Reasons For This Lifestyle You Call Suicide

"You really aren't grounding all your dreams of seeing California. Well, you ARE living out there," Joe laughed.

I rolled my eyes at his stupid pun of my lyrics, our song. Patrick and Jen were singing some song, passing time with me in the airport. I hugged Joe and Andy good-bye. So did they. We walked through the security checkpoint. They scanned me twice, for some weird reason.

They were off to Newark. I was off to LA.
My flight was right. Their flight was left.

"Going home to see Ashlee?" Patrick smiled.
"Yeah, and Hemmingway, can't leave the baby home alone."

He gave me a hug and ruffled my hair, making me have to brush it down again.
"I'll see you in a couple weeks, we've got to do some writing again."
"Definitely, you gonna come out and see me?"
"Most likely, Jen hasn't seen your house yet."
I turned to her, "That's right! You'll like it, it's huge and you can sleep with Hemmy, he'd love that."

She stared at me, her eyes reflecting me reflection, her gaze deep.
She had no words for me what so ever to 'Trick and my conversation.
She gripped Patrick's hand and held on to his arm.
She was contemplating her life in her hands.
I knew it.....
I lowered my bag and hugged her firmly and kissed her forehead.

"This isn't goodbye,
this is not the first time
I'd be leaving you here.
You've got the world to see
and I'd hate to leave things
the way they've been
So when you're done
I'll be here.
We'll be here."

I smiled and ruffled her hair. I didn't have Patrick's voice, but I think the words came out right. Patrick smiled at me, "Write that down, it might come in handy."
Start to write, for her?

"Life ain't fair Pete, but goodbyes never seem to be the ending with you," she smirked.

"That sounded insulting," I laughed.

"Treat my words however you want to, but listen to me...." she thought her words out, probably coding it so Patrick wouldn't understand, or to make sure I got the message...

"This won't be another 'Cat and Mouse' event. Either you take it now and never at all. I'm getting the gold at the end of the rainbow and the fantasy world is going to pop one day. Smashed into bits like a the glass orb. Take those words and think about it. I'll see you in November. I won't be on the rest of the tour."

That was news to me and Patrick. He looked at her quizzedly, but she took her bags and started walking to their terminal.

"What was---" Patick tried to asked, but he was really confused.

"She's your fiance, maybe she'll explain it to you. Then you can call me and tell me what that was about." I mumbled.
We waved as he made a mad dash for her.

goodbye