Status: On hiatus until I get some comments and/or inspiration
Heels On The Sidewalk Begging For A Back Beat
Bipolar Baby!
“Holy shit.”
Walking onto the stage with Alex holding my hand definitely made the top spot on my list of “holy shit” moments. The view was incredible, and imagining all the people that would soon fill the space in the room just made it that much more exciting.
“This is crazy! How do you get up here and not freak out?!” I was at a loss for words after that. I kept looking around as if something bad was going to happen. Whenever something good happens in my life, something bad always comes in and takes over. The soft chuckle I heard brought me out of my negative thoughts and back to the present.
“Of course I freak out, Ror. I just know how to hide it, unlike someone I know…” he smirked down at me as I playfully glared at him.
“Oh, I see how it is. JACK!!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, which made Alex jump in surprise. Jack was in front of the stage in seconds.
“Yes my sweets?”
“Catch me! CROWD SURF!” I quickly let go of Alex’s hand and sprinted towards the edge of the stage, just wanting to feel free yet safe at the same time. I closed my eyes as I felt myself being weightless for those precious few seconds. I was soon met with the feeling of arms around me, yet I didn’t feel the need to open my eyes just yet.
“Got ya princess. Oh wait, I’m supposed to make you wake up.” I felt Jack kiss my cheek and I couldn’t stay serious anymore and burst out in laughter.
“What the fuck?!” I looked up at Alex as he jumped down off the stage and made his way over. Jack quickly put me down, noticing Alex’s pissed off expression. I glanced up at Alex, feeling kinda guilty, but then again I didn’t technically do anything. “What the hell was that?!” He looked as though steam was going to burst out of his ears. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone that upset, especially over something so small.
“Alex, chill out man. It was just a joke.” Jack was even all serious now.
Alex grabbed his hair and then blew it out of his face. “Sorry. Just don’t do shit like that. It just gets to me and I can’t control the way I react I guess.” I looked at Alex like he was crazy. Was he really that protective of me? Jack is his best friend, not some fucking rapist. I guess I should be flattered, but Alex had no right to yell at us like that, plus he scared me.
“Ror? Aw fuck, please don’t cry. I’m really sorry.” I hadn’t even realized that my mind decided to turn on the water works until Alex started to wipe them away. He held me close to his chest, not caring if I left water marks on his shirt. I clutched my hands onto his v neck and just cried. I never had an opportunity to release all my emotions when I was living in my little concrete square. I never had the ability to cry then. I suppose I was too scared to cry, yet the first time I actually cried during that time was when Alex found me. Alex makes me cry? No, the first time he saw me cry was because my heart got stepped on and dragged across hot coals. This time it’s because Alex’s anger reminded me of why I was in the situation that I was. People being angry at me was the reason why I had nowhere else to go. Now I’m just confusing myself. Alex was mad at Jack, not me. And here he is comforting me and letting me cry all over him.
“I’m sorry Alex.” I managed to whisper.
“What? Why are you sorry? I’m the one that had a bitch fit back there.”
“I’m sorry. For everything. For being an emotional roller coaster and for barging into your life with all my shit to handle. I don’t even understand why-“
“Rori, stop. Okay I honestly don’t know why I decided to bring you into my life. It was like I was drawn to you. Like I needed to help you. I can’t explain it, but believe me when I say that you have nothing to be sorry about. I’m here to help you. Shit, we are all here to help you, but mainly me. I don’t hold any of your past against you. And quite frankly, I don’t even think about your past. The past is the past. We’ve all fucked up in our lives, and if we’re lucky, we have a chance to change things around. You’re my chance Siouxsie, and I think I’m yours.”
I stared up at him, not believing what I just heard. I didn’t know what to say, and once again my instincts took over as I found his lips. I kissed him with such passion that I wasn’t even breathing anymore. Breathing wasn’t important, Alex was. All I could feel was Alex. All I wanted was Alex. He has been the only person to put me back together more than once. That’s got to stand for something, right? Our moment was cut short when we heard someone clear their throat.
“Uh…lunch is served bitches.” Jack, really?
“Thanks, asshole.” Alex grumbled and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, you think that’s funny huh?” I nodded my head and was soon hanging over Alex’s shoulder.
“Alex! What the hell?!”
“Not so funny now is it?” He laughed as he still held me when we arrived where the food was.
“How’s the weather up there?” Zack laughed at me.
“There’s about to be a motherfucking hurricane if I’m not put down.” I was doing a good job at staying serious this time. I gave Zack my intense look and it must have worked because I felt my feet come in contact with the ground.
“Jesus, woman. Don’t ever make that face again. That was seriously creepy.” Zack walked away as I snickered in victory.
“I saw that. You are learning well, young one.” Jack bowed at me as I rolled my eyes.
“Oh yes master. You taught me everything I know. Except I never can remember the super sonic wedgie…” I started making my way closer to him which caused him to shriek like a girl and run away.
“How’d you do that?! You must teach me!” Rian joked as I laughed.
“Mention giving him a wedgie I guess.” I shrugged.
“Damn, I never thought of that one. You’re good.” We fist bumped as we both laughed.
“What’d I miss?” Alex came up behind me with a plate full of food.
Rian glanced at Alex’s plate and laughed, “Well we definitely didn’t miss you being a fat ass. Save some food for us, geez.” I held in my laughter as Rian walked away.
“It’s not even that much food…” Alex looked down at his plate, clearly confused.
I love these guys. Especially one in particular.
Walking onto the stage with Alex holding my hand definitely made the top spot on my list of “holy shit” moments. The view was incredible, and imagining all the people that would soon fill the space in the room just made it that much more exciting.
“This is crazy! How do you get up here and not freak out?!” I was at a loss for words after that. I kept looking around as if something bad was going to happen. Whenever something good happens in my life, something bad always comes in and takes over. The soft chuckle I heard brought me out of my negative thoughts and back to the present.
“Of course I freak out, Ror. I just know how to hide it, unlike someone I know…” he smirked down at me as I playfully glared at him.
“Oh, I see how it is. JACK!!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, which made Alex jump in surprise. Jack was in front of the stage in seconds.
“Yes my sweets?”
“Catch me! CROWD SURF!” I quickly let go of Alex’s hand and sprinted towards the edge of the stage, just wanting to feel free yet safe at the same time. I closed my eyes as I felt myself being weightless for those precious few seconds. I was soon met with the feeling of arms around me, yet I didn’t feel the need to open my eyes just yet.
“Got ya princess. Oh wait, I’m supposed to make you wake up.” I felt Jack kiss my cheek and I couldn’t stay serious anymore and burst out in laughter.
“What the fuck?!” I looked up at Alex as he jumped down off the stage and made his way over. Jack quickly put me down, noticing Alex’s pissed off expression. I glanced up at Alex, feeling kinda guilty, but then again I didn’t technically do anything. “What the hell was that?!” He looked as though steam was going to burst out of his ears. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone that upset, especially over something so small.
“Alex, chill out man. It was just a joke.” Jack was even all serious now.
Alex grabbed his hair and then blew it out of his face. “Sorry. Just don’t do shit like that. It just gets to me and I can’t control the way I react I guess.” I looked at Alex like he was crazy. Was he really that protective of me? Jack is his best friend, not some fucking rapist. I guess I should be flattered, but Alex had no right to yell at us like that, plus he scared me.
“Ror? Aw fuck, please don’t cry. I’m really sorry.” I hadn’t even realized that my mind decided to turn on the water works until Alex started to wipe them away. He held me close to his chest, not caring if I left water marks on his shirt. I clutched my hands onto his v neck and just cried. I never had an opportunity to release all my emotions when I was living in my little concrete square. I never had the ability to cry then. I suppose I was too scared to cry, yet the first time I actually cried during that time was when Alex found me. Alex makes me cry? No, the first time he saw me cry was because my heart got stepped on and dragged across hot coals. This time it’s because Alex’s anger reminded me of why I was in the situation that I was. People being angry at me was the reason why I had nowhere else to go. Now I’m just confusing myself. Alex was mad at Jack, not me. And here he is comforting me and letting me cry all over him.
“I’m sorry Alex.” I managed to whisper.
“What? Why are you sorry? I’m the one that had a bitch fit back there.”
“I’m sorry. For everything. For being an emotional roller coaster and for barging into your life with all my shit to handle. I don’t even understand why-“
“Rori, stop. Okay I honestly don’t know why I decided to bring you into my life. It was like I was drawn to you. Like I needed to help you. I can’t explain it, but believe me when I say that you have nothing to be sorry about. I’m here to help you. Shit, we are all here to help you, but mainly me. I don’t hold any of your past against you. And quite frankly, I don’t even think about your past. The past is the past. We’ve all fucked up in our lives, and if we’re lucky, we have a chance to change things around. You’re my chance Siouxsie, and I think I’m yours.”
I stared up at him, not believing what I just heard. I didn’t know what to say, and once again my instincts took over as I found his lips. I kissed him with such passion that I wasn’t even breathing anymore. Breathing wasn’t important, Alex was. All I could feel was Alex. All I wanted was Alex. He has been the only person to put me back together more than once. That’s got to stand for something, right? Our moment was cut short when we heard someone clear their throat.
“Uh…lunch is served bitches.” Jack, really?
“Thanks, asshole.” Alex grumbled and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, you think that’s funny huh?” I nodded my head and was soon hanging over Alex’s shoulder.
“Alex! What the hell?!”
“Not so funny now is it?” He laughed as he still held me when we arrived where the food was.
“How’s the weather up there?” Zack laughed at me.
“There’s about to be a motherfucking hurricane if I’m not put down.” I was doing a good job at staying serious this time. I gave Zack my intense look and it must have worked because I felt my feet come in contact with the ground.
“Jesus, woman. Don’t ever make that face again. That was seriously creepy.” Zack walked away as I snickered in victory.
“I saw that. You are learning well, young one.” Jack bowed at me as I rolled my eyes.
“Oh yes master. You taught me everything I know. Except I never can remember the super sonic wedgie…” I started making my way closer to him which caused him to shriek like a girl and run away.
“How’d you do that?! You must teach me!” Rian joked as I laughed.
“Mention giving him a wedgie I guess.” I shrugged.
“Damn, I never thought of that one. You’re good.” We fist bumped as we both laughed.
“What’d I miss?” Alex came up behind me with a plate full of food.
Rian glanced at Alex’s plate and laughed, “Well we definitely didn’t miss you being a fat ass. Save some food for us, geez.” I held in my laughter as Rian walked away.
“It’s not even that much food…” Alex looked down at his plate, clearly confused.
I love these guys. Especially one in particular.
♠ ♠ ♠
hellooooooooooooo!! I returned!!so this will be a longer author's note compared to the rest.
first off, I saw atl on the dirty work tour on april 18th, and let's just say it was definitely eventful.
I went to their signing at hot topic before the show which was awesome :]
then i got early entry through the hustler club so i was third row at the show. i made it through the summer set and hey monday, but during yellowcard i couldn't take it anymore. i felt like i was going to faint and/or throw up so i signaled for the security to get me out of there. since everyone had their arms up because of the show, security didn't get to me in time. as the security guy gripped under my arms i blacked out and literally crowd surfed while unconscious. i woke up as i was being set down on the floor and the security guy led me to the back of the venue outside where the paramedics were. they gave me water as i sat there just getting back to normal. cassadee walked by since we were by the buses and she didn't even bother to ask if we were okay. it just seemed kind of bitchy to me that she didn't even care but whatever. then the paramedics said i should sit inside the doorway so i won't be cold since it was like 45 outside. yellowcard finished their set and the violinist was walking towards me so i said great show and he said "thanks! but are you okay?" he saw me black out!! so embarrassing :/ but at least he cared <3 after that i got escorted back into the crowd but towards the back and i got a bunch of videos of atl's set, including one where jack has a disco party haha <3 oh and vinny isn't a good merch guy. i was one of the first people to buy merch since i got in early and i asked for a small and later realized that he gave me a medium! my shirt is like a dress uhg. regardless, atl was amazing, especially when alex put on a furry animal hat and then saying that he should have checked the inside to see if someone shit in it hahah :]
so yeah i know this is really super long, but it seemed like the right place to write out my experience since it's atl's show.
so i got two comments while i was away, and there are SEVENTEEN subscribers?!?
what's with that, guys?!
i really really really want to know what you think!
this is my first story, and i know it's not the best, but i really would appreciate feedback.
my feedback means shit haha so yours is very much wanted!!
if you've read this far, CONGRATULATIONS! you are amazing!! <3
and thank you for reading :]