Love This Pain

The whole day of rehearsal Matt was upset. He didn't want to talk to anyone and if he did talk to anyone, it was to cuss them out. I really had no idea why the hell he was acting like this. He usually talked to us when he was pissed off.

"Do you know why Matt's being a bitch?" Zacky asked me as he fiddled with his guitar.

I shook my head. "I guess it's just his time of the month." We both started chuckling before Jimmy came up behind us.

"Ryder's pregnant, dude. That's why he's so pissed." I looked at him in disbelief. "He found out a couple days ago. She won't say who the father is and it's pissing him off. I thought he told you guys."

"Ryder's pregnant?" Zacky asked, scolding me instantly.

"Don't give me that look." I told him, looking away from him.

"Jimmy, hundred bucks says the baby is Brian's." Zacky smirked towards me.

"You're on." They shook hands and Jimmy walked off with Johnny, probably to torture him because Johnny had a look of fear on his face.

"You guys are assholes." I mumbled to Zacky, giving him a not so pleasant look.

"Hey, you were the idiot who slept with her. Did you even use protection?" I looked at him. I gave him a small smile then started walking towards Johnny and Jimmy. "This is a problem you can't run away from, Haner!"

"Watch me, Baker." I replied quiet enough for him not to here me.

----------------------------------------------------

Let's see. Ryder tried calling me, now, 19 times. Yeah, I'm not going to answer it. It's been a few days and I haven't spoken a word about Ryder. I slept with a random chick for the past couple of nights. Life was good. Finally.

But I did have that horrible feeling inside. I had probably a 90 percent chance the baby was mine. I can't take care of a kid. I'm still a kid at heart. Just a kid with more money and better looking.

My phone started ringing again, I immediately put it on silent. I couldn't talk to her. Not now.

Zacky handed me my 9th beer for tonight. I was hardly feeling anything. I needed to feel more. I needed to be completely wasted. I, for once in my life, wanted to get drunk and have a hangover. I was going to sleep all day the next day.

After about 8 shots and another 5 beers later, I was good and hammered. I was actually getting to the point of passing out.

"Matt, I need to tell you something." I slurred, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"What? You're finally coming out of the closet? I thought you might be gay." He joked, pounding knuckles with Jimmy.

I laughed a little. "No, I just wanted to tell you that I'm Ryder's babies father." I told him, smiling.

Matt's smile immediately left his face and he stood up, getting in my face. "You better be joking around, Gates."

"See the funny thing is that I'm not. I slept with her a few times actually. Even though you told me to stay away from her." Jimmy grabbed Matt's arms and Zacky pulled me away from him. "And the worst thing, I fell in love with her. Biggest mistake of my life."

Matt lunged at me, breaking out of Jimmy's hold. I didn't know what to do. I was drunk, my vision was gone and my reflexes were crap.

After a few good punches and me trying to get a punch in, Zacky and Jimmy were both holding him back. "I'm going to fucking kill you, Haner!"

"I'd like to watch you try, Sanders." Wow, I talk a lot of shit. I licked my lip, feeling the warm blood start rolling off. I already felt my stomach starting hurt, which meant he definitely got some good punches in.

"Brian, go back to your hotel room." Zacky ordered.

I scoffed and turned to my drink. "Whatever. Tell her to abort the baby!" I shouted as I rounded the corner to the elevators.