much more about this place then me.” I’m just below the yell threshold when I say it, and getting dangerously closer and closer. If it weren’t for the exact current situation they’d be screaming livid, but the manage to fake sincerity.
“Well, I hate to leave so soon, but we were just stopping by on the way to dinner.” My dad says and stands up to leave, rushing things so no one screams. He turns around and starts to walk away. Evie gives me a quick hug and my mom says a quick good bye before she follows.
I’m pretty sure that’s the most authority I’ve ever seen my dad show.
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot.” She says turning around at the door. “I called Eric and Tammy, they’re in the waiting room.” And she steps through the door.
I look down and sharply whisper, “Shit!”