Reasons For This Lifestyle You Call Suicide

tour has been great. we have been trying to whip out a couple of suprises every few nights. the weather is getting hot and sticky. there are so many things to talk about but honestly id rather just thank those to who don't believe every single thing they read or hear. we are working on something pretty fun, hopefully it will be online in the next couple of days. actually two things- one audio and one visual.

also, anyone who has been speaking to peteyxwentz on ao instant messenger is not speaking to me. that screenname has been hacked.

but to be honest with you. im not even too mad. the kids i have been meeting everyday have been so positive that it makes up for everything else thats going on ever. thank you for being supportive. little words mean alot.

fall tour with gym class heroes. yes

I put my laptop on hybernate and closed it. I glanced to my right to see Jen completely engrossed in some magazines she bought. During the tour she noticed how much she didn't know. Of course, she's been asking me questions constantly about the media. A month has gone by and she was sucking on the last blow-pop in the bag. Patrick walked on the bus with a water in his hand. He opened the bag up and frowned, seeing no more lollipops.

"What?!" he yelled, "No more? Come on, I just bought this bag like, 4 hours ago!"

"We like sucking on something, jeez Patrick." I scoffed, lightly joking.

Jennifer and Patrick gave me a glare, but on Jen's face was a screwed up looking smile/frown. She was trying to be serious, but she cracked because it WAS funny.

She sighed and threw 'Trick a Blow Pop, "Chill, I saved you a cherry."

His mood brightened and he unwrapped it, sucking on it and sitting next to Joe to play a racing game on the X-Box. I yawned and scooted next to Jenny, laying my head on her shoulder to see what she was reading.

"So you're with Ashlee now?" she smirked.

"Yup," I said quickly.

Yeah, about that... let me fill you in on some itty bitty details....

Jen didn't remember about me saying I love you to her. She thought I was just saying it playfully when I brought it up. So I laughed and said I was. The whole thing about Patrick, was that she was trying to tell me that Patrick and her were going to leave in the morning to buy her some clothes and wanted to know if I'd like to go with. Of course, I went with. I like shopping. Since then, I got back with Ashlee and things have been great. She'll be releasing a new album and I'm on tour with my best friends. The only thing that still bugs the shit out of me was the tabloids beating me down.

Jen ruffled my hair and flipped the page. I could hear her move the lollipop in her mouth to the other side, making her head shift. Oh, another thing... Patrick and her started dating about a week ago. I felt a little bit of pain from it, but I couldn't show it. He'd be hurt to know that I still have feelings for her. I don't know how she'd react to my confession and who knows what Ashlee would do.

Life's too fucked up for me to start pouting about my life. It's screwy like Joe's hair. Yeah, that metaphor makes no sense, but imagine it, suck on it like my Blow Pop, and smile. I'm such a weirdo. heh.

She quietly set her Seventeen magazine down and hugged me. I hugged her back and then scooted a little bit a away, so nothing got awkward.

"Okay," Jenny smiled, "I'm makin' breakfast so I need to know what you guys want."

"Pancakes!" I gasped.

"Hash browns," Patrick licked his lips and tilted his body to the side. Must of been driving out of the way of something.

"Food... I just want real food. Remember, I eat kosher." Joe said, gripping the control tightly to go faster.

"Omlette, with veggies please," Andy said, smiling watched the guys play their game.

"It'll sorta be like a belated birthday suprise for you Petey. Since we were extremely busy on your birthday in New York and you went out to dinner with your parents," Jen listed.

"oooh, thank you!" I cooed sweetly, giving her a tight hug.

"No problem," she giggled, hugging me back.

She got up and pounced on Patrick. He started laughing and she took his controller, half lying on him and half on Joe. She sped past Joe, being sideways, and won the race. Joe complained that Patrick can't use secret weapons like his awesome girlfriend to win games. She just smirked.

"You guys were taking forever and I'd like him to go to bed with me now, thank you," she said sweetly.

I raised my eyebrows at Patrick and he pulled my hood over my head.

"Sleeping, idiots. You should try it someday." 'Trick laughed, being dragged by Jen.

"I would, but I ran out of it!" I laughed.

The guys started heading off to bed. Joe was calling his girlfriend and I decided to do the same.

"Hey," I heard Ashlee say.

"Sorry it's late, but I'm so bored," I smiled into the phone.

"Awh, it's okay honey, but I'm kinda tired." she said, lightly yawning on the phone.

"Oh, okay..." I trailed, hearing Patrick and Jenny laughing in the Harry Potter section. Andy was probably rolling his eyes. Joe kept talking lightly on the phone. I was feeling lonely....

"Call me a bit earlier. It's 3 in the morning. I love you."

"Love you too. Night."

I snapped my phone shut.