The Way You Lived Your Life

"We weren't gone that long, mom." Billie said, sounding a little bit defensive. It wasn't normally like Billie to even have a hint of defiance with his mom, at all. Mike was just standing, off the to side, being extra quiet.

"It's not like you to just leave without telling me where-"

"You were at work when I left." He was getting irritated now, and he wasn't hiding it very well. Ollie figured he was just trying to seem 'cool' in front of Mike.

"That's a long time to me," She said, mostly to herself, still hoping he might have heard. "What did you guys do?" Her tone changed now, acting like she was hopeful that they had fun, with whatever they did.

Saying Ollie didn't care would be lying, but she definitely gave up, in a sense. About the time Billie came home from elementry, hanging aound with the trouble makers, she was tired. With Billie being her last child, it was getting to be too much to keep track and drive good rules into his brain. Exactly around the time he came home with a mohawk, sometime around his middle school years, is when she really 'gave up'.

His friend had done it, obviously, and by that point, there really was nothing she could do. Sure, she could have him buzz it off, but if he went through the trouble to go behind her back, just to get a poorly done mohawk, she thought, 'Fuck it'. She dropped it then, and Billie started to be the crazy one in the family. He was quick to fall into his punk ways, even when his mom had no idea what any of it was.

She blamed her daughter, Amy, for taking Billie to his first concert, but after so long, she came to realize how much of a mind Billie had of his own. Now she had to tolerate seeing a tall, skinny, and bright blue haired boy roaming around her house. Still, she loved him, and she did care, she just knew he was going to do as he pleased, wether or not she had any say.

Ollie had thrown in the towel a while ago, and by now, she just let things slide, like Billie and his friend coming home around midnight. It was a school night, but she knew Billie was good about actually getting to school, even of he went late. There was no reason for her to get mad.

"We, uh, drove around. Got some Slurpees," Mike chimed in.

Ollie smiled, and the boys were sure it was fake. "I haven't had one of those in a while," she practically thought aloud. It got quiet for a moment, before Ollie spoke up again. "Well, boys, I'm tired. It's time for me to head off to bed, and if you're wanting to get up early, I suggest you do the same."

They were already walking toward Mike's room as she said that. "We're going to bed now." Mike told her. She looked confused.

"Billie, you're not sleeping in your room tonight?"

Billie was annoyed with his mom, always sounding like she couldn't let him grow up and getting into his business. He was old enough to stay up however late he wanted, and sleep where he felt he wanted to. "Nope," He said walking away, headed into Mike's room. He hadn't originally planned on staying there, but just to prove a point, he went with it.

Ollie turned around, going to her room, and Mike quietly followed Billie into his.

"Your mom's just trying to keep in touch with you," Mike told Billie as he shut the door. Billie was surely about to get annoyed with Mike for that.

"She doesn't have to be so nosey." He was sitting on Mike's bed now, facing the T.V. Mike was just standing there, looking at Billie, almost in disbelief.

"What's she supposed to do? She's gone all night and you're gone all day..."

"I can leave and tell my mom to come in here instead. You two can hang out..."

Mike frowned, and Billie only got a glimpse of it. "All I'm trying to say is at least she cares." Mike sat down now, somewhat next to Billie. It got noise-and-motion-less for a few minutes.

"I know she does," Billie finally said, still not looking over at Mike, "I just don't get why she has to care now. She's got her lousy boyfriend, her job, and all her other kids to bother..."

"You hate him, don't you?"

Billie looked over now. Mike triggered something inside of him.

"After my dad... I don't see how she could want anyone else, especially the biggest prick she could find."

"What makes him so bad?" Mike sounded interested, and finally Billie was opening up to Mike more, again. It had been a few weeks now.

"He's not even good at trying to pretend he likes her kids. If it weren't for the fact that she worked so hard and provided for all of us so well, he wouldn't be around."

Billie definitely had some resentment, and alot of it was because he missed his dad. No one could beat him, not even close. Andy was the best thing for the family, and he always helped and cared. Everyone felt important with him around, and he lit up a room. Anyone trying to take his place automatically became least favorite in the house, to Billie. Especially when the one taking the place of his father wasn't even trying.

He sat around, smoking cigarettes, watching T.V., and sleeping all day. He didn't even have to leave the premises of his mom's room to do any of it. The only time he had to get up was to use the bathroom or grab another beer. It was hard enough supporting kids and herself, but giving up money to support alcoholism wasn't fair.

So, yes, Billie hated him.

"Wish I could understand it I guess." Mike said quietly.

"That's not why I'm mad at her, I guess. It's just...," Billie sighed loudly, "I don't know..."

Mike kept looking at Billie, and he finally returned the look. It didn't seem to mean anything, it was just a look as if Billie were trying to subliminally tell Mike to drop it.

Mike got the hint. He was a mastermind at giving looks with hidden meanings, never getting the satisfaction of seeing someone catch on. He could read them well enough. "What's on T.V.?" Mike asked, looking away from Billie.

"Some stupid scary movie."

Mike laughed, and they both weren't too sure on what it was. They watched it, being stoned, because it helped. They made fun of it enough, laughing at how ridiculous it was. They eventually came to find out it was the remake of Psycho, or something crazy.

Billie wished they would have stayed out later, waiting til he knew for sure his mom was asleep before they came home. He thought they were having too much fun out in Mike's car at the park. It sounds boring, but anytime alone with Mike, just being able to look at him without any suspicion, was the best times he had.

As the days grew on into weeks, seeing how much better Mike was doing, as far as him going to school went, Billie's feelings intensified too. There wasn't any slight bit of doubt that he loved Mike know. He knew him enough, even if Mike wasn't so open about his personal life. He knew his personality, and it was enough.

Even sitting in Mike's room was fun to Billie by now. Times when they'd sit with the television off was okay to him, but it made it even better to laugh with Mike at stupid t.v. shows and movies. Mike had the cutest smile, and his laugh with the sweetest one he'd ever heard. The movie they had on now was making Mike crack up and giving Billie all the laughter he wanted, and he couldn't help but to laugh himself.

The movie did end though, leaving them bored in the garage, they considred Mike's room. He was paying some rent for it now, understanding the situation a little. He didn't get much, but when he got money, he was sure to pay Billie's mom fifty bucks a week. She assured him he didn't need to, but Billie appreciated it, and Mike knew it would only keep him there longer.

"I've got another job for you," Mike said, suggestively, looking away from the credits on the t.v. screen.

"Yea?"

"I know I asked you to a couple of weeks ago, but then I figured I could do it myself."

"I told you I was going to..." Billie said, understanding what Mike was playing around.

"There was someone who was willing to buy it then, someone you don't know. I had to do it... Anyway," Mike said, trying to get back on track, "will you sell some pot for me tomorrow?"

"Just walk around and ask kids if they want some?"

"No, that's stupid." Mike pulled a face at Billie. "How'd you do it last time?"

"80. She knew I had some, and I guess word got out."

Mike looked confused. "She smokes?" Billie nodded, instead of saying yes. "Huh," Mike looked thoughtful. "Is that why kids at school keep asking around for 2 Dollar 'Bill'?"

Billie felt his stomach churn a little. He knew that price was not good, especially if Mike depended on that money. "I- I didn't know how much to sell it for."

"Two bucks a joint? I guess it works..." Mike was thinking aloud. "Do it again tomorrow."

Mike was used to selling weed by 'dimebags' and 'half ounces'. He never actually sold joints, he just kept those to himself, and when he didn't, he kept the papers, as best as he could, and sold the crushed up weed.

"Maybe I'll put a sign up in the bathroom," Billie joked, gliding his hands in the air as if he was looking at a fake banner, "Two Dollar Bill back in business!."

Mike had to laugh at Billie for being so cheesy, but he had to admit it was a good idea. "That, or just use a fucking marker and write it on one of the urinals. Unless you're too good to vandalize our school."

"Shut up," Billie said, only laughing a little. "I'll do it. I'll tell Adrienne to spread the word around."

"Are you guys finally... going together?" Mike asked, completely changing the subject right off the bat.

Billie looked more than confused at Mike's sudden questioning. "Why? Is it weird that I have more than one best friend who's a girl?" Billie joked, referring to Mike's long hair.

"Ha-ha," Mike luaghed slowly and dryly, "So you're still sticking to the whole 'best friend' charade?"

"Why do you think something else is going on?" Billie asked, and he was really getting nervous now, yet he hid it so well.

"She's hot, and I know you like her. I'd fuck her," Mike said, trying to get a rise out of Billie. It worked.

"Don't talk about her like that."

"You love her."

Billie's face hardened. "No, I don't. She's my best friend." He wished he could tell Mike who he really loved.

"Then you're stupid, because he likes you, dude."

He blew air out of his lips. "Right, and I secretly want you." He said sarcastically, knowing both statements were true.

Mike didn't know how to react, and he didn't know why. He laughed though, knowing it was supposed to be a joke. "I'm just fucking around with you. I know she's into that one dude..."

"What 'one dude'?" Billie asked, more than curious.

"He aksed her out, and last I heard is she's still thinking about it. I'm sure she's waiting to see if you ask her before she decides."

Billie's facial expression did change then, and Mike saw it, whether Billie wanted him to or not. "Who?"

"I'm kidding, but now I know you like her." Mike laughed. Billie felt stupid, but he had a chance to still play it off a little, like he was just curious.

"I was just wondering, man! I've gone to school with her for years, and not one guy has been interested in the stoner chick with the dread locks."

Mike stopped laughing. He was irritated that Billie still wouldn't tell him about what he and Adrienne did. He was close to just telling Billie what he knew, but he also knew how mad Billie would be, or embarassed. Either way, Billie would leave the room. Mike knew it.

Maybe Billie figured Mike still thought of him as the 'goody good' still, not ever doing much, except smoking pot, and sluffing school a few times. Would it change Mike's opinion if he told Mike what he did with Adrienne? Was he even supposed to tell anyone at all? He was sure Adrienne told her friends, and it made him worry if he was good or not, and what she could have possibly said.

With how Mike was talking about her, assuming all these things about him and 80, he figured Mike had to have known there wa something between them. He was just so lost in his feelings for Mike, even if they couldn't be returned, his heart never gave up easily. Obviously.

A smile crept up on Billie's face after a while. Mike got curious. "What?"

"You wouldn't believe me."

Now Mike really wanted to know. Anything that sounded like it was going to even be remotely weird or absurd, Mike wanted to find out. Especially coming from Billie, the 'good kid'. "Try me, shithead." Mike said, getting anxious to know what Billie could have done that would sound too unbelievable, just coming from Billie.

Billie's smike got wider, and Mike's eyes only did the same. "Would you believe me if I said I've had sex before?" Billie asked, and he was too impatient for Mike's reaction or reply. Mike probably wouldn't have believed him, but he never knew what Mike would say nonetheless.

One of Mike's eye brows raised, and only a corner of his mouth stayed up, looking like a half-smile. "I... I don't know. I guess it depends on when."

Mike wasn't too sure he wanted to hear it now. Again, the form of jealousy came into play, and he still didn't like thinking it could be jealousy, and it only made him mad that he didn't know what it was. Needless to say, his smile gradually went away and he didn't like how Billie's next words could make him think things he didn't need to think about. It wasn't his business, but Billie was confiding in him, trying to 'bond'.

"A few weeks ago." Billie had a huge smile now, not really understanding Mike's look, other than thinking it was him just trying to take it all in. He was too concerned with finally being able to tell someone, and out of all people, the one person he'd always wanted to share things with. "Do you?"

"Do I what?" Mike asked, sounding like he had already forgotten what was just said.

"Do you believe me?"

Mike did though. He was there for the conversation prior to them having sex. He didn't stick around to hear his best friend loose his virginity to his best friend, but he knew now. He left, wondering it it had happened, but now he was assured. His mind was already leaning more toward thinking Billie did it that day anyway. No way would any guy turn down a hot naked girl, asking for her first time to be with him. Even if she only did it out of a trust issue, at least he wouldn't have lost it to some idiot girl at a drunken party. Right?

"Yea, I believe you." Mike admitted. Instead of being so enthused and excited about it, like Billie had hoped, he seemed to be more in shock. Billie figured it was shock from the news, but Mike was shocked that Billie actually told him. He didn't want to know.

"Aren't you going to ask who?" Billie said, getting nervous now, not sure if he should admit the next part.

"Oh yea," Mike trailed off. "Who's the, uh, lucky girl?" He forced a smile, for Billie's sake.

Billie's face got red. "I hate to admit you're right about it, but she does like me."

"You fucked Adrienne." It came out more of a statement than I question.

"I didn't fuck her," Billie corrected.

"So you made love to her?" Mike's eyes were blank and ice blue.

"I...wouldn't say that either." Billie said, getting serious. It wasn't a light hearted guy-to-guy talk anymore, he could tell. "I just had sex with my best friend, that's how I look at it; harmless sex."

"Harmless-best-friend-sex," Mike mumbled. 'Yea, I guess I shouldn't let it get to me. After all it was just harmless sex,' Mike thought. "Was it... good?" He asked, getting curious now.

Billie nodded and his smile returned. "It felt amazing!"

Mike chucked shortly, under his breath. "No, I mean, was there any emotion behind it?"

Billie didn't seem to understand the question, but he tried to answer as best as he could. "Like Love? I don't know... I love Adrienne, yea, but feelings have died down too much for it just to instantly come back because I got naked and put-"

"Yea, yea," Mike interupted before Billie could say anything further on where he put himself.

Billie continued, "But, no. Not like that. She's really just my best friend, and we trusted each other to, you know... "

"Yea, I know. "

"I figured...," Billie started to sound a little sad, "not only that I couldn't trust anyone to, but also because no one else would want to. I'm not about to wait another ten years just to marry someone so I can have sex."

That lit a fire inside Mike somehow, and he rose quickly.

"Don't fucking say that. You don't know that you couldn't get someone to have sex with you, or to even make love to you."

"Calm down, Mike." Billie said, getting a little worried and a tad weirded out. "What the hell?"

"You're fucking oblivious and you're too self loathing. Adrienne wouldn't be the only girl to sleep with you, you should've waited! Waited for someone who fucking loves you, and not just as a best friend!"

Billie didn't say a word. He was too confused to even think about where all this came from inside of Mike. It was a side of him he had never seen. It was a side that seemed to show how much he cared about Billie, yet what he said had also hurt his feelings. His face stayed the same, and his eyes watched Mike walk away.

"Where are you going?" Billie asked, concerned, as mad as he wanted to be at Mike for the random outburst.

"I had fucking places to be tonight, and instead I sat and listened to your doubts and stupidity."

Billie's jaw dropped. "Fucking go then. I don't even want to talk to you."

Mike glared, and walked out of the garage, slamming the door quietly enough that Ollie wouldn't be concerned that something bad had just happened. He was quick to get to his car anyway. He had nowhere to go, he thought, getting in and backing out of the driveway. He sure as hell wasn't about to head over to the park, just to sit in his car some more, alone.

He left Billie in a state of confusion and hurt. As soon as he heard Mike's car start up, he flung himself down onto Mike's bed and hugged his blanket and pushed his face into the pillow and cried. He knew it was pathetic of him to do, especially when Mike was clearly being an asshole without any good reason. It still made him feel guilty somehow, like he had done something wrong to make Mike so mad. Mike seemed more than mad though, he seemed to be hurt.

Mike was confused too, but Billie wouldn't have known why and he definitely had no idea what could have made Mike feel so bitter toward Billie all of a sudden. He only regretted telling Mike what he did with Adrienne, and because of what Mike had said, he also regretted what he did with her. He was right about how it should've been with someone he loved, but if Mike knew that it was he who he loved, Mike wouldn't have said a thing then. Mike would have known why Billie figured he wouldn't get sex from anyone else.

Billie wouldn't get sex from Mike, even if Mike knew he loved him. Therefor, Billie wouldn't have lost his virginity to the one he loved, and not only that, but he wouldn't want to do it with anyone else. Adrienne was different, because he did trust her, and he loved her at one point. He really saw it as pointless sex, but he sort of saw why Mike was so frustrated with him losing his virginity just like that. Still, why should it matter?

If Mike lost his virginity out of a spur of the moment type of thing, that that's his regret. He didn't need to make Billie feel low for doing what he wanted. Even if Mike hadn't had sex yet, which he figured Mike had to have done, it still didn't have authority over Billie's sex life. It only made Billie mad about it.

Then again, on the other hand, he had never seen Mike so concerned or even the slightest bit interested in Billie like that. Stupidly, he hoped it meant something.

After waiting, even though he told himself Mike could fuck off, he fell asleep. He still worried about Mike, still not even knowin what he got himself into when he was in a decent mood, let alone when he stormed out of the house like that. He fell asleep hugging Mike's blanket.

It was about two in the morning when Mike got to his destination, which took him long enough to debate on going. He told himself it was the only place he was welcome, besides Billie's, yet it was so late. He had been driving around for twenty minutes, just deciding on whether or not he should have come or not. He was driving up and down the street, almost as if he was pacing, and he had just now, finally, parked the car. That was a head start, he guessed.

Even if he didn't go inside, he still needed to get out of the house where Billie was. What was going on inside of him wasn't natural, and that's what motivated him to come, let alone get into his car at all. He really needed someone to talk to.

He sighed and turned the keys, turning off the car. Now it was dark, and he could see the house over looked like a party was going on, like usual. He was never there, even if we was invited, but even from outside, a house down, he saw how unenjoyable it would be.

He watched the house for a few more minutes, still debating, before he actually took the keys out of the ignition. Mike wasn't sure about it, but he had no where else to turn to, and if he gave it a few more days, he'd end up beating himself up, propbably in ways he never would have thought of.

"Okay," he said to himself, putting his hand over the door-handle. He closed his eyes hard as the door opened, and he was reluctant to walk up to the front porch. The feeling in his stomach was too much right then, so like he did in his car, he turned back around. Mike was right back to the driver's seat. He sat in his car for a little bit before he heard something.

He was quick to look up at the house he was in front of. A light was now on in the living room, and he could see someone looking out the window. He had to go now before he was assumed of being a perv or something.

Mike got out of his car, again, and shut the door. He walked up to the front porch, slowly, and more cautiously than he wanted to. It showed how nervous he really was. Before he reached the door, it had opened, and he was welcomed to a smiling face.

"Oh, hello, Mike! Long time no see..." She held the door open, allowing Mike to walk through.

He smiled, and it was a real one this time. "I know, I've been waiting to see you again, I guess we just keep missing each other."

"I guess," she said shutting the door. "So thank you for the presents." She thanked Mike, hugging him tightly.

"I fugured you'd need some, and I've been getting 'em for free lately, so why not?"

"I guess Tom's finally easing up a bit, huh?"

They both sat down at the table in the kitchen. Karlee didn't seem too worried about being quiet.

"Actually, I've been doing some good business for him lately, and he's finally realizing that I'm not too bad of a runner." He joked.

She slightly giggled. "That's good. But it's been so nice the past few days, the joints you bring me haven't been needed. Sure, I'm still smoking them, because it makes the days so much better, but it's not a neccessity, at least for another 2 weeks.

Mike looked interested. He was so glad she was actually happy without needed weed to make it happen. "What's your secret?" He asked, in a gay-sounding voice. It made her laugh.

"Not having a neglective or abusive husband around seems like just the thing I needed." She was smiling, widely.

"That's great. How long is he going to be gone?"

Her smile grew bigger. "He came back last week, and when I peeked my head down the stairs, he was packing more! I was so relieved that I smoked right in the house as he was dragging his things out to his truck!"

He was laughing as he spoke. "And your kids?"

"They're doing great! My mother heard of the news and figured I could use some time to myself, so now the kids are staying at my mother's house for a week now." It was all good to hear, Mike just had some serious stuff on his chest that he couldn't figure out, and he couldn't ignore it.

"That's awesome," Mike said, pulling out a cigarette. "I'm happy for you, Kar." He handed her one.

He sat back in the chair a little. Her smile stayed, but the subject changed. "So what did you need, buddy?"

He sighed. He didn't want to bring her down with his bumming stories or bore her with his problems. He tried to lie. "I guess I was just curious as to how you were."

"Mike, I'm a mother of two boys and an ex wife to three. You can't fool this one."

He sighed again. "Fine...You got me."

She smiled, proud of herself for being right. "Tell me."

"I guess I needed advice and some help."

Her smile faded. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything else is, I'm just confused. It has to do with me."

"What's wrong?"

Mike watched Karlee as she looked at him, into his eyes, trying to read his emotions like a book, but he was the best at keeping the pages hidden. Maybe that's what was wrong with him, and by now he needed to trust someone, especially this lady he looked up to like an older sister, but cared for like a mother somehow. He couldn't keep closed forever, and now was the time to start sharing what was inside a little. He just didn't know how to unlock the crate to his head and the doors in his chest yet.

"I'm confused."

"About what?" She asked and let him start out small.

"That's just it. I don't know... I was hoping you could decode me or something like that."

She laughed, but not at him. It was an innocent laughter, letting him know she got what he meant. "Okay, let's see what I can do. So, tell me, what triggered this...confusion?"

"It's been a while now," he started, "Ever since I moved into that Billie kid's house." She nodded, because she understood enough from what Mike informed her about Billie and his new 'home'. "He's been too nice to me, and there's this thing that seems to linger over my head every time he walks into a room."

"That's been happening since you moved in?"

"Just recently." He corrected. "When I moved in, there was something else, like a weird vibe in the room everywhere he was. After some time, I found a notebook in his room. He... he writes songs, and I've found some songs he's started, and they were about me. Once I saw one or two, I figured I should stop going through his stuff."

"Okay," she sounded very interested. "What were they about?"

He swallowed. "His feelings for me." Her eyes grew wide, but not in a way that made him feel awkward, even for Billie's sake. "I figured it was a silly crush, but after all I've done he still wants me to stay at his house and he accepts all my apologies. I can tell it's more serious than just a crush now, but he just acts like we're friends and nothing to it."

"Does that make you upset?" She asked.

"No, not like that. It is weird, but the other day he didn't know I was home, and I heard him about to get it on with his old best friend. She-"

"She?" She was more than just listening out of curiousity now. She was purely interested, deeply.

"Yea, they go way back or something, and for a while I liked when he called me his best friend and not her, but the day I heard them talking before they had sex, she admitted she loved him before, and it made me mad. She's been no good to him, friendwise, because she hangs with the cool crowd. Billie's no weirdo nerd or anything, he just... doesn't fit in, like me. I thought we connected, but when he bought into it and they actually had sex..."

"Why did they then?" She tried to figure out more to the story.

"She told him she trusted him, and only him, but like I said, she hasn't been a good friend. She's never around and she hasn't been until I came around. I don't know why she would care, other than kids at school spread rumors about me, she probably thinks I'm bad for him... but, how could he buy her bullshit after she ignored him for so long?"

"It sounds like she's been watching from afar. Maybe she's up to things she thinks are no good for Billie to be around, so she's kept her distance. As soon as the 'new kid' comes around, along with some nasty rumors, she probably thinks she's protecting him."

"But the sex thing..."

"She needs security, I guess. I wish I would have done it with my best friend and not my first boyfriend back in high school." She told him, shrugging her shoulders. "Still, she shouldn't keep away for so long and then just expect him to believe he's still her best friend. She didn't make him though, right?"

"No," Mike agreed, looking down at the floor. "He enjoyed himself, so he told me tonight."

"Oh?"

Mike got worried about getting into further details about tonight, hoping if she told him he wouldn't look like the asshole, like he always felt. If he wanted help though, he had to tell the truth, and right now, it seemed it was the only help that he could get that would actually help.

"I yelled at him tonight after he told me, and it hurt my feelings, which I don't get why, when he started to tell me he only did it because he would never get a chance with someone else, or someone he could trust, and he said it was 'harmless-best-friend-sex. He's better than that, and if no girl would want him, they're nuts!" Karlee sat back with a grin on her face, watching Mike go on, not even asking him to go further than he needed to. "He's the coolest fucking person out of any school I have ever been to!"

"Could you be jealous he considers her his best friend even when he has you?"

"I mean, fuck! Then out of all people, this Adrienne girl gets to take his virginity just because he thinks he has no other friends to trust or something. He beats himself up and he's oblivious to shit. He's being stupid, Kar."

"Oblivious? Oblivious to... say maybe someone having feelings for him?" Now she was digging, finding answers, hopefully solving his problems of confusion.

He stopped being hysterical, but wasn't sure of what to say. "Wha-Who though?"

Her smile stayed visable. "You."

His eyes widened, and for once, he started to think of it that way. "I-I don't know. I care for him, like... he's my best friend."

Her brow rose. "Harmless-Best-Friend-Romance? It sounds to me like you're probably feeling jealous, and that might confuse you, along with maybe having feelings. It's just a thought."

Mike just stared at her, not even sure what to think. She figured she was right, and if he thought on it hard enough, he'd figure it out too. She knew what she was talking about. She didn't want him to feel awkward though, so she pressed on, helping him further along his solution.

"Have you ever been in love before?" She asked, innocently.

"No, I don't think so."

"Have you ever had sex?"

"I've like enough girls, I just... I've never talked to one, at least not in a way I should if I was really interested. I couldn't get a girl to talk to me anyway, let alone wanting anything to do with me like that..."

"Have you ever liked a boy before?"

"If I did... I couldn't have been sure. That's not normal to me, but I'm not against that kinda stuff."

"Do you think Billie's... attractive?" She asked, finally.

He really had to stop and think. He thought about his deep green eyes that seemed to captivate his glances, and he pictured his goofy smile when he was stoned. The tired look on his face every morning, yet the excitement when Mike agreed to to go to school with him. Billie's messy hair that used to be full of brown, long curls, that was now short, and stunning blue. His perfect lips that seemed to be too perfect on a guy, yet fit him perfectly. The cute nose with the loop through it, making him look more tough than he really was. Even his nice, thin body that never got bad looking, no matter how many munchies he ate after they got stoned. Oh, and the nice rounded ass-

"Oh my god!" Mike shouted "I- I do!"

Of course Karlee couldn't help but to laugh, only in a way of letting herself feel better for Mike, knowing he got that off of his chest. She was glad he could open up to her like that, and she knew more than anyone. Mike never even told Billie what he did, but she knew. She also knew of all the things he did to Billie, and how awful he felt. Knowing that he probably really loved him was the best thing for him. He needed to know he could trust someone, and she was more than thankful she could be trusted.

In her eyes, he was like a little brother, not being too old herself. She was in her mid twenties, and she saw how he looked up to her. In ways, she hoped her kids could be like that with her, when they started to have problems. If some 18 year old kid off the street, who she met in her back yard, could, then so could her own kids.

"Karlee, thank you so much! I gotta get back to Billie!"

"Wait a second, Mike." She stopped him from getting too far out of the kitchen. He turned back around to listen to what she had to say. "Think about it. If you just got here, done yelling at him, making him feel stupid, you need to give him time now. You can't just keep on fucking things up, saying sorry, then going back to normal. It can't be good on him. He might be getting tired of it."

"So, what do I do?" Mike asked, completely taking her word for everything now, not even getting a little pissed about her saying he was the one who was fucking things up. Hell, it was true.

"Stay here tonight, and surprise him at school tomorrow."

It put a huge smile on his face. "Yea?"

"He knows you're a shithead and thinks you aren't going to school tomorrow now. When he sees you, maybe with a secret note in his locker, saying sorry, then he can't be mad. Sure, he may want to talk about it later, but for the time being, he'll be too exstatic."

"You're right," He told Karlee. "So, where do I stay?"

"Here. My couch pulls into a fouton, and I'm tired, so do it yourself. I'm going to bed."

He started to laugh, as did she, and she went to walk away. Before she could head off down the hall, he stopped her, and gave her a hug. "Thank you, Kar. It... means a lot."

"Of course, bud!" She hugged him back. "You can always come to me."

He smiled, then thanked her again. Before long, he was alseep on her couch, and she was in her room, smoking another joint to put her to sleep herself. She hadn't planned on staying up so late.

Mike wasn't early, but he wasn't late. He had to stop at Billie's to change, but he had to wait for Billie to not be there either. It wasn't long, because Billie probably wanted to see Adrienne now that Mike was being an ass again, and would definitely be going to school. Mike was too impatient to wait for his big plan though, so he snuck into the house, pretty early, and was quick to go into his room.

He didn't expect to see Billie in his bed as he grabbed his bass. It made him sad to see him cuddled up with his pillow and blanket, yet he definitely didn't mind Billie doing it. He watched him sleep, until he started to stir, and ran out of the garage and back into the house. It would ruin his plans if Billie woke up and saw him, so he was quick to get back to his car and drive to school. Even if he had to wait in the parking lot all morning.

It seemed like the bus was really late that morning, but he had all the time to practice. He remembered a song he had heard Billie playing once, and somehow he managed to make up a bass line perfect for the song. He made an entire song-length out of it all, and he was ready for Billie to hear it. He just had to wait it out until lunch time.

Billie's POV

"Really? He got mad when you told him?" 80 asked in disbelief.

"You're not mad that I told him?" I asked, hoping I didn't screw up by telling.

"I get you think of him as a friend, and not only that, but he wouldn't know anyone here to tell, so I'm not worried."

'Oh, you're worried someone will find out you had sex with me...' I realized. "I trust him." I said to her. I do, just not when it comes to personal things. He gets mad at me for some reason, and it's not that I can't trust him to keep it a secret or anything, it's just I can't trust what he'll do.

I wanted to be able to tell Mike anything, but as soon as I start, there's always something with him. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I knew I still loved him. Maybe his mysterious ways were a good part to me loving him, because he never got dull. It was a surprise all the time, even if it was a bad one. He still wasn't a plain, boring guy. I loved it.

"Well good, I just don't get why he said you were stupid for not waiting..."

"Wait," I stopped her, "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what? Shari talking about Peter again-"

"Sssh! Listen." I tried to shut her up without sounding rude. Then I heard it again. "It's so familiar."

"I still don't get it." Adrienne told me. walking beside me, still listening to others' conversations and not the beautiful tune.

It was coming from one of the tables that just so happened to be blocked, thanks to all the jocks who were too cool to sit at a table, or even eat during lunch. The were all huddled around in a group, about ten feet in front of us. I couldn't see past them, but when I did, I saw another group, this time all the grunge and stoner kids were circled around one of the tables.

I tried to get closer, and when I did, all I could hear was a familiar tune, it just sounded so different. It was a 'dirnty' sound, like ever time I took a step closer, I could hear it get louder.

Dirnt.
Dirnt.
Dirnt.

I ould tell it was a bass guitar now. My heart was racing as I urged closer, starting to remember what the tune being played was. I was getting excited, and I didn't even care if 80 was still with me or not, I needed to see what was happening, and why this song was being played. It was almost like a light was calling me, pulling me in with measures and notes, floating all around my head.

My heart was punding as I reached the wall of long-haired, baggy clothes-wearing kids.

Dirnt.
Dirnt.
Dirrrrrnt!

Then it stopped, and I saw the most beautiful thing in my life.