Hello, Can You Please Stop Haunting Me?

Eliza pulled her cream-colored, oversize cardigan around her tightly. The sun was slowly setting, casting an array of pale violet and fiery orange color to the sky which of course, attracted a couple of photographers and tourists to view the magnificent scenery. A part of her wished she wasn’t on the streets of Marine Drive that evening. There was just something so sorrowful and heavy trying to drag her away from going there that day but what other choice did she have?

When she arrived next to Jeremy who was sitting on one of the rusty chains, she faced away from him like she always did when they were about to discuss something emotional and mushy that would probably make Eliza all sad and depressed. She couldn’t bear to look him in the eye. Not yet.

“You’re still here, huh?” She jokingly teased, making sure her lips weren’t moving too much or else someone would think she was going insane. “I thought after apologizing to Zach, you would instantly disappear.”

“Apparently,” he said, “I had one last thing to do.”

“Figured it out yet?”

“Yes.”

“Congratulations,” Eliza answered.

They rested there, enjoying the sunset and indulging in the comfortable silence.

“Have you done it? Have you met the person?”

He laughed. It wasn’t a joyful laugh. It was almost cynical. “Oh yes,” he said bitterly. “I’ve met him every single day of my life. I didn’t know why it never occurred to me before.”

“Who is he?”

His lips parted a couple of times before he settled on the decision to not to tell Eliza.

“I wish…” he trailed off, looking down to his feet. “I wish that I’ve met you when I was alive. If I did…if I’ve met you before I killed myself, I would probably still be alive right now,” he whispered.

“You’ve made a mistake, Jeremy,” she whispered. “We are all imperfect.”

“I’ve made a huge one. I would never get a second chance in this life.”

“Forgive and forget. You have to learn to forgive yourself, Jeremy. You’ve been too hard on yourself for too long, frankly,” she said, a weary smile tugged her lips as a sudden realization hit her. “It’s you, isn’t it? You’re the last person.”

“I’m the last person,” he repeated, sounding resolute. “The only problem is I can’t forgive myself. I can’t bring myself…to forgive myself,” he said, shaking his head. “I practically killed my little sister, Eliza. I killed her,” he continued, his voice breaking.

“It’s tragic, really,” she answered. “But you can’t blame yourself on that accident. She wouldn’t want this. Emily wouldn’t want you to continue on like this, continuously blaming yourself day by day. Everything happens for a reason, remember that. Fate can be a bitch sometime but what’s important is how…we…as humans deal with the shit that fate throws at us.”

He was silent and continued gazing out at the ocean that took his life.

“Are you happy with Zach?” He whispered and an involuntary smile appeared on Eliza’s face.

“Yes,” she whispered, beaming.

He smiled too. “I’m glad.”

He closed his eyes and clenched his fists. “Eliza, if I leave...” he trailed off. “If I leave, would you remember me?”

Eliza’s eyes swelled with hot tears and she silently blinked them away, brushing her cheeks with her thumb. “Of course I will, silly!” She said, laughing a little. “You’re my best friend. And I’ll always…always remember you. So promise me that you won’t forget me either.”

“Never,” he said, grinning.

She turned around when she felt the familiar sensation of his touch against her skin. “Jeremy…” she trailed off as he took her hand in his. He studied Eliza’s features, trying to paint a picture in his head. Her skin was pale due the coldness of the weather and her cheeks were a shade of rosy red. Her eyes were filled with so much sadness that Jeremy couldn’t help but to feel depressed himself.

“And here I thought you’d be happy when I finally get to move on,” he whispered into her ear. She shook her head in protest.

“I am happy but...I’m just selfish, I suppose,” she said, wiping away her tears with her sleeve. “I would just really miss you. And you can’t be in this life forever,” she said, her voice was strained and awkward due to the fact that she felt as if there was something stuck in her throat, straining her voice. Fresh tears spilled on her cheeks, trickling down to her chin. Every time she wiped them away, new ones would fall down. She hid her face slightly away from the public. Everyone was a couple of feet away from them anyway, trying to take pictures of the Golden Gate Bridge.

“Me too. I’ll miss you so much.”

He took her in his arms and embraced her lovingly. And Eliza could feel it once more. It was as if he was there. But unlike Zach’s heartbeat, Jeremy’s heartbeat could barely be heard. It was growing fainter and fainter every minute or so.

“I’m tired,” he whispered, his eyes closed. For the first time in what felt to be so many years, Jeremy could feel his muscles relax. And right at that moment, every single burden that he carried seemed to evaporate away into the evening.

“I love you, you know that right?” Eliza whispered back and he nodded silently.

“I love you too.”

Eliza held him tighter, unable to stop her tears now. But even so, she could feel him going away. When she looked at him, parts of him were slowly fading away and he didn’t feel as solid as he was before. She felt his warm hand on her cheek, brushing away the tears and his lips on her forehead.

“Thank you for always being there for me, even if I am not alive,” he said, his voice sounding distant.

“No,” she said, sobbing as she shook her head. “Thank you. I love you so much, always remember that.”

As he completely disappeared, the wind blew around the streets rapidly and Eliza swore she could hear Jeremy’s voice saying “goodbye”, carried by the wind. She stood in the middle of the cold and fell down to her knees, hugging her waist tightly as she cried harder.

Goodbye.