Status: Finished; sequel in progress.

Reasons For This Lifestyle You Call Suicide

Sucking Too Hard on a Lollipop

"Peter Wentz, what the fuck are you doing?!" Jennifer yelled at the top of her lungs, "AND AT FOUR IN THE MORNING?"

We were back in Chicago for a few days and I was sitting outside.... burning stuff.

They were songs written about her
Pictures of me and her
letters to her
then the magazines...
their lies, their assumptions about me and her

I looked at her and she looked at me. Our brown eyes clashed glares. I shouldn't of let her be so close to me. She can read me so well. Her eyes softened, almost to tears. I couldn't budge. I can't let her get close to me. It's wrong. It's October and I've been able to avoid any unfriendly contact with her. I've been keeping myself to Ashlee, but always, she was on my mind. Soon it came out on paper, Patrick thinking it was of my past girlfriends or about Ashlee. Then the letters that I stashed in my luggage from everyone else. If I was gonna let her go, I had to do something to make me forget her. Especially with Halloween coming up and her going to go see Iero for his birthday with Patrick.

"Nothin, Jen. Go back to bed."

"Pete, seriously, what's wrong? You've been so jumpy when I walk into a room. I thought we were okay. Things were find 'til next week. You're not on anything are you?"

"Just this lawn chair," I smiled, "Really Jenny, go to bed. 'Trick is prolly wonderin where you are."

She walked up to me and hugged me tightly. I felt her warmth against my right cheek and the cool dawn wind stopped freezing me. The other side was burning to a crisp from the fire. I wrapped my arms around, just to give her comfort.

Just to make her feel like nothing was wrong.
To live my dream for me and have a happy ending.
"I'm gonna go back to LA. Congrats by the way Jen. You two are gonna be an awesome couple."

"Oh, you heard the proposal. Well, I'm suprised that Joe and Andy didn't hear it... He did sing a lot." she laughed, sliding her arms to her sides and straigtening her back.,"I heard that you proposed to Ashlee, but I know you better, you would of said something to us."

"No, we're not getting married. We're still on the first step. I like it there too. That means we won't be that old married couple that yell at each other until they go to heaven."

"Cruel, you can still have a perfectly happy life while married. Patrick and I will prove your theory on old people wrong."

I still got that tugging in my heart, reaching out for her. I saw it in her eyes, though, she didn't want me like that anymore. She needed me to be there for her as her friend.

"The wedding is in January..." she mumbled, "and I'm sure Patrick would love it if you'd be his best man."

"I'm already his best man. He doesn't have to ask me twice."

Jen smiled and walked back into the house... I'm starting to wonder how she wasn't freezing in her pajama pants, Patrick's shirt, and the most ironic Clandestine hoodies. I'm sure you can make that conclusion. LA plane tomorrow morning. Band back on tour in 3 days. Fall Out Boy will take a break in January I guess.... I hope they set up a smoothie bar, just for me so I don't get drunk from the wedding ceremony. I know it now, I'm not gonna be happy.