I Was Just Looking For A Way Out...
Chapter 2
The walls are way too clean... Nothing should ever be that clean, it's just unnatural. The floor is polished and reflecting everything. It's just not healthy. Okay it may be physically healthy, but not mentally.
Because I'm an expert on maintaining perfect health...
I don’t really know what happened between coffee and now, but for some reason I feel like a total sell out and a bit of a failure. Okay, that was a lie, I know exactly what happened, and let me just congratulate the hospital cleaning crew. They really know how to make a guy feel cared for.
So I don’t know if the coffee just woke me up enough to realize that I’m afraid of heights, but suddenly jumping off a building didn’t seem like such a good idea. Well actually the idea didn’t seem any worse, just a lot less practical. You know seeing as I puked when I got to the railing.
With jumping out of the picture I needed another plan. To be honest I’d only settled on jumping because of the dramatic beauty it had. You know, not so much when they’re scraping me off the sidewalk with snow shovels, but as I’m falling. Of course I’m imagining it in super awesome slo-mo but still. Anyway, with jumping out of the picture, I didn’t have that many options that met up to my high drama queen standards.
Fuck “The Beauty of Death” I should have just ran into freeway traffic. Of course I had to shoot for the stars for just once in my life, so I decided to bleed out. That’s emo enough right? Picture it, little emo kid slowly bleeding to death, alone on a rooftop at 7:30 in the cold grey morning. Well midnight would have been better, but good luck getting onto a rooftop then… Also I’m pretty impatient; right down to the end.
So my dumb fuck little self pulled out a razor, one that I of course am emo enough to carry in my wallet, and cut a nice straight line across my wrist.
“Wait… you go across for sad down for the kill right…? Across the river your okay, down and drown…. Or something?” I’m really stupid enough that I say this out loud. So now I cut down, and it makes a little cross. I’ve never been religious, at all, but I have to admit it looked kinda cool with the blood spilling over onto my skin the way it was.
Well it looked cool until the department store clerk went up to the roof for a smoke break that is. Kind of ruined the mood when she came up and screamed, but hell it helped with the whole drama thing I was looking for. My first and only reaction was to play dead while she called 911. Somewhere between then and when the paramedics actually showed up I really did pass out.
Then I wake up here. Then I threw up. That would be where the lovely cleaning crew entered the picture. Then it was now.
Why they leave someone who literally JUST tried to kill himself alone in an examination room is kind of beyond me, but here I am, alone, and waiting for something to happen.
Because I'm an expert on maintaining perfect health...
I don’t really know what happened between coffee and now, but for some reason I feel like a total sell out and a bit of a failure. Okay, that was a lie, I know exactly what happened, and let me just congratulate the hospital cleaning crew. They really know how to make a guy feel cared for.
So I don’t know if the coffee just woke me up enough to realize that I’m afraid of heights, but suddenly jumping off a building didn’t seem like such a good idea. Well actually the idea didn’t seem any worse, just a lot less practical. You know seeing as I puked when I got to the railing.
With jumping out of the picture I needed another plan. To be honest I’d only settled on jumping because of the dramatic beauty it had. You know, not so much when they’re scraping me off the sidewalk with snow shovels, but as I’m falling. Of course I’m imagining it in super awesome slo-mo but still. Anyway, with jumping out of the picture, I didn’t have that many options that met up to my high drama queen standards.
Fuck “The Beauty of Death” I should have just ran into freeway traffic. Of course I had to shoot for the stars for just once in my life, so I decided to bleed out. That’s emo enough right? Picture it, little emo kid slowly bleeding to death, alone on a rooftop at 7:30 in the cold grey morning. Well midnight would have been better, but good luck getting onto a rooftop then… Also I’m pretty impatient; right down to the end.
So my dumb fuck little self pulled out a razor, one that I of course am emo enough to carry in my wallet, and cut a nice straight line across my wrist.
“Wait… you go across for sad down for the kill right…? Across the river your okay, down and drown…. Or something?” I’m really stupid enough that I say this out loud. So now I cut down, and it makes a little cross. I’ve never been religious, at all, but I have to admit it looked kinda cool with the blood spilling over onto my skin the way it was.
Well it looked cool until the department store clerk went up to the roof for a smoke break that is. Kind of ruined the mood when she came up and screamed, but hell it helped with the whole drama thing I was looking for. My first and only reaction was to play dead while she called 911. Somewhere between then and when the paramedics actually showed up I really did pass out.
Then I wake up here. Then I threw up. That would be where the lovely cleaning crew entered the picture. Then it was now.
Why they leave someone who literally JUST tried to kill himself alone in an examination room is kind of beyond me, but here I am, alone, and waiting for something to happen.