It Wasn't Meant to Be Like This

Unlocking my front door with haste, I opened the door and shut the door behind me. I shrugged my jacket off, kicked my shoes off and sighed heavily.

I desperately needed a shower and some food. I stumbled into the bathroom, stripped and jumped into a nice hot shower. After 30 minutes of thinking in the shower, I finally got out and wrapped a towel around my waist. I quickly went to my room, finding some worn baggy navy blue sweatpants, a white t-shirt and a matching baggy zip-up hoodie.

I roughly dried my hair, shaking it out and padded into the kitchen. I got myself out a bowl, poured into a big bowl of Coco Pops and a generous amount of milk and sat on the counter, eating them loudly.

It was Wednesday and I should be at class, but I knew I wouldn’t be going in today. I could do some work at home though to catch up finally.

Just as I finished my breakfast, the front door opened and Jack came home.

Shit.

----

Waiting patiently, I listened as he finally walked into the kitchen.
Jack stalled, seeing me and stared at me.
I didn’t know how to react, so I simply stared back which I knew would piss him off. Jack looked at me, contemplating on to say something.

“Where the hell did you go?” he says finally, after long minutes of silence. I looked at him unimpressed.

“Out. I went out Jack.” I say coldly, jumping off the counter, skimming past him and retreating to my room. I picked up my camera. I put some socks on and my sneakers and grabbed my keys and wallet.

I left the flat in silence, not even bothering to announce I was leaving.

I knew things would have to finally be solved with Jack. But I was still pissed at him and until I was forced to sit down and talk. I was going to continue to act like a childish kid.

--

The clicking of the camera started to irritate me immensely as I took continuous pictures for my portfolio. I sighed dramatically as I took one last picture of the park scene. It was happy and careless as children played in the background, the laughter of children and adults playing. It was like a dream. I made sure now to get any faces though, as security was tight these days.

I let the camera hang around my neck, from it’s necklace. I walked over to the nearest bench, slumping down heavily and glaring bitterly into the ground.

Why did he always get the girl?
Why did he have to get her?
The most beautiful looking girl I have ever laid eyes on.

Elizabeth. God, I can’t stop saying her name. It was like a plague, a nasty disease that was infectious. Not a very dainty way of putting it was it was true. Elizabeth was a disease.

As I stared into space, thinking horrible scenarios of my best friend’s death or Elizabeth’s sudden ugliness coming alive. I hear a quiet ‘uh-hem’ coughing right behind me. I froze, confused as to whether I was trying to be communicated with or if I turned around, some kid was playing a joke on me.

I waited, for another sign and eventually curiosity got the best of me and I swung my head around. My mouth dropped slightly in shock, I blinked twice before realizing that Beth was standing right there, with a amused smile on her face.

“Hi stranger” she says brightly. Her hazel eyes looked more green today, flecks of gold in them as the sunlight was hitting it just right. I don’t know what made me do it, but before she could move. I lifted the camera up to my eye, focusing it and click. The moment, was caught forever.

Beth giggled slightly and I smiled feeling my cheeks burn, a giddy smile on my face.

“Um, sorry. Just…the light was perfect then” I say embarrassedly. She shakes her head as if dismissing a thought and walked towards me, eventually coming round the bench and sitting beside me, crossing one leg neatly over the other as she did.

I sit normally again, facing the children and nature park in front of us. Beth was watching it too, an intriguing smile on her face and I had the urge to ask her what she was thinking about.

“What?” I laugh slightly, seeing her grin slightly again. Beth released a small, cheerful laugh and leaned over to me almost, pointing in front of me.

A little girl, with bright blonde hair was crying and sobbing as a boy, about an inch taller then her with black scruffy hair looking guilty. The girl was clutching her pigtails and soon the boy was being scolded by the mother of the little girl. The boy looked terribly upset now. He looked apologetic as he talked to the little girl. Then, the little girl hugged the boy surprising him but he nevertheless hugged her just as tightly back.

I smiled, touched by the scene. “He has a crush on her” I observe wisely, remembering the good old days when by picking on the girl you liked was the coolest thing to do. Beth looked at me, amused again.

“I was hassled by this boy once when I was about 6 years old….for about three years he constantly picked on me, pulling my hair, pushing me over, calling me names, breaking my toys. You know, Kid Stuff?” Beth recalls. I nod silently, listening intently.

“And one day when I was about 11, and I was playing on the jungle gym and I fell off. I started crying as I broke my arm. No one helped me though, just stared at me for a while. The boy, he rushed forward and put his arm around me and told me that everything was going to be fine. I remember exactly what he said “It’s just a broken arm. It will be fixed” and I remember that I stopped crying.”

I stare in awe “What happened?” I ask interestedly.

“I was taken to hospital and two days later, he confessed that he liked me and wanted me to be his girlfriend and he was sorry. He brought my chocolate too” she teases.

I laugh, but couldn’t help feel pathetically envious. “So what happened to him?” I ask her. Beth sighs.

“Oh he moved away about a month later, never seen him since.” she says bluntly and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Long distance relationships never last at a young age” I tease and Beth finds it funny, as she giggles again.

A brief, yet comfortable silence settled over us. But soon, my damn conscious began to feel the pressure as I sat beside Beth in all her glory. I fidgeted slightly, until I finally sighed depressively. Beth glanced at me with confusion and I then I began to speak.

“I’m sorry for how I treated you last night. I was just pissed because I hadn’t seen Jack in so long and then I was meeting you and it just all got too much but it’s no excuse and I really am sorry” I babble out quickly, and Beth stared at me. She blinked once, her perfectly curled, mascara eyes at me then a full, teeth-flashing smile appeared at me. The joy in her eyes could have glowed on to me.

“It’s okay. I just didn’t understand why we pretended we hadn’t already met” she said lightly and I felt my heart tightened. My head screaming.

“BECAUSE I LIKE YOU AND SO JEALOUS OF MY BEST FRIEND!”

Instead, I smiled sympathetically. “It would have complicated things” I say bluntly and I made my tone assertive and hoped she didn’t ask for more specific detail as I wasn’t sure of how long I could keep my façade up.

The silence drowned me again and I knew ‘the ball was in my side of the court’ as Beth looked awkwardly at me then back to face the park.

“Can we start over?” I ask shyly, feeling myself almost blush. Beth looked at me again, giving me a genuine warm smile and a strong headed nod.

“I’d like that.” she says softly and I couldn’t help stare at her lips a second longer than necessary. It was unfortunate that I was so attracted to this girl and couldn’t stop fantasizing about her all the time. If I merely just met her with no attraction and she was dating Jack I would have made perfectly good friends, maybe even best friends which would have been brilliant. The Three Amigos.

But no, Fate, Destiny, God whoever ran our emotional and spiritually part of the world had decided that I must be incredibly attracted to Beth making me begin to resent her for liking Jack and Jack for stealing the girl I was incredibly attracted too.

It really is, very unfortunate.