You're Still an Innocent
Always a Bigger Bed to Crawl Into
Bam woke up early the next day. He sat up and sighed. So much had changed in the last few years. He missed the days when everything was so easy and his only worries were landing the next trick on his skateboard he had been trying for weeks to master. He knew he had let everyone down lately; his family, his friends, Ryan, and even his fans. Trouble jumped up on the bed with a, “Meow!” Bam smiled at his cat and gave him a quick scratch.
“Things are going to get better.” He muttered to Trouble as he softly began to purr. “I’m going to get help.”
Bam had figured if he had said the words out loud again, it might relax his nerves. But in reality, it had only made him even more nervous. As he continued to stroke Trouble’s black & white coat, thoughts filled his head of rehab. He couldn’t shake that nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had tried rehab a few times before, and found it had never worked. In fact, he had tried it a few years ago when his family had sat him down for some bull shit intervention. He had left the clinic before the first two weeks had even passed. He had even once tried to go out to Promises in Malibu, which was well-known for its A-list clientele, beautiful views of the Pacific, and expensive fees, (it was more a vacation than a rehabilitation center) but a chance encounter with Brett Michael’s in Arizona during a layaway had him on the next flight home to Philadelphia. Brett had told him how he too had been to Promises and it was all a waste of time. He told stories of group kayaking trips, therapy sessions, and religious gatherings.
Bam was scared. There was no doubt about it. But there was something that felt different than the times before. This trip was not something anyone had forced him into; he had decided to go on his own. He was ready to put this behind him and move on to a more stable and healthy life. Pushing the blankets back and swinging his legs to the ground he yawned and stretched. He took a moment to glance around his bedroom, remembering everything about it. He stood, showered, and dressed. He went down stairs and woke Chad.
“Wanna drive me to the airport?” Bam asked him as Chad blinked and adjusted to the sunlight streaming in through the sliding glass doors in Bam’s living room.
“Of course, man.” Chad said sitting up and putting his shoes on. Bam smiled his thanks and went back up to his room where he picked his backpack up off the floor. Glancing around one last time, he shut the door and headed downstairs. He met Chad in the kitchen and the two headed out to the Hummer in silence. They climbed in and Chad got on the 202 heading for Philly. The drive was quiet; neither could really believe Bam was really going to do this. They pulled up to the front of the airport and Chad sighed.
“Will you, uh, take care of the cats for me?” Bam asked looking down at his shoes.
“Of course. Don’t worry, you take as long as you need out there and call us when you can. I’ll make sure everything gets settled here and break the news to Ape, Phil, and everyone.” Chad explained.
“Thanks, dude.” Bam said meeting Chad’s gaze finally.
“No problem. I just wanna see you get better, dude. I’ll help any way I can. You just let me know.” Chad said leaning over the center console and pulling Bam into a hug. “Just don’t worry about anything right now, but yourself. You’ll get through this.”
Bam gave Chad a smile and hopped out of the Hummer. With a quick wave, he headed inside to board his check in and board his flight.
Chad sighed as he watched his friend walk into the airport and put the Hummer into drive. He hoped Bam stayed this time and got the help he needed.
“Things are going to get better.” He muttered to Trouble as he softly began to purr. “I’m going to get help.”
Bam had figured if he had said the words out loud again, it might relax his nerves. But in reality, it had only made him even more nervous. As he continued to stroke Trouble’s black & white coat, thoughts filled his head of rehab. He couldn’t shake that nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had tried rehab a few times before, and found it had never worked. In fact, he had tried it a few years ago when his family had sat him down for some bull shit intervention. He had left the clinic before the first two weeks had even passed. He had even once tried to go out to Promises in Malibu, which was well-known for its A-list clientele, beautiful views of the Pacific, and expensive fees, (it was more a vacation than a rehabilitation center) but a chance encounter with Brett Michael’s in Arizona during a layaway had him on the next flight home to Philadelphia. Brett had told him how he too had been to Promises and it was all a waste of time. He told stories of group kayaking trips, therapy sessions, and religious gatherings.
Bam was scared. There was no doubt about it. But there was something that felt different than the times before. This trip was not something anyone had forced him into; he had decided to go on his own. He was ready to put this behind him and move on to a more stable and healthy life. Pushing the blankets back and swinging his legs to the ground he yawned and stretched. He took a moment to glance around his bedroom, remembering everything about it. He stood, showered, and dressed. He went down stairs and woke Chad.
“Wanna drive me to the airport?” Bam asked him as Chad blinked and adjusted to the sunlight streaming in through the sliding glass doors in Bam’s living room.
“Of course, man.” Chad said sitting up and putting his shoes on. Bam smiled his thanks and went back up to his room where he picked his backpack up off the floor. Glancing around one last time, he shut the door and headed downstairs. He met Chad in the kitchen and the two headed out to the Hummer in silence. They climbed in and Chad got on the 202 heading for Philly. The drive was quiet; neither could really believe Bam was really going to do this. They pulled up to the front of the airport and Chad sighed.
“Will you, uh, take care of the cats for me?” Bam asked looking down at his shoes.
“Of course. Don’t worry, you take as long as you need out there and call us when you can. I’ll make sure everything gets settled here and break the news to Ape, Phil, and everyone.” Chad explained.
“Thanks, dude.” Bam said meeting Chad’s gaze finally.
“No problem. I just wanna see you get better, dude. I’ll help any way I can. You just let me know.” Chad said leaning over the center console and pulling Bam into a hug. “Just don’t worry about anything right now, but yourself. You’ll get through this.”
Bam gave Chad a smile and hopped out of the Hummer. With a quick wave, he headed inside to board his check in and board his flight.
Chad sighed as he watched his friend walk into the airport and put the Hummer into drive. He hoped Bam stayed this time and got the help he needed.