Children Of The Damned

Eliana

What was I supposed to do about Damon? Was he really so convinced that everyone hated him that he would continue to put on the act? I didn’t think so. I was sure he was just afraid. But there was nothing I could do about it.

The day after the party I went straight from school to the hospital. They said only family was allowed to visit the room, but when I told the nurse I was his girlfriend, she was nice enough to make an exception.

He was sleeping when I came in the room. He looked so peaceful, and the scene might have been normal if it weren’t for the IV of blood and a saline solution hooked up to his arm. His neck was bandaged with clean, white gauze. His chest moved slowly up and down, and that was when I knew for sure that he would be fine. At least physically.

I sat in the chair next to his bed and put my hands over his left one. His eyes fluttered open.

“Hey, beautiful.” His clear blue eyes brightened as he smiled.

“Wow. They must have given you the good stuff,” I joked, and he laughed before wincing a little. He tried to cover it up with another smile, but I caught the flash of pain that had gone over his face.

“It still hurts.” I rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb. “I heard animal attacks are common in Mystic Falls.”

“Yeah. It happened to my sister.”

“You never told me you had a sister.”

“Yeah. She died. Drug overdose. I guess whatever druggie was with her at the time tried to bury her. Caroline found her when she broke down on a back road in the woods.”

I could tell Matt was trying not to cry. “God, I’m sorry, Matt. I shouldn’t have asked. I came here to make you feel better, and look what a great job I’m doing.”

“You are making me feel better. I’m glad someone is here to visit me. You’re the first one.”

I remembered that the nurse had said only family was allowed. Matt’s family was gone, either dead or off living a life without him. Suddenly I just felt even more sad for him, and yet I was very proud of him at the same time. After all the things he had gone through, he was such a good, kind person. It was a wonder he was so nice to everyone.

“I brought you your homework, in case you wanted to get it done.”

“Maybe later,” he said. “Hey. Do you want to watch Star Wars with me. It’s on t.v.”

“I will admit, I am a sucker for Star Wars. What episode is on?”

“Episode five.”

He patted the empty space on the bed next to me and I laid down next to him, resting my head on his shoulder.

A few minutes into the movie, I must have fallen asleep, because suddenly, I wasn’t in the hospital anymore. Instead, I found myself standing in a cemetery on a wintry day.

The coat I wore didn’t protect me well enough from the harsh wind and the bitter cold, and I knew that blood had flushed my cheeks. My fingers had gone numb. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye, and turned to see who it was. There was no one there. Juts a crow, perched on a headstone, looking at me with curious dark eyes.

I turned around again, and nearly ran into Damon.

“What are you dong out here, Ana? It’s not safe.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, confused. What was he doing in my dream?

“You should stay away from me,” he warned, all the while circling me as if I were his prey. “You’re not safe here.”

“I don’t believe you,” I said, knowing that he used others fear of him to keep a barrier from himself and the rest of the world.

“You should.”

______________________________________________________

I woke up,, my head resting on Matt’s shoulder, totally confused by my weird dream. Something about it scared me, even though there wasn’t any real reason to be afraid. Nothing had really jumped out at me or tried to hurt me. There had just been that warning: “You should stay away from me.”

“You fell asleep on me,” Matt said, running a hand through my hair.

“I’m sorry. I guess I was more tired than I thought.” I looked up at the clock above the door. It was almost nine o’ clock.

“I should probably be going. Do you know when they are going to let you go home?”

“They said they needed to get some test results back, but after that I can go home. So…tomorrow sometime.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay. I was so scared.” I gave him a firm kiss on the mouth.

“Well,” he started, cheeks flushed. “I’ll try not to get mauled by any wild animals again anytime soon.”

“Oh, you’re hilarious,” I said sarcastically, glaring at him. But I couldn’t keep it up long enough when he was looking at me like that.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked, hopeful.

“Yeah. Just call me and let me know when they are going to let you out and I’ll pick you up. Stefan already took your truck home for you, so you’re going to need a ride.”

“Tell him I said ‘thanks’.”

“Will do. Now, I am going to go before one of the nurses comes in a and yells at me for being here past visiting hours.”

Matt gave my hand a firm squeeze before he let me slide off the hospital bed. I walked out to the parking lot, dodging nurses in the hallways as I went. I managed to get past the front desk without being seen by anyone important.

Once in the underground parking lot, I found my car by hitting the unlock button on my keys. I hated underground parking lots. I had seen way too many horror movies to ever see them as an innocent place again.

Once got in the car, I jammed the keys into the ignition and started the car. I didn’t know why I was feeling so jumpy, but I wanted tom get out of the dark night and into my own bed as soon as possible. I cranked up the music on my stereo as I pulled out of the parking lot and started driving down the road to my house.

The moon was nearly full, and it gave me comfort as I pulled up into my driveway. I looked up as I got out of the car and saw a giant crow sitting on the Victorian style lamp post outside my house, watching me.

I looked back at the crow as if we were in some kind of staring contest, and then the sound of it’s crowing pierced my concentration.

I shook my head, surprised at how weird I was being, and unlocked the front door to let myself inside. The house was quiet. My parents had gone to bed without waiting up for me to see if I made it home okay. They didn’t even know where I had been. Great. If I was killed, at least I knew they wouldn’t be the first ones to wonder where I had disappeared to.

“Home sweet home,” I said. But now I was just moping, which was pathetic. I chastised myself for expecting anything different from my parents, anything out of the ordinary. It had taken a deranged stalker for them to notice me the first time. Nothing earth-shattering had happened to me tonight. So, of course they were just going to go back to their usual routine of working from sunup to sundown on their stocks, and then going to bed, all without really saying a word to me that showed they cared about me more than the figures they saw on their computer screens.

I took a hot shower to wash the antiseptic hospital smells from my body, then changed into my favorite pair of gray sweats and my oversized “I’d Rather Be Giving Blood” t-shirt from BloodSource. I took pride in being a frequent donor.

But I wasn’t tired now, not after my nap in the hospital. So I pulled out the journal I hadn’t made an entry in since I left California.

November 3rd, 2010

Dear Diary,

I thought as soon as I moved away from California all my problems would go away. I thought the incident in California would be a wake up call for my parents. I hoped they would finally realize that they had spent my entire life ignoring me. They said they only wanted to give me the things they never had, but they never mentioned that I would have to trade my parents in order to live the lifestyle they had always wanted for me.

School is school, of course. I am still doing everything in my power to be as perfect as possible. I take advanced classes. I have perfect grades. I volunteer, just like I did in California. For whatever reason, I thought I would belong here. But I just feel more alone. As much as everyone has welcomed me, I still feel like I will never fit in. And really, that’s all I ever wanted, to fit in. I should have known it wasn’t going to be that easy.

Bonnie, Elena, Stefan, and Matt or the only ones I can even remotely consider friends. And they still know nothing about me.

Matt…he is so kind to me, and I wish I could give him more. Because he deserves more than what I can give him. This tiny little piece of me that I put forth for others is not what he should get. He should be with someone who will love him the way I can’t. I know they say that you can learn to love someone over time, but is that really what I want? I don’t want to have to force myself to feel something for him that I can’t. If I couldn’t love in California, what makes me think I could do it now. And meanwhile, the only two people I have ever truly loved, the ones whose approval I look for the most, don’t even know I’m here. I guess that’s more pathetic than anything else.