The Way You Lived Your Life

"Okay," Mike said, turning to me as he pulled into the road, "I'll drop you off."

"Where are you going?" I probably sounded frustrated to him.

I didn't want him being gone, leaving me at home, just waiting for hours, never knowing if he's coming back. He could choose to leave, just like that. I thought about it all the time, but he was around for so long. I convinced myself he wouldn't, but I still get anxious when he goes somewhere. After what I saw with our principal and that Karlee chick, I knew Mike definately is living a secretive life, outside of all the things I knew about him.

Not only that, but what our principal made it sound like, to me, is it's like a second world that has nothing good about it. Mike was getting threatened, and he came home from time to time with bruises. Every once in a while, he came back with his clothes all torn, and his face had several markings. I worried about him when I knew he could be somewhere getting thrown around like that. He managed to keep a lot hidden from me... Like this second world I didn't want to be brought into.

He sighed. "I can't keep this money." I knew what he meant.

"I know. I just didn't know you had to take it back alone."

"I don't, but I asked if you wanted to go home..."

He did, but I thought he meant the both of us go back. Even if I wasn't a fan of actually going, I still wanted to go to be with him to make sure he wasn't going to get himself into trouble. I bet he didn't want or need me going, though.

"I thought you meant to go home with you..."

He looked over at me, giving me a look like 'don't-go-there'. He also looked like he was in deeo thought. "I won't be gone long, Billie." He sighed.

"So? You think I like going home alone. It's fucking boring!" I think I pulled it off...

Mike smiled a little. "You can't manage a few minutes without me?"

I swallowed. If he was serious, I wanted to answer his question with what I really wished to tell him. I wanted to say, "After you came into it out of nowhere, I don't think I could manage life without you." He brought so much excitement to it, and I always had something to look forward to with him around.

"I just don't want to go home yet." I lied.

"So then don't. You can hang outside and wait-"

"Can I just fucking go?" I asked, bluntly.

His eyes widened, and he stared at me for a little bit. I knew he didn't want me to go. I guess I should have just gone home, went to bed, and tried not to worry about him. "I just don't get why you want to go if you know where I'm going..."

"That's why I want to go, " I admitted, looking away.

He probably figured it out now, but I guess I didn't care. He didn't say anything though. Instead, he just kept driving, slowly turning away from me, and went past the street to my house. I got my way, but now I couldn't help but to feel unwelcome.

It was silent the whole time, and I didn't even get one little word out of Mike, even if I had said something myself. He finally pulled up in front of that Karlee girl's house, and ran right to the fence on the side of her house. He hopped it, and that's when I started to question where he was really going.

I got out, once he disappeared over the fence, and walked toward the fence he hopped over. I felt like I was stalking him, like he didn't even know I had come with at all. I was about to peek over when I saw only his head come up again, then instantly drop back down. He had gone over another fence from Karlee's back yard.

I still wanted to know who she was and why he was involved with that lady. She seemed cool, and I could tell she was a mom and had a husband, but what did she have to do with Mike? I guess it was his sister or someone related to him, but he never mentioned having any siblings. I guess she was just some lady...

I guess she heard Mike and came out. I didn't even hear the front door open and close. "Billie?" I heard her say. I was quick to turn to my left and spot her on the porch. I felt nervous, like I had just done something wrong.

"Yea?" I asked, slowly walking toward her.

She had a smile on her face. "I wouldn't go over there if I were you."

"Oh, I-I wasn't..."

She raised an eye brow, obviously wondering what I was doing then. She probably didn't believe me. "You're watching out for Mike." She stated, and it was true.

I swallowed hard. "I was just seeing where he was going..."

"It's weird he has to hop the fence, huh?" She asked, taking another drag off her cigarette.

"I was wondering that," I told her, getting to the porch now.

"He's not supposed to go to the front door. It's suspicious that way."

I tried not to laugh. "And hopping fences into the backyard looks normal?"

She laughed, and I had to join in too. I was still anxious though.

"I was thinking the same thing. It never made sense to me, but I guess no one cares..." She handed the cigarette out to me, subliminally asking if I had wanted any. For some reason, I took it and inhaled lightly. I was quick to blow the nasty taste out of my mouth. I didn't want to cough though.

I glanced back over at the house where Mike was, and turned back to Karlee slowly.

"He'll be right back," she assured me, making me feel stupid like she knew exactly what I was doing. "You like him don't you?" She asked, completely stumping me. I didn't know what to say.

"He's a good friend..." I trailed off. She kept smiling, like she was reading my mind or something. I knew what she meant, but acting dumb was probably my safest bet. I didn't want to be so open about my secretive love for Mike, especially to someone that was more on the other side of Mike's life. I couldn't trust his friend with something only I knew.

"How so?" She asked, looking like she already knew it had to have been something more than just liking him as a friend.

My heart was starting to beat fast, even just talking about him was getting me excited and nervous at the same time. I could only think of how he was somewhere I didn't feel comfortable with him being, and that I wouldn't know if something bad was about to happen. Just thinking that he could be getting more of his random bruises, at the very moment, was enough to distract me.

The conversation Karlee was starting was enough to make me alert of everything being said, especially from my mouth. He could be around any second, or just beyond the fence listening in. Not just that, but I was on the verge of cracking. Holding in my feelings for someone only made the intense feeling in my stomach worse.

"Well, he's the only one I feel comfortable being myself around."

"Alright. That's good, but I mean do you like him?"

I didn't understand why she was trying to get this out of me. Why it all mattered to her. I just stood in confusion, not knowing if it made the answer look obvious. I wasn't sure of what to say.

"Mike isn't like that." I tried to answer quickly.

"Like what?" She kept it going.

I didn't know how to answer her question. It was obvious anyway. I just glanced to my side, trying to see over the fence, waiting to see him hop over it and come back where I knew I wouldn't have to worry. I'm sure she figured out where I was looking and why.

"You guys will have fun at the party," She started, smiling again, obviously excited about leaving, "you're going, right?"

I wanted to, sure. I just wasn't sure how it would be. I'd never been to a party, and with Mike, I wouldn't know what kind of party it would turn out to be. Not knowing the types of people there, and not knowing anyone but Mike would be hard. I only hoped it wasn't Mike's crowd of people that would be coming.

That was the one thing I was confused about. With Karlee so sure a party was happening, was it her guests she invited? Or was Mike supposed to, because I hadn't seen him talk to anyone about it.

I'm sure all the stoners would come if one word slipped out of Mike's mouth at school, and the grunge kids would end up coming too. Most of the kids who like to drink and doing stuff they're not allowed to around parents would be there, follwed by the preppy girls and guys who just liked going to parties to have sex.

That's how if worked, and I knew if Mike said one word to anyone about a party, it would get around. Maybe he already did talk, and I just wasn't aware.

"If there really is one," I joked.

"Of course there is. Mike said he got it handled." She told me, and that's when I knew it was probably supposed to be a quiet thing around me. Maybe Mike didn't want me going, since the party would be right next to the Tom guy's house. I wasn't trusting the sounds of it anyway, but I did want to go.

If Mike was going, I would want to make sure he didn't wind up in trouble, making it to where I wouldn't know until I saw him next. I was looking for an excuse to drink and smoke anyway, though. Surely people would be brining alchol.

Before I could speak, we heard a noise like a door slamming from the house next to Karlee's. I hoped it was Mike coming back. Still, I wondered why he'd slam the door, of if someone shut it on him. I waited until I saw hands reach up and grasp the fence to know it was him.

He hopped back over and he saw me, instantly, probably wondering why I was out of the car, talking to his friend. She was quick to say hi, though, and he didn't act like he had a problem or anything. Something just had him on edge.

"What's up, dude?" Karlee asked Mike, sitting down on one of the chairs on her porch. Mike walked and stood beside me, putting his hands in his back pockets.

"He heard about the party."

Karlee's face twisted a little, then she left a puzzled look on her face. "I don't think I told him. But what's the problem? He's wanting to go?"

Mike nodded his head, and I already didn't like it. "He says he's got nothing to do this weekend, and he can't have a party if there's one right next door, or some shit like that."

Karlee shook her head. "I don't know if I want him in my house, Mike. Are you sure you didn't tell him?"

Mike looked disbeliving that she'd even ask him that. "Hell no! Do you think I need that bullshit at my party?"

"Who's coming anyway," I chimed in, hoping I didn't really interupt.

He turned his head to me, almost like he forgot I was even there. "Some kids from school." I nodded my head, showing him I understood and he turned back to Karlee. "I don't want him to come." said firmly.

"Then you tell him," Karlee said, not sounding too mad about it.

Miek nodded his head. "I gotta get going for now, though." He turned to me, smiling, "This guy has a certain bed time," he said, putting his arm around me.

"Fuck you," I laughed, "my mom wouldn't even care if I didn't come back til tomorrow."

"So you're suggesting you want to sleep outside," He laughed, slowly walking back to his car. I followed, happy he was in a good enough mood at least.

"Maybe I'll make a tent out of blankets in your room so I can sleep in there." I said, laughing, thinking of how fun it used to be doing that as a kid.

"Am I allowed inside, or is it a 'Girls Only' thing?"

I punched him in the arm before we split up so he could get into his car from the other side. He laughed, and I didn't even feel bad if I hurt him a little. I kept smiling, glad he was in such a playful mood out of nowhere.

It was sort of quiet on the way back, though. I figured maybe he was mad again, or he had just remembered something he didnt want to. It really wasn't any of my business, but I still wondered. I got curious about Mike, then again, I didn't want to know everything about him. I wouldn't like the most of what I found out, garaunteed.

Still, I wanted to know what he was thinking about. By looking at him though, I didn't want it to be about me. He looked a little nervous, but I wasn't sure. He just didn't look like he was in the best of moods anymore.

"So," I sarted, and he glanced over at me, "...what are we going to do at my house?"

He looked back over at me, this time stopping for a few seconds, instead of turning his head right back. Once he looked forward again, I saw he opened his mouth to speak. He looked the same for several minutes. I guessed he was thinking of what to say, or how to word something he wanted to say.

"I have something to do."

I didn't look back at him once he said it. "Like what?"

He didn't look over at me, either. "Something I need to get done before tonight."

How? I thought he basically took care of everything he had to do tonight. He pretty much opened the door to his life, just for the day, allowing me to know pretty much a run down of everything. Just out of nowhere, though, he has more plans. Unbelievable.

I guess it makes sense that they're plans that he didn't have to tell anyone about, and he just had an agenda in his head all day. This time, I didn't get to see what was next on the list of "Things To Do Today". I could already tell I wasn't invited to wherever it is he had to go.

"You're taking me home then?" At this point, I didn't care if he wanted to go by himself or not. I guess I was bothering him... or he just really couldn't have me go with him this time. I would be fine with it.

He looked over at me, finally, "Just for a little bit." He looked, and sounded, sincere.

"Alright," I told him, looking ahead of us, watching the yellow lines coming at us quickly, like we were in a game of Astroids, but the spaceship kept missing us everytime.

I distracted myself so he wouldn't think I was all bummed out because I couldn't go with him or something. It kept my mind off of him, too. Long enough to get me to the point of my driveway. Once he pulled up next to the curb, I had my hand on the handle.

Before he let me just get out and go, he had me look back over at him. "Hey, Billie." Once I turned back to him, he was leaning toward my seat. I had the door open though, with one of my legs out. "I won't be gone long."

Why did he have to let me know that? I was trying to act like I didn't mind. "Okay," I said, slowly getting out of the car. Once I shut the door, I looked into the window, and he was still bent over the middle of his car.

"Don't fall asleep, okay?" He told me, unexpctedly.

"Why?" I had to ask, but the tone I asked it in made it sound a little rude.

He had a smile on his face now. "I still wanna hang with you tonight."

My heart kicked at that. I didnt want to get my hopes up though. I never knew if he would be gone for hours, come home too late, just in time for me to be pissed off at him. I didn't want that to happen, so I was already preparing myself for him to be gone a while. It made me feel better that way.

"We will," I told him, smiling back, hoping it really would happen, even if I figured it wouldn't.

He smiled as I back up, and he was quick to drive away. All of a sudden he was in a hurry, and by the time I got inside my house, it was only half an hour til ten. It wasn't too late.

I sighed as I walked into his room, then sat on his bed. I turned on the T.V. and flipped through channels for several minutes. It was already extremely boring, and it had only been around 5 minutes that I'd been home. My mom didn't see me come in, so I was quick to dodge into the garage before she came down the stairs.

When I finally found something to watch that was at least tolerable, I decided to lay down on Mike's bed. One side of my face sunk into his pillow, and instantly I could smell him. I closed my eyes and breathed in just through my nose, wishing I could be that close to Mike. Close enough to smell his hair, that always smelled like some sort of shampoo that was in my bathroom, and a mixture of weed and some other scent that could only come from him.

I wanted to hold him tightly, but not over something insane. I want it to be because he wants to hold me back, just wanting to be in each other's arms. The only time I've gotten to hold him, or even hug him, was when something bad just happened. Like the whole thing with the school principal.

I sat up a little, enough to fix positions so I could actually see the t.v. and noticed a pack of cigarettes on the floor. They weren't the kind Mike smoked, so I knew they were my step dad's. I didn't like that he came in Mike's room to smoke, knowing Mike had certain things hidden in there.

The good thing was the smell, though. If that was the spot my step dad picked to smoke, there would be no questions asked about the smell of the garage when Mike and I smoked in there. Not that my mom would really give a care. I just hated how he barged in to any part of the house, thinking it belonged to him or something.

I stole one of his cigarettes though, laughing at my quiet revenge on the man. One little cigarette was nothing compared to what I wanted to do though. Still, one of them could calm me down enough to just relax in Mike's room until he got back.

They were at the end of the bed, like my mom's husband had been sitting on the edge of it while he worked his way into getting lung cancer in Mike's room. I had to sit up, fully, and reach over the edge trying to grab them. I was being lazy about it, but I still managed to get them. I had no idea when he was going to come back, remembering his cigarettes were in here. Boredom was enough to make me not care about that, though. My mom would believe me over him any day.

Smoke rose to the ceiling as I stared up, watching it all come off the cigarette almost had me in a daze. I stayed focused on Mike, if he was coming back, though. I thought, "No way could my mom think I was smoking out here." I also thought, "Mike had to be back soon." For some reason, I just had my mind set on him coming back...

One more inhale of cigarette smoke had me relaxed enough to ust lay down and watch whatever was on. I was 'light-weight' enough to convinvce myself I was still stoned, already feeling it more intensely over the tabacco. Mike being with me just would have made it better. I didn't want to wait for him any longer, especially if all I had was my room, or his room with nothing to do but smoke my step dad's cigs.

Smoking his cigarettes would have to do, because what Mike said got me excited. I didn't want to wait for him, like I always seemed to do when he left, but I was interested to know what he had to do tonight, after everything else I already saw him plan. I needed to know what I wasn't allowed to do with him, yet I knew I was better off not knowing. He most likely wouldn't tell me anyway.

I was confused, trying to act like I didn't give a shit. No matter what, I still wanted Mike with me to make the lonely feeling go away. Only he could lately, and even at school. Adrienne started pulling away again, once she saw me and Mike so close. I'm sure she didn't like him, but I couldn't help my insane feelings about him. There was no other explaination why I was with him all the time.

To others, it seemed like I might have finally found the type of person I clicked with best, and to everyone else, I was just a poser. I didn't care as long as I was friends with the most intimidating guy at school. As long as he could tolerate the school thing this time. He was the one hanging out with me too. It wasn't just me following some guy around to make myself look like I was a badass, like Mike. Mike and I were actually just two guys who just so happened to be friends.

We had the punk thing going for us, though. Everyone else had their clique, and some were still wandering between the groups, trying to decide what they wanted to be. Mike and I automatically got put into the punk group, which was small. Judged by how we dressed and acted, like we didn't give a shit, everyone considered us that way. Still, the stoners and grunge guys were gradually meshing in with what everyone had thought about me, and Mike, already. Now it had to have been known that we were the stoner punk kids.

I was fine with that.

No one could know how I felt about Mike though. It might have looked odd, just two guys going around together, without anyone else, but we wanted it that way. Not looking suspicious, but not having anyone else trying to claim they were apart of what me and Mike had. It wasn't us trying to be something, we just ended up being called what we did. It was really just me and Mike.

Me and Mike.

I smiled at the thought. It would be awkward at first, but Mike would get used to it. We both would, and then it would get to the point where we could go around, knowing what we were. It wouldn't be like a typical romance where holding hands, kissing, and hugging was done about every second. Mike and I would still act the same way, just with a lot more benefits. A lot more benefits that only we got to have, away from everyone.

Sadly, if it came down to it, Mike would for sure be the guy in the relationship. It made me laugh to myself, thinking of how it would play out. Seeing the image of him holding my waist from behind, and doing all the cute things you see guys doing with their girlfriends, he wouldn't know what to do being with a guy. As cheesy as it sounds, I wouldn't mind him doing all that cute stuff, but knowing how awkward it would be was the thing making me laugh.

Mike would never be mine, though. I already knew it, so it was stupid of me to just keep on thinking of the things I did. The crazy things I aspired would never come true, but it didn't hurt to think "what if" ...if I couldn't actually have him.

I wanted Mike in several ways, mostly just where he could know how I felt without it being weird. I wanted to be able to grab ahold of him at any given moment, sneak in a quick kiss, and just look into his eyes. Even if I couldn't call him my boyfriend, I wanted him to know how much I loved him, getting to the point where it wouldn't be weird if I got caught staring at him.

Then there was the ways where I felt like a pervert. He was my best friend, but I'm not going to lie and say I never thought of him in that way. Thoughts of Mike and I doing things to each other, and together, crossed my mind often. It's not like it's all I thought about, but when I had alone time, usually in the shower, I would.

I'm not going to deny masturbation, because it had always been one of my favorite things to do, but thinking of Mike made it better. I felt like a creep for thinking of my friend and I like that, but he would never know what went on inside my head. Just like I would never know most of the things about him.

The twenty minutes gone by of laying on Mike's bed, thinking things I probably shouldn't have felt like they went by slowly without him around, but I always had something to kill time. Because, I was alone, on his bed, and he was the one who had left me to bask in boredom. Thinking of him in the way I was wasn't exactly helping my situation either.

My thoughts were on Mike standing in front of me, slowly pulling his shirt off. He had a smirk on his face, never taking his captivating blue eyes off of me. If it were really happening, it would have taken all my effort to keep my hands off of him, but where this was a fantasy of mine, I could control what he did. His pants were coming off next.

I had my eyes closed, sprawled out on Mike's bed, with my cigarette out on the ground. I kept the scene playing in my head, and wether I wanted it to or not, I started to feel a tightening sensation. It was begging me for attention within minutes of my sick thoughts continuing. My hand urged itself down my body, almost like it was moving on its own.

Mike was holding himself over me, and I pictured him kissing my neck, rubbing my bare chest with his free hand. By the time his hand reached right where I wanted it to, my hand reached its destination. Soon, I had my hand down my pants, touching myself to what I wished could really happen. Pretending wasn't as good, but it would do.

Maybe I should have been more cautious with the spot I picked to do it, but I had no idea when Mike was coming back. I thought I had enough time, so I went for it. It made it better to be in his bed, like I was doing it behind his back. It felt more exciting.

I was quiet about it though. Tempting as it was, I didn't want to moan Mike's name, just to have him walk in right at that moment. I breathed quietly and let a few moans slip out to myself, making sure that wouldn't happen.

Mike's POV

I really hadn't planned on being gone long. It was taking longer than I wanted it to, picking out the right one for Billie. I finally found it though, and once it was in my car, I couldn't wait to get back to him. He wouldn't know what to think of it, but I was anxious to see the look on his face.

He wouldn't be asleep, because of his insomnia, but I had no idea what he would be doing. Hopefully he'd already be in my room, watching t.v. or something. I felt bad leaving him there by himself, but I really didn't want him seeing what I was doing.

It might be suspicious that I even did it, but I knew he was going to like it. Once I pulled into his driveway, I grabbed the black bag the guy put it in, and carefully held it as I walked toward the door. It was heavy, and pretty expensive. I at least wanted him to see it and use it before it ever got dropped and shattered.

The green was what stood out most, though. It was like a smooth, spiraling green smoke, all over the glass. It was just like his eyes, though. The perfect shade of green, and it had the same ability to hold a gaze. I stopped to look at that specific one for at least three minutes, deciding how much I liked it, but not sure if I should spend the extra cash it would cost me.

The other ones I looked at, thinking of getting him, were all nice, and not too much, but I couldn't turn down the green one. It was thirty bucks more, and completely worth it.

I probably had the biggest smile on my face walking out of the store with it, just like I did walking into his house. The feeling in my stomach was pretty intense, being so anxious for the look on Billie's face when I gave it to him. I wanted to see it so badly.

I didn't want to wake up anyone in the house, so I quietly turned the knob to my bedroom door, and opened it slowly as possible. I wanted to sneak up on Billie. I tried not to laugh or giggle the whole time I inched into the room.

When I peeked my head around the corner though, I was transfixed. I didn't dare move, because I knew how awkward he would feel, yet I so badly wanted to laugh and make him feel that way on purpose. It was a very nice sight though. I didn't want to look away, even if I could've.

He was on my bed, laying down, with his back slightly arched. His head was thrown back, and it was obvious as to why his hand was down his pants. I could hear his heavy breathing that he tried to quiet down and almost wanted to put my own hand down my pants.

If he were to see me though, it would have been very awkward. He had no idea about my newly found feelings for him. He'd think I was making fun of him or something, after, and he would end up leaving the room.

I wasn't going to stand around and watch anymore, but I wasn't going to make my presence known, either. Instead, I turned around, as much as I wanted to watch him, and snuck back out into the living room. I figured the best way to go about it was to knock on my door, acting like I had just got there. He would never know.

I tapped the metal door with my two knuckles three times, then waited a few seconds until I opened the door. I walked in, saying his name, like I didn't know if he was in there or not, then I saw him on the bed, facing the t.v. like he hadn't been doing anything.

I could see his chest rise and fall pretty quickly, though. His face was a little flushed, and I tried not to laugh at the buldge in his crotch. I had the bag, with Billie's gift, behind my back, and I slowly walked toward the bed.

Billie's POV

"Hey," Mike said, sitting down at the corner of the bed. "Whatcha doin?"

I swallowed, trying to calm my breathing. He had almost just walked in on me doing the one thing I didn't want him to see me doing. I was enthused with myself for getting away with it. "Trying to find something on t.v..."

"Oh, well... was I gone too long?" Mike was facing me now. I didn't have to pretend to be watching the t.v. anymore.

"No." I said and shook my head. "I'm just bored."

Mike's face lit up. "Do you want to do something fun then?"

I had a smile on my face now, too. "Knowing you're sense of fun, I'm not sure..."

He playfully hit me in the leg, "It's a yes or no question."

I grabbed my leg, pretending it hurt where he had hit me. "I can't talk," I said, rolling over, "I'm in too much pain!"

I heard Mike set something down on the floor, and I turned my head back to see what he was doing, but before I could, I was pinned down to the bed with Mike on top of me. He was laughing and trying to get back up to roll me over.

Mike had never been like that with me before, so I went along with it, and once I got onto my back, I pushed him back down onto the bed. Quickly, I got on top of him and held down his arms so he couldn't get me again. I was too distracted with laughing.

"So this is your idea of fun?" I asked him, as best as I could.

His body stopped writhing under me and he looked up at me with a smile. "You started it."

Before I could say something else, he pushed me off of him when I wasn't thinking about not letting him go. He was laughing with victory as he ran off the bed and stood as far away from me as possible. He forgot that he had left his bag though.

I picked it up carefully, and held it in the air, like I was going to drop it. He got serious in a matter of seconds.

"Billie," He said with an arm out, "please put that back down."

"Why?" I teased.

I could see he was getting edgy over the damn thing, so I made sure I kept a good grip on the black plastic. Mike was slowly stepping toward me, still with his hand out. Like he was going to attempt a quick grab at it before I dropped it. He had to have known I wouldn't have done that.

He didn't answer me; he just kept getting closer, and I slowly backed up. I was smiling, but Mike's eyes were focused on the bag. I could tell it was something important to him. Still, I considered dropping it on the bed so it wouldn't get damaged.

"Come on," Mike urged, standing real close to me, "just give it back."

"What is it?" I joked, and made it look like I was trying to peek inside of the bag.

He lunged forward at me, ripping the thing out of my hands and he hugged it tightly to his chest, then turned his back to me. Like he was checking on it or something.

"Sit down on the bed," He said not even seconds later. I couldn't help but to pull a face.

I really wanted to know what was inside now. So I sat on the bed and waited. He turned around instantly, and had his hand in the bag. His smile was back. Mine came back too, but I was really confused at this point.

"What is it?" I asked again.

He looked down at it, "I wasn't sure if it was the right one, but..." He trailed off, standing right in front of me. "...I got it for ya."

I was more than excited now. As soon as he handed the bag to me, I carefully pulled the bubble wrapped item out of the bag. Seeing how protective he was over the thing, I wanted to make sure I didn't do anything stupid.

I felt bad now, though. I was telling myself all about how he wasn't going to come back until way later, and how I convinced myself to not give a shit about it. Really, he was out getting me something. Unless it was a cover up... But, he did come back shortly after he left again.

I unwrapped the glass, already sure of what it was, judging by the size. After the first layer of bubble wrap was off, I was able to see the green. Once it was completely unwrapped, I was holding the coolest bong I had ever seen. And Mike got it for me. My smile wouldn't go away, and I could see Mike was happy about it.

"Wow," I said, turning it in my hands, "It's fucking awesome!"

"Yea," Mike said, sitting next to me, hands in his pockets, "so do you wanna use it then?"

"You have some?" I asked excitedly.

He didn't exactly answer me. He just smirked as he dug his hand into his pocket. I'm sure he had gotten some from Tom earlier, and I could see it was only enough for about two bowls. It was good enough, though. I was ready to feel the smoke in my mouth, slowly flowing out as soon as I parted my lips, leaving a delcious taste in the back of my throat. Then, I would calm down and feel like I had no problems in the world, right next to the most important person in my world.

I watched eagerly as Mike loaded the stem and grabbed his hand around my new bong. "Do you want me to fill it up?"

I almost didn't know what he meant by that, but once I realized what he was suggesting, I gladly took it. "Sure, it's mine, so I should do it first, right?"

I walked out to the side of the house, through the other door, which we hardly used, and filled the bottom with enough water. I had never had one before, and I have never even smoked out of a bong. I was so excited, but I didn't want Mike to know I had never done it out of one before. At least my first would be from him.

I walked back in, carefully, and set it down on the carboard box Mike used as a table. He put the stem in, full with the green happiness, then handed it to me. I put the stem into the side of the bong, into the little hole, and wasn't too sure what to do with it. I mean, I knew what to do, I just wasn't sure if I got to take the first hit out of my bong, or if Mike wanted it.

I went to hand it to Mike, but he shook his head. "No, you take greens."

I smiled and held it close to me as I leaned over the top, put my lips in the hole, and put the flame to the beautiful looking nug, crushed up into the bowl. I took my first hit, and I had never had so much smoke enter my lungs until that point. I was quick to nlow it out, and stupidly, I started to cough. I tried to hide my face when I couldn't stop.

Mike laughed and took the bong away from me, and went ahead to take his hit. He knew I was alright, because I just had to catch my breath. Still, I couldn't stop coughing, and once we heard the garage door open, my breathing stopped entirely.

Not only was there enough smoke to linger in the air, but the smell was potent, and it was clear what we had. I couldn't stop coughing long enough to see who it was, or to know if Mike had managed to at least hide the bong behind his legs. All I knew as that we probably would not be getting away with something like this. I could only hope it wasn't my step dad.