You're Still an Innocent
Lost Your Mind Trying to Get it Back
Chad pulled up to Castle Bam and killed the engine of his car. He sighed heavily and knew what would await him inside the home. He made his way towards the door and prepared himself for yet another night with his friend.
Bam had been home from the hospital for three days and already he was getting back into his old habits. April and Phil had tried to push him into a rehabilitation center as soon as he had gotten home but this had just made things worse. Bam had flown off the handle at the idea and causing his parents to flee from his home with heavy hearts. Jess, who had witnessed the entire episode, launched at his brother as soon as his parents had left. Taking Bam by complete surprise, Jess and Bam hit the ground and began throwing punches. It took Chad and Cleveland a few minutes to pull the two apart.
‘What the fuck Jess?!’ Bam screamed wiping the blood from his split lip.
‘I’m so fucking sick and tired of seeing you act like this!’ Jess yelled ripping himself from Cleveland’s grasp. ‘You know what Bam, I hope you’re fucking happy. You can sit in this fucking hell hole of a house, by yourself, and drink yourself to fucking death. Leave me, my family, and mom and dad alone. ‘Cause you’ve been doing nothing but tearing everything apart. And stop blaming all your fucking problems on Ryan. You were like this long before Ryan fucking died.’
Jess turned on his heel, ripped open the front door, and slammed it shut. Bam pulled himself from Chad’s grasp and walked over to the wall and slammed his head repeatedly into the wall.
‘Bam!’ Chad said jumping over a chair and running over to his friend. ‘Fucking stop it!’
Chad grabbed him and pulled him away from the wall as the tears started pouring down Bam’s face.
Now, here Chad stood, once again in Bam’s living room. Bam was lying on the floor in the middle of the living room with a bottle of rum in his hand.
‘Bam…’ Chad said staring at him. He got no reply. Chad sighed and laid down next to his friend and pulled the bottle out of Bam’s hand. ‘Dude, you gotta fucking stop this shit, man.’
‘I fucking can’t Chad.’
‘Bam, look at yourself. You’re driving yourself to insanity. You know this isn’t right. You know it’s not healthy. You pushed Missy away and lost your marriage. Then you hooked up with Tammy and lost her too. Then you had all those other sluts off and on and you lost all of them because of this. You’ve lost most of your friends. Now you’re losing your family. I’m the fucking last thing you have besides your cats. And Bam, to be completely fucking honest, I don’t know how much longer I can deal with you.’
Bam didn’t say a word so Chad continued.
‘Look, I know I have my own issues with alcohol too. So, I’m not really one to talk. But, you and I both know you’re worse than all of us. I was checking out some shit online the other day, a lot of your fans are really concerned about you. They think you’re going to end up killing yourself if you don’t get better. And a lot of them have grown to hate the person you’ve become.’ Chad again sighed and sat up, bringing his knees to his chest and laying his arms on his knees. ‘Dude, you have to change. You really do. It’s just a matter of you wanting to. Take some time, when you’re actually sober and look around you. At your life and where it’s going.’
The two friends sat in silence for a while, just letting everything that had happened mull in their minds. Chad held onto a hope that Bam would take everything he had said into consideration and actually go into rehab on his own. Chad knew Bam couldn’t be forced; he had to actually want to fix everything. After a few hours of silence, Bam got up and made his way up to his room.
‘Thanks Chad.’
Chad looked up to see Bam standing at the top of the stairs. Chad nodded and gave Bam a small smile. Bam turned and made his way into his room. Chad heard the familiar sounds of Bam’s mattress creek as Bam laid down. Chad got up and got comfy on the couch. He knew it was going to be a peaceful night for once.
Bam had been home from the hospital for three days and already he was getting back into his old habits. April and Phil had tried to push him into a rehabilitation center as soon as he had gotten home but this had just made things worse. Bam had flown off the handle at the idea and causing his parents to flee from his home with heavy hearts. Jess, who had witnessed the entire episode, launched at his brother as soon as his parents had left. Taking Bam by complete surprise, Jess and Bam hit the ground and began throwing punches. It took Chad and Cleveland a few minutes to pull the two apart.
‘What the fuck Jess?!’ Bam screamed wiping the blood from his split lip.
‘I’m so fucking sick and tired of seeing you act like this!’ Jess yelled ripping himself from Cleveland’s grasp. ‘You know what Bam, I hope you’re fucking happy. You can sit in this fucking hell hole of a house, by yourself, and drink yourself to fucking death. Leave me, my family, and mom and dad alone. ‘Cause you’ve been doing nothing but tearing everything apart. And stop blaming all your fucking problems on Ryan. You were like this long before Ryan fucking died.’
Jess turned on his heel, ripped open the front door, and slammed it shut. Bam pulled himself from Chad’s grasp and walked over to the wall and slammed his head repeatedly into the wall.
‘Bam!’ Chad said jumping over a chair and running over to his friend. ‘Fucking stop it!’
Chad grabbed him and pulled him away from the wall as the tears started pouring down Bam’s face.
Now, here Chad stood, once again in Bam’s living room. Bam was lying on the floor in the middle of the living room with a bottle of rum in his hand.
‘Bam…’ Chad said staring at him. He got no reply. Chad sighed and laid down next to his friend and pulled the bottle out of Bam’s hand. ‘Dude, you gotta fucking stop this shit, man.’
‘I fucking can’t Chad.’
‘Bam, look at yourself. You’re driving yourself to insanity. You know this isn’t right. You know it’s not healthy. You pushed Missy away and lost your marriage. Then you hooked up with Tammy and lost her too. Then you had all those other sluts off and on and you lost all of them because of this. You’ve lost most of your friends. Now you’re losing your family. I’m the fucking last thing you have besides your cats. And Bam, to be completely fucking honest, I don’t know how much longer I can deal with you.’
Bam didn’t say a word so Chad continued.
‘Look, I know I have my own issues with alcohol too. So, I’m not really one to talk. But, you and I both know you’re worse than all of us. I was checking out some shit online the other day, a lot of your fans are really concerned about you. They think you’re going to end up killing yourself if you don’t get better. And a lot of them have grown to hate the person you’ve become.’ Chad again sighed and sat up, bringing his knees to his chest and laying his arms on his knees. ‘Dude, you have to change. You really do. It’s just a matter of you wanting to. Take some time, when you’re actually sober and look around you. At your life and where it’s going.’
The two friends sat in silence for a while, just letting everything that had happened mull in their minds. Chad held onto a hope that Bam would take everything he had said into consideration and actually go into rehab on his own. Chad knew Bam couldn’t be forced; he had to actually want to fix everything. After a few hours of silence, Bam got up and made his way up to his room.
‘Thanks Chad.’
Chad looked up to see Bam standing at the top of the stairs. Chad nodded and gave Bam a small smile. Bam turned and made his way into his room. Chad heard the familiar sounds of Bam’s mattress creek as Bam laid down. Chad got up and got comfy on the couch. He knew it was going to be a peaceful night for once.