The Way You Lived Your Life

I finally fell asleep, I guess. Once my eyes opened and it was morning. For some reason, I woke up ten minutes before my alarm went off. It wasn't normal of me to do that, because every morning of my school years so far, I woke up half an hour passed the time I set my alarm, and I never got breakfast. For some reason, the morning after I really met Mike, I was up early, and I wasn't even tired.

It was like I was well rested, but I didn't remember even falling asleep.

I was too busy thinking of Mike all night long. I was so worried about him, and so excited to see him the next day. For some reason, I wanted to know him, and really get to know him well. I wanted us to be friends, and I had never wanted to be friends with anyone, unless it was 80 or an old pal Tre.

Even when I met Trè I didn't feel much like talking to him at all. He was strange, and very loud. He attracted a lot of attention, and for some reason, a lot of girls. He seemed the opposite of who I'd be friends with, but we were really good friends until he moved. For some reason, Berkeley wasn't treating his family all too well. It was the last I saw him though.

With Mike, I knew he could mess up, and easily get kicked out of this school too, but I figured if he had someone who wanted him around, he might do better. I wanted to try...

I slowly sat up, and lazily got out of bed. I turned my alarm off prematurely, and threw on some PJ's over my boxers, then went downstairs. Already I could smell coffee and my mom making toast. All my other siblings ate every morning, so my mom always made breakfast before they left. I never got up in time, so I knew they were going to be shocked when I was downstairs before everyone else.

"Good morning, mom," I said, getting into the fridge.

She turned back at me in awe, then instantly realized what I was doing. "Billie Joe Armstrong, you get out of that fridge right now! You don't get junk food in the morning when I'm over here making bacon and eggs..."

I laughed a little at my mom, and that's when her puzzled looks started up. I walked over to the table, to pour me a glass of juice and couldn't help but
smile, thinking of going to school and talking to Mike. He was already making school a little better for me.

Walking back to the fridge, my mom noticed I still had a smile on my face. When I sat down, I had no idea the questions were about to come at me.

"Billie, what has gotten into you?" My mom asked, turning around from slabbing eggs and bacon on a plate. She started walking towards me, looking like she was about to sit in front of me. "You haven't gotten up this early in years!"

I took the plate she handed me, and acted as if I didn't see her sit down. I just shoved a mouthful of eggs into my mouth and chewed quietly.

"...Not only that," my mom said, finally situated in her chair, "but you seem like you're in a real good mood- does this have anything to do with that boy?"

I could feel my cheeks get hot then. I so badly wanted to take my plate and eat in my room, but it wasn't allowed. I was stuck until the food was gone.

"I'm just glad I have a new friend and all," I said carefully.

"Uh, huh. So what exactly did you guys do yesterday?" She asked, looking real interested.

I sighed and remembered yesterday. I felt bad that I thought he was going to do anything to me like that. I felt stupid. I remembered something I needed to get done though, and unfortunately, this was the perfect and best time. "He... showed me where he lived." I said, trying to sound as sad as possible, all of a sudden. I wasn't sure if it was going to work; Mom didn't baby me much anymore.

"And?"

I tried to sound quiet still, "He lives in his car, mom."

"How do his parents do it?!" She asked, shocked.

"No, Mom, he lives by himself. In his car at the park..."

I took another bite and watched as her eyes grew wide. "Are you kiddin' me? How old is he?!"

I wasn't sure if my plan was working yet, but it was getting to the good part I was nervous for. "Seventeen," I remembered, "and he really does. It's sad."

I could tell my mom was concerned now. She didn't even know him, but she was the sweetest lady, and any friend of mine was instantly a part of her circle of caring too. I was only positive my plan was going to work now.

"Where are his parents? Doesn't he have anywhere he can go?"

"They basically sent him out on his own," I guessed, "and no, he just moved here. He's the new kid at school. I'm his only friend," I said sounding sadly.

"That's not right," she said quietly to herself, not even looking at me anymore.

"What if," I finally suggested, trying to make it sound as unplanned as possible, "Mike came and..."

"Stayed with us?" She asked quickly. "I should say I need to think on it, but... I just don't want to think about you all sad because your friend has no place to go." Mom went on, justifying her decision. "So, you go to school today and you tell him he's staying with us."

I couldn't hide my excitement, but my mom knew it was because of the news, not the fact that I secretly got my way out of quilting her. "Thank you mom!" I yelled as I grabbed my plate and dropped it in the sink. I hugged her, and with a mouth still full I went to go back to my room. "I need to get ready for school so I can tell Mike he's coming to stay with us!"

"Okay," My mom said with a little bit of laughter. "Don't miss the bus!"

After I rushed to get ready, and out the door to catch the bus, my stomach felt like it had more than a hundred butterflies in there. I was so excited to think of Mike living with me, but there was a chance he'd turn it down. He seemed like he was 'too cool' to accept an offer like that. I had no idea how it would turn out once the question came out.

Until I got to school; I had the best idea.

The whole day was like a regular day, except longer, because I was prolonging the question. I had a better one to ask now, surely resulting in Mike living with me, and my family. I knew he wasn't going to be out on the streets much longer, and I was happy about it, I just didn't like thinking of tricking him like I was about to.

At the end of the day, when I saw Mike waiting for me outside of my class, I knew he was in for a surprise. It wasn't going to happen as soon as I wanted it to, but it was going to eventually. I waited all day for it to happen, impatiently.

"Hey, Billie. Um, do you want a ride today?" He seemed like he was nervous a little. "Unless you want to take the bus..."

"Sure," I said excitedly, ignoring the fact I should be asking what's wrong, "Maybe you can stay and hang out for a little? You got nothing better to do." I dared.

He looked at me, as we were walking down the hall, like he wasn't sure if I was joking or being serious. "I-I guess. No one really wants to hang with me longer than five minutes, even after they get to know me."

He seemed off today. He definitely wasn't upbeat like he had been. He had a sad vibe about him today; a dull one.

I stayed silent, until we got into his car, to make sure no one listened to our conversations. I hadn't even noticed, or cared about all the kids staring at me as I walked with Mike, until I got into his car with him. They were watching us drive away, on the right side of the road now, and before long, they disappeared behind us.

"You know, I could hang out with you for more than five minutes." I joked. "Maybe even six..."

I noticed his smile was fake, but he was trying. "Six? That's a lot, and you don't even know me."

"I know you enough from yesterday." I said, hoping it wouldn't piss him off at all.

His mood seemed to change. "I wish I didn't show you. I shouldn't have said anything to you about me."

"Why?" I asked, feeling bad, like he didn't trust me or something.

"I never share anything with anyone. Yesterday was just...."

"What?" I urged.

"Nothing. I just don't think you need to, or would care about my life, so sorry for all of it. Forget it all."

I sat silent for about all of three seconds before keeping it going longer. "I didn't mind, and I still don't." I said quietly. "I'm your friend now."

He glanced at me, almost like what I said made him mad, or some sort of negative mood, but his eyes showed nothing but sadness. I was so confused.

"I wouldn't trust me," He mumbled. I heard what he said, but I could tell I wasn't supposed to. Instead, I let it go.

The car ride was real quiet for the rest of the way. Mike mumbled a thank you to my 'friendly comment', but that was all. It seemed like we were just waiting to be at my house to even say a word to each other again. It was weird.

He spoke when we got in my driveway, but it wasn't much. "Live with parents?"

"My mom and her boyfriend, who I hate," I whispered the last part walking through the door, "and my siblings."

He nodded his head, showing me he got it, then followed me to the stairs.

"We'll go to my room, because I don't want anyone coming in and annoying-" I was interrupted by a certain annoyance.

"Billie! Is this your friend you've been talking so much about?!" My mom said excitedly. I was worried on how Mike would react to this.

He smiled, and nodded his head towards my mom. "Billie talks about me then?" He laughed. He was good at the whole parent charade.

She giggled; I could tell she already adored Mike and would've suggested a butt-load of sleepovers if he was a childhood friend. "So it's Mike right?"

"Yes, Ma'am." He said.

"You can call me Ollie, and you're staying for dinner Mike. " My mom said with a huge smile. "Now go on up and see Billie's mess of a room, and I'll bring up some snacks."

Mike chuckled as he followed me up the stairs, quietly so my mom couldn't hear, but I could. "Clean your room, Bill." He said joking.

I huffed a laugh, then opened my door. "Here's my mess of a room..." I trailed off, walking in and setting my stuff down on my dresser. "There's not much to it, but it's a good place for me to write and play my guitar." I stated, like I was trying to auction off my room.

"Can I play?" Mike asked, sounding excited. "I haven't played guitar in a while."

"Sure." I said, grabbing my guitar Blue. He sat on the edge of my bed, and within seconds of holding my guitar he started a few quick riffs.

"That's Blue." I said looking down at him fingering the fret board. "I don't know how I'm being so trustworthy..."

"Don't you trust me with it?"

"It's not that," I said, and he kept playing, "I just wouldn't let anyone touch it. Now, here you are playing Blue..."

Luckily, he didn't try to dig deeper and pry out of me why that was. He probably understood though, I could tell by the way he looked at me. He knew there was a reason I hadn't wanted it touched, and it was obviously a personal one I didn't feel like discussing. Not that day.

We sat in my room, for what seemed to be hours and hours, just playing guitar, making up strange lyrics to go along. For once, I was having fun with someone else, still including music.

Before we could even start a new song to laugh at, my mom was knocking on my door for dinner. Mike looked eager to eat, whatever my mom was making, and I was impatient for my mom to bring up Mike living with us. I wouldn't have known she was saving a surprise for later too.

"So, Mike," My mom went on, "how are you liking it here?"

Something in his eyes lit, and I couldn't put my finger on it. He sounded sincere when he spoke to my mom. "Actually, your son is the only person who has even dared speak to me, let alone sit with me at lunch, or invite me to his house."

"Oh I'm sure people will warm up within a few weeks," My mom said, trying to be positive.

He smiled. "If not, I'll be fine. I don't think I'll be sticking around here much longer anyways."

Mine, and my mom's faces went directly to confused and puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Well," He went on, taking a bite of his mashed potatoes, "I have a feeling the school's gunna end up kicking me out."

I didn't get it. Was he already thinking of fucking up again? And why was he being so open to my mom? In front of my family... It was like he thought no one else was there but her.

"That's not good," she shook her head, "why would they do that?"

"I'm not a good student." I knew he was lying. Why?

"Oh, well, Billie will help you out! Don't you even worry." She said like she knew it was a fact that I could prevent him from being kicked out.

The rest of dinner was awkward, as far as the silence went. Mike and my mom were hitting it off pretty well, but my brothers and sisters were talking among themselves, not even acknowledging that Mike was here.

Finally, when everyone finished, they left to their rooms or the television. Not us though. My mom told us to follow her instead, making sure Mike was right behind her. She led us to the door leading to the garage.

"Mike," she said to him, hand ready to turn the handle, "Billie explained to me something, and we were wondering," she said opening to door, exposing a cleaned out room, complete with a mattress and little t.v. on a cardboard box, "if you'd like to live with us? It's not much, but it's a home."

Mike stared at the open room, through the open door, and said nothing. We thought he was just thinking about it, probably in awe that he got offered somewhere to stay on his second day here. It was probably a bit much, but we didn't think he would react the way he did.

What Mike ended up doing was turning around, wordlessly, quickly leaving our house. I followed him to the door, shortly after, and all I could hear as I opened the door was his loud car, peeling out of the neighborhood. I felt like I wanted to cry, but I should have just left him alone.