Hello, Can You Please Stop Haunting Me?

A soft Jazz melody drifted around the space and combined with the warm atmosphere of the coffee house, tinged with the scent of freshly baked pastries and the delicate aroma of coffee, Eliza felt at ease. The stress that had been gripping her muscles, making her ache for the past couple of weeks were slowly flowing out of the tips of her fingers as she exhaled. The throbbing in her head slowly receded and the world, for once, seemed like a better place.

Funny how all of those sensations were happening in a coffee house, she thought.

The girls had left an hour ago. She stayed a little while longer because she asked Zachary Harper to meet her at the coffee house at 5 o’clock. Jeremy was gone for the day, yet again. A growing concern for her invisible friend made her heart ache terribly, remembering all of the stories he told her that night when he suddenly reappeared when she was fast asleep.

She heard the sound of a chair being dragged across the floor across from her. She ignored it.

“Sorry, chores. You know how mothers are,” Zach said, a sheepish smile tugging his slightly thin lips. Eliza nearly shot back that no. She didn’t know how mothers were exactly because her own mother was seldom at home. Somehow after ‘scolding’ her mom, she felt frustrated and guilty all at the same time. And that caused her to be a bit erratic. The large mug filled with hot mocha touched her lips. She needed something to refrain herself from saying things that she’ll regret later on.

“It’s okay,” she said, finally able to smile politely at Zach. She was in an odd state of drowning in a mixture of feelings. For one thing, she felt calm and tranquil because of the atmosphere but with Zach in front of her, looking ready to explain everything whether or not Eliza was going to believe him made her tense. Her body didn’t exactly know how to react to the contrasting feelings.

“I’ll get straight to the point…Eliza, right?” he said.

“Yep. Um, aren’t you going to get something?” She asked.

He shook his head and said, “I’m good. I need to get back soon anyway.”

“Okay then. So you were saying?”

“You do realize, I can’t see Jeremy right?”

“Of course you can’t,” she chuckled lightly, feeling awkward that they were even discussing about this. “He’s not here.”

He laughed. It was a deep, slightly throaty laugh. “No, I mean, I can’t see him. As in even if he’s with you, I can’t see him. I can sense, but not hear or see.”

“I’m confused. Exactly how can you…?” She trailed off. She felt so awkward, so out-of-place. And she realized that she wasn’t talking but instead, she was somewhat whispering, as if afraid that if someone overheard their conversation, they’d be sent to an asylum and left there to rot for the rest of their lives.

But Zach looked as if this was normal. As if the conversation itself was something so completely ordinary and that the fact that his dead friend was floating around her was something that happened in people’s lives often. It kind of creep her out but at the same time, she was deeply intrigued.

She fidgeted. Maybe he was that type of person. The straight-forward, didn’t-give-a-damn-of-what-people-think kind of person. She felt intimidated, all of a sudden.

“Frankly, I’m not sure. For some reason, ever since Jeremy…jumped, I always felt something weird but eerily familiar. And it’s such a specific feeling, concentrating on one particular spot. And that spot is around you, almost all the time. It’s just…strange.”

“I’m not his best friend,” Zach continued. “I’m not even that close to him. We always hang out at school, but never outside of it.”

“So you’re just…really, freakishly sharp and aware?” Eliza said, feeling a tad disappointed. And it showed when Zach chuckled.

“What? Expecting that I’ve got—” he paused for mock dramatic effect, “—The Eye?”

Eliza snorted nervously. It was true; she did expect something a little bit more…exciting, probably. It seemed as if every event up in her life ever since she ran to reach for Jeremy’s hand to no avail was filled with unexplained adventure and mysteries, and a sense of maturity afterwards. There were probably a lot more people who, like Jeremy, suffered through all of their pain, silently. Alone. It was a disturbing thought that seemed to have plagued her nights, to keep her from being calm. Because there was always a little voice, speaking from deep inside her heart, that even though she wanted to help these kinds of people, she couldn’t save all of them.

She couldn’t even save herself.

And that last thought was the most frightening one. What did it mean? She didn’t understand.

“He’s been depressed lately,” Eliza whispered. “I don’t know what to do.”

And the feeling of guilt, the feeling of sadness all came bursting out of the surface, making her eyes glassy. She suddenly didn’t know how to speak, as if there was a football stuck in her throat. Seeing someone committing a suicide was probably the highlight of her life. It awakens the troubles that she had set to sleep deep within herself, the troubles that she had been ignoring. And it scared her. It scared her that if these problems get so overwhelming, that she’d be too weak. That one day she couldn’t get up from a battle, that she’d rather stay down and to never fight again.

That one day, she would give up too.

And Jeremy, it was as if she was witnessing the recap of an already-dead-person. He wanted to escape from his own feelings, just to be thrown back into that pit of darkness again. Only it just got more awful because instead of being capable of doing something, anything, he could only stand by and watch helplessly.

Then, an idea struck Eliza.

“Zach, thank you. Really, it’s relieving to know that I have someone to share this secret with now,” she said, her voice filled with so much sincerity that Zach began to wonder if the girl was being stressed out by her current situation. Zach could only smile and nod. “But I must go now,” she said.

“Where to?”

“Jeremy. There’s something I must do.”

“Which is…?”

“Something I failed to do when he was alive.”