I Mean Nothing To You

I looked over at the clock for the thousandth time. It was six fifteen in the evening already and Aaron was supposed to have been here at six. I sighed and looked everything over again. It's October 31st which not only means Halloween, it also marks mine and Aaron's one year anniversary. I made his favorite thing to eat which was chicken nuggets and ranch ashed potatoes. Not very romantic but that's his favorite so I made it. I had a bunch of blankets and pillows in front of the T.V so that after we finished eating, we could watch his favorite movie which happened to be Space Balls. Once again, not romantic at all but he's not a romance kind of guy if you haven't noticed already.

A light knock at the door made me jump out of my seat on the couch and run to the door. I straightened my clothes and threw the door open with a huge smile on my face.
'Sorry I'm late, baby.' He grinned and handed me a rose. I smiled even larger and took the rose from him, giving him a huge hug as well. I buried my face in his neck and kissed it.
'It's okay! Thankyou for the rose, babe!' I pulled away and grabbed his hand, pulling him into my apartment and closing the door behind us.
'No problem. You deserve way more then that though.'
I grinned at him as I set the rose down on the counter. 'I have you and that's all I need.'
He took me in his arms again and placed a soft kiss on my lips. After a moment, he pulled away and sniffed the air.
'I smell nuggets..' He stated.
'They're your favorite so I made them! Along with ranch mashed potatoes. I know you don't like romantic stuff so I just made your favorites instead of a cliche meal like steak and a baked potatoe with a desert of chocolate covered strawberries or something like that.'
He chuckled and kissed me again.
'I never said I don't like chocolate covered strawberries..Though, I would rather eat the chocolate off of you.' He playfully nipped my neck, making me blush. He trailed kisses up my neck and jaw, making his way to my lips. His tongue slipped into my mouth as he placed his hands on either side of my face, stroking my cheeks lightly with his thumbs. I moaned softly and hooked my fingers in his belt loops, pulling him closer. I felt a chuckle vibrate through him and he removed his mouth from my own.
'I love you.'
'I love you too, Aaron.'
He smiled and kissed my nose making me giggle and scrunch it up.
'Let's eat.' I said, remembering the things I made.

We got seated at the table and began eating, talking about various things. We mostly talked about memories from our year of being together though.
'I remember how nervous I was to ask you out.' He said around a mouthful of potatoes. 'I thought you would say no for sure.' He chuckled at the memory. I remembered it crystal clear.

There had been moments when I thought he would ask for sure and then he would end up asking what my favorite kind of was or something like that. Then when he finally asked, he was a stuttering mess. I found it to be completely adorably since I had never seen him so nervous before. I loved the fact that he was only nervous like that because he feared not having me, I mean, no one else had ever cared enough about me to want to stay with me for any amount of time. They had all cheated on me or dumped me once they figured out I wasn't going to have sex with them. But not Aaron, no, he's stuck with me for a whole year and our relationship is going perfect.

'You know, I almost chickened out of asking you out again when I finally did it.' He stated.
'Well I'm glad you didn't because I was starting to think you would never ask.'
'I'm glad I did too.' He smiled as he finished his last chicken nugget. 'You all done?'
I nodded and stood up, taking our plates to the sink and rinsing them off.

I grabbed his hand and he followed me to the living room. He practicly ran to the blankets and pillows making himself comfy right away while I got the movie in. He whistled and smacked my butt as I bent over, causing me to shoot straight up and playfully glare at him. He put a look of innocense on his face as if he didn't do anything.
'Mhm, sure. You just go ahead and look all innocent but I know how you are.' I poked my tongue out at him before returning to my task of getting the movie started.

After everything was ready, I dimmed the lights and got curled up against Aaron. He pulled me closer to him and pulled the blankets up around us. I smiled and kissed his clothed chest, snuggling my head into him.

The movie was about half way through but neither of us really noticed since we had been in a hardcore make-out session for most of the movie so far. I was on top of him, dragging my nails down his now shirtless torso. He was rubbing both of our crotches, enticing lovely moans from us both. I disconnected our mouths creating a pop and stared down at him with infinite amounts of love and adoration filling my eyes. He smiled back up and me and moved his head slightly so he could see me better.

I furrowed my brows and stared at a mark on his neck. I leaned forward and noticed it was a hicky. My brain worked hard trying to think of the last time I gave him a hicky on his neck and I must say, it's been a long time. I normally give him hickies on his chest.
'What's this?' I asked, staring him straight in the eye and pointing to the mark.
'I, uh, I burned myself when I was straightening my hair the other day.' He laughed nervously. I knew he was lieing from the way his voice sounded and how he woudn't look me in the eyes.
'Don't lie to me Aaron. I know it's a hicky.'
'You're right..You gave it to me baby. Remember?' I narrowed my eyes at him. He's fucking cheating on me.
'No, I don't fucking remember. Please enlighten me as to when I gave you a hicky on your fucking neck.'
'I-It was last week..' I got off of him and stood up, glaring down at him. He stood up too, facing me.
'YOU'RE FUCKING CHEATING ON ME!!' I screamed, tears burning down my face.
He flinched away from my yelling and bowed his head. That was the only answer I needed.
'How long?!'
'Five months.' He whispered.
'Five fucking months of our fucking relationship was a lie?!'
His head shot up and he looked me in the eyes. 'No, I really do love you, baby!'
'Don't call me that.' I said, my voice dripping with acid. 'How can you say that when you've been cheating on me?! You obviously don't love me! I should have known you would turn out like everyone else! I fucking hate you!' I screamed the last sentance as more tears spilled down my face. The tears were any amount of love I had in me, pouring out and hatered taking its place in my heart.
'James, please. I'm sorry!'
'You're only sorry you got caught. Get the fuck out and never come back you piece of shit fucking liar.'

I knew my words had hurt him and that's exactly what I wanted. I want him to feel the pain he just caused me, the heart break. I could never give him that pain though, I know all too well what it feels like and I honestly wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.

He grabbed his shirt and got his shoes on, heading for the door. He looked back once more and whispered,
'I'm sorry, James. I love you.'
'GO TO HELL!'

He looked at my crying form for another moment before leaving. I screamed out loud again and threw a shoe at the door he had just exited. After staring at the door for a few more minutes, I collapsed on the couch, holding myself in a ball and sobbing into my knees.

I had loved him so much and I thought he truely loved me too, I thought he was the one. I thought he was the one that would love me forever, hold me when I cry, kill to make me happy, walk out in a kilt just tomake me laugh. I thought he was the one who would do all those things for the rest of our lives. But not anymore, he was one that I would despise forever now.

With more tears streaming down my face, I stumbled into the kitchen, grabbing the rose and a lighter. I stared at the rose a long moment, remembering what it felt like to feel loved, before setting it on fire. I sobbed even harder as the once beautiful flower, burned into black ash. The rose symbolized our relationship when he gave it to me and it symbolized our relationship now, blackened and dead along with my heart. My insides were crushed, my mind weak.

After the rose was a pile of ash, I tossed the lighter onto the counter and made my way to my bed. I collapsed on it and cried myself to sleep, alone and broken.