Starting Over

“Overnight Therapy.” my father answered, ignoring my mother completely. “I’m racist and I need to fix it.”

Even though I’m glad he could own up to it, it is kind of embarrassing. I don’t know why, everyone’s family here, or will be soon anyway. “Good for you Dad.” I said.

I pulled Trevor up the stairs behind me. When we got to my room, I lied down and Trevor did the same. He was at a respectable distance, so I didn’t complain.

“why didn’t you tell me?” Trevor asked after a couple of minutes went by. He turned to me as I turned to ace him. I knew exactly what he was talking about.

“I didn’t know myself.” I answered.

“Please, please promise me something Cass.”

“What?”

“That you will never lie to me. Ever.”

“I will never lie to you.” I lied. I felt really bad. How could Trevor understand? I don’t even understand.

We stayed that way, facing each other, until I fell asleep.

*<3*

When I woke up the next morning, I was under the covers. My jacket and pants were off and Trevor was gone. I was about to drift back to sleep, but I started to feel sick. I got up and ran to the bathroom, throwing up. I completely missed the toilet. My mom came in after me.

“Are you okay sweetie?” she asked.

“Morning sickness.” I mumbled. I hate being pregnant. Why didn’t I just get an abortion when I had the chance? Why am I even thinking this? There is no way I can kill my baby. Ever. No matter what happens.

“Oh, my poor baby.” my mother cooed. “Go lay down, I’ll clean this up and fix you some toast and eggs.”

“Thank you mom.” I said, walking to the bathroom connected to my room and brushing my teeth.

Why didn’t I think of that before?

*<3*

The next three weeks went on like that. I throw up, I eat, Trevor comes, we go out, I come back home, I go to sleep. Not to mention the part where Trevor takes off my pants every night after I have fallen asleep.

Trevor and I never kissed, and we aren’t officially bf/gf, but I’m sure that will all change soon.

“Pack your bags.” my mom said, coming into my room without knock again.

“Why?” I asked her.

“Because you’re going to California this week, then Washington, then Nevada, then Virginia, then South Carolina, and finally Texas.”

“I’m not going to Texas.” I told her.

“Oh, yeah. You hat Dallas Cowboys. I’ll tell her Florida.”

“Okay, but why am I going there?” I asked, just as clueless as before.

“You’re going house shopping with Trevor and his mother.” she answered. My mouth gaped.

“What? When she said that I thought she meant shop online.” I said, shocked.

“Nope. You have a month and one week to find a house and enroll in a school.”

“This must be expensive.” I said.

“Yeah, but she insisted you all go. She says the web doesn’t give you the vibe you need to buy a nice house.” she said. “How are those morning sickness pills working?”

“Amazing. And I need to go to the store and get some more before I leave.”

“Honey, did you tell him?” she asked.

“No.”

“You have to tell him soon. You’re already seven weeks.”

“Yeah? And I’m not showing at all!” I snapped on her. These mood swings are going to get me killed.

“Yes you are.” she said, thankfully ignoring my attitude. “You’re getting curvier and your boobs are getting bigger.”

“Only a little.” I answered her, still a little upset.

“Tell him soon please.” she said.

“Okay, mom. I will tell him as soon as we move into a house together.” I said. I think I love Trevor, and to lose him over a lie would be stupid. I just don’t know how to tell him.

“Fine, but don’t lie about it if he asks you sweetie.” she said.

“I’m scared.” I said, starting to tear up. I really hate these mood swings.

“Scared of what?” she asked, coming over to me and rubbing my back.

“Scared that he wont love me. Who wants to live with someone they don’t love for their whole life?” I asked, sobbing now.

“It’s okay honey. Trevor loves you. I know he does. I’m going to pack your things and you can go to the store and get what you need. Trevor will be here in an hour to pick you up.” she said. “Did you kiss that boy yet?” she asked, making me show a small smile.

“Mom! No, it’s complicated.”

“Sure is. He takes off your pants and jacket every night and leaves around 3am every morning. I think he deserves something.” My light brown face turned red. I didn’t think she knew about the pants-jacket thing. And I had no idea he left at 3am every morning.

“Kissing him will only make me feel worse about myself.” I said. I instinctively put a hand on my stomach. “I’ll see you soon mom.”

“Wait I got you something.” my mom said.

“What is it?” I asked.

She pulled an iPhone 4 out of her pocket.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I screeched. “But I have to go.” I said, pecking her on the cheek and running out of my room.

I went to my car and drove to the Walgreens down the street. I skipped the pads and the tampons and went straight to the pregnancy aisle. I got about four bottles of those pills. I cannot afford to run out of those pills right about now. I got another toothbrush, tooth paste, mouthwash, two pairs of slipper socks, some sour gummy worms, some twizzlers, two bags of hot fries, and three packs of gum.

I was checking out right as Trevor walked in.

“Hi, Cass.” he said coming up to me, giving me a hug. I watched as the cashier looked him p and down and started to feel jealous.

“Hey, Trevor.” I said.

“$18.50.” The cashier said.

“I got it.” Trevor said. He took out his wallet.

“No, it’s fine. I can’t expect you to pay for everything.” I said.

“Just one more time.” he begged, giving me his thousand-dollar smile. The slid the cashier a twenty. “Give her the change.” he said as he walked away. Of course he wouldn’t give her the exact amount. Trevor was always buying me things.

As I grabbed my bags and walked to the car I realized I had to do one more thing before I left Georgia for good.