It Wasn't Meant to Be Like This

Zoey was a riot. She really was, she was funny and came out with the most random sentences but in all, she was a nice girl. In fact, Zoey and I had become close friends.

Unfortunately, Zoey is rather bright. She wasn’t stupid, so it was no surprise that after a week of being in my presence with Beth and Jack, she told me that she knew.

She knew I was in love with her best friend. I was fucked.

It that this morning actually, I was minding my own business trying to find the coffee in the cupboard as Jack is a too lazy ass to refill the pot, Zoey comes wondering in, in some shorts and t-shirt. She was taking advantage of the sun as it’s cooler in New York apparently. She walks in, and steals my cup of coffee. I gritted my teeth, preparing a well biased argument.

When she tells me. Straight out, blurts it out in a too loud manner.

“You’re in love with Beth aren’t you?” she says as a question, but it wasn’t implied as one. I never knew how observant girls truly were. Of course, I tried to deny it.

“You been smoking pot?” I laugh, a bit nervously as I make myself another cup, sipping it as soon as I poured some milk in.

“No, and I never intend to. Finn, I’m not stupid nor blind. I see the way you look at Beth and she looks at you in that way too” Zoey wisely tells me. I roll my eyes, trying to act nonchalant.

“And how do I look at Beth?” I ask dryly, watching the door entrance in case Jack walked in suddenly.

“With adoration and love which I’ve only seen my Dad look at my Mum as. You’re in love with her and without her knowing Beth loves you too. She’s just too shy and scared to admit it” Zoey says softly, leaning on the counter, watching me carefully.

I scoff, wishing we could change the subject. “Scared?” I repeat.

“Beth’s afraid to fall in love, she’s scared that she’ll end up like her parents, divorced, bitter and alone. She’s scared to admit her true feelings Finn” Zoey says. I wanted to ask her what she was doing dancing, when she could easily be a physiatrist.

I stared in shock, knowing I couldn’t take anything back. I had unknowingly admitted to her that I was in fact in love with Elizabeth Carlton.

“How do you know this?” I ask worriedly, I was worried that Jack had told her to wind me up and to play a joke on me and as soon as I spilled my feelings, everything would be revealed.

“I know because Beth is my best friend and I know when she’s hiding something from me, I can read you too easily, you’re a guy in love.” Zoey says in a matter of fact tone.

I stared at her, stared at her waiting for her to crack. But she didn’t, she smiled with what I think is sympathy.

“I know you must find it hard, with Beth dating Jack” she whispers. I find myself nodding, feeling all of a sudden numb.

“You have no idea” I whisper, feeling drained. I felt relieved too, that someone else knew. I knew I didn’t have to hide it from someone else anymore. One less person I lied too.

“Look, I can’t force you two together. You will one day end up together because fate will always intervene but…I do know one thing Finn that could help you” Zoey says, putting her cup down and coming closer.

I put my cup down and leaned closer, interested. “What?” I ask, Zoey leans forward, so close from the outside picture we’d look like we were flirting or kissing.

“Beth gets jealous super easily….she can’t control it. So I know, that if you make her jealous…she’ll admit to herself that she loves you and all ends well” Zoey whispers, now I looked at her. She had really nice eyes, full of wisdom and kindness.

“You’re a genius Zoey” I whisper, smiling and Zoey grinned back, grinning like a Cheshire cat, it was infectious really.

At that second, a cough is heard and we both look up. Beth and Jack watching us from the door way. I quickly glanced back at Zoey, who smiled smugly.

She knew it all a long.

“Sorry Finn, you had something in your eye right?” Zoey says and moves away from me quickly. Jack winked at me and made a motion that was rather vulgar, when the women weren’t looking. Beth however was staring at me, intently with an emotion I now realize, a emotion that Zoey had told me about.

Jealous. Beth was actually jealous and weirdly, this gave me some sick satisfaction, that I had some sort of affect on her.

“So, who’s up for some shopping?” Zoey announces and Beth instantly looks away from me and turns her attention to Jack.

“Sounds good” Jack says and soon we all agreed to go shopping. Sometimes, you had to really love California.
---

When we got home, after spending money we didn’t really have. I had only brought a new pair of jeans a couple of shirts, the girls buying almost a whole new wardrobe between them and Jack got some new work clothes. We all shared lunch between us and around 5, we made our way home.

We didn’t expect however, to find Maggie curled up by our doorstep, sobbing with her head down. Maggie was more of my close friend that Jack or Beth and obviously not Zoey, so it was me that was worried the most. I rushed to Maggie, dropping my bags and crouched down.

“Mags?” I ask worriedly, her shiny red hair in it’s usual curls.

“Finn” she sobs out, and uncurled herself, reaching out to me and I instantly grab her, hugging her tightly. She sobs against my chest, and I squeeze tighter. I had to know what was wrong.

“Jack..” I begin, but he had already got the door open and put my things in. With some help from Jack, I lifted Maggie up and I carried her inside, she was shaking and I didn’t understand why. I carried her to the couch and sat down beside her, she instantly leant against me, for what I think is protection.

“Maggie, what’s wrong!” I ask, tilting her head upwards to see her face finally, but she didn’t need to tell me, her face said it all. A large purplish, blue bruise took up the right cheek, swelling was noticeably and I a small cut on her lip too, with dried blood around it.

“Who did this?” I ask, shocked at the damage. It must have been done barely an hour ago. Maggie sniffles, trying to get herself together. Zoey appears, with a glass of hot, sugary tea.

“For shock” she whispers, sitting across from us. Beth was sitting on the side of us and Jack was standing in front of us, waiting for the news.

“Dylan got angry” Maggie mumbles, burying her face in my sweatshirt again and I instantly tense. The others didn’t know who Dylan were, Dylan was Maggie’s latest boyfriend, the one she really liked. He harmed her, he had hit her. He was going to suffer.

“He hit you Maggie?” I ask and Maggie nods. I felt furious, just like I would if it was April, but thinking of that made me angrier. How dare someone hit Maggie.

How dare a man hit a woman….

“Get some ice someone” I say, examining Maggie’s cheek. She was still shaking, so Beth gently helped her sip some tea. Zoey went and got some blankets from my room and we wrapped Maggie up, to keep her warm. She was wearing thin clothes.

Jack came back with the ice bag and I held it against Maggie’s face, watching her wince as I applied the cold pressure.

“We had a fight, he just lashed out and I didn’t know what to do…so I ran and I ended up here” Maggie says quietly, sounding as if she could cry again at any moment.

“You did the right thing” I assure her, keeping my arm tightly around her.

“I was so scared and shocked. He’s out there now Finn and I’m scared” Maggie says faintly.
“He won’t hurt you” Jack voices and I see the anger in his eyes, we both thought that a man laying hands on a woman in such a violent way was revolting.

“You can stay here for as long as you need Maggie, you have us” I tell her, rubbing her arm softly.

“Don’t tell anyone, please don’t. If my parents find out, he’ll be in jail” Maggie begs.

“It’s where he belongs” Zoey spits, but Maggie shook her head furiously.

“He didn’t mean it….he was just angry.” Maggie tried to convince us, but we knew it was all a lie. I knew Jack found this difficult, his own father had beaten him and whenever he was beat up bad, he’d come round my house and try and convince that his Dad didn’t mean to hit him, he just pissed him off too much. We both knew he was lying, just like Maggie was now.

“We’ll talk about it later Maggie, have some more tea” I urge, more concerned that we sorted Maggie out, before I dealt with Dylan.

“It’ll be okay Maggie…” I murmur, kissing her head like I do with April. I held her for a while, the others not knowing what to do but sympathize. It wasn’t till Maggie went to sleep, I tucked her up on the couch, the swelling had gone down in her cheek, but the mark was still here and it still angered me. I went into my room, swapping my sweatshirt for a thick black hoodie.

It was 8pm now, almost three hours since Maggie got here and it was dark outside. The perfect opportunity.

As I was about to head for the door, a voice stopped me.

“Where are you going?” I spun around, Beth was leaning against the kitchen door. Jack was nowhere to be seen and Zoey was out getting groceries.

“Out” I say plainly.

“For…” Beth says, walking closer.

“Just out, tell Jack I’ll be back later” I say, I was pissed so I was being off with her.

“Finn, please don’t do something stupid…” Beth says, pleading. I glanced at her, then at Maggie, who was still snoozing away.

“I’m not, I’m simply dealing with a problem” I say quietly.

“Is that dealing with a problem going to involve you getting hurt?” Beth asks me, her hazel eyes full of worry.

“I won’t be the one getting hurt Beth, trust me” I snap, the anger boiling in my veins. I needed to do some damage. Before she could speak, I stormed out the flat, running down the steps and out of the block. Streetlights were on, so I pulled up the hood, hiding my face. I didn’t want to see someone I knew.

I knew where Dylan would be, Maggie had told me he hung around a certain club alleyway because he was easy access to the club. I knew where this club was, so I was out to find him.

I couldn’t tell you how I felt, it was something that my anger and common sense, well lack of it was controlling. The adrenaline was pumping and the feeling of fury increased. I began to run, sprinting down the street, careful not to knock someone over. I slowed down as I saw the sign of the club. The sound of heavy bass music echoed through the street, the scene of drunken girls with short skirts on laughing and falling over and the guys cheering and making out with a random girl. The alleyway was dark, with only was light on near the end. You couldn’t really tell the difference with the light on. I peered around the corner and almost grinned evilly, seeing that Dylan was alone smoking a cigarette. I pulled my hood closer down, and swaggered round the corner.

I wasn’t a bad man, or harass. I was a friend who knew that some guy needed to be taught a lesson, that guy was Dylan. I kept walking, stopping a few metres away. Dylan looked up noticing me. I hadn’t met him before, but I knew from what Maggie told me that it was him. He was a strong looking guy and if I wasn’t so angry, I would have doubted my efforts. He had short black hair, and cold grey eyes. He looked the type of guy that would be an abuser.

“You Dylan?” I ask, in a gruff voice making sure he didn’t know who I was.

“What’s it to you?” Dylan asks cockily, flicking out the cigarette and coming closer, he smelled of liquor, strongly and I almost gagged at the scent.

“Wanting to make sure I was beating the right guy” I merely say and before he could absorb my words, I took a huge swing and punched him round the face, knocking him to the ground.
Dylan grunted in pain and I’m sure I saw blood, but I didn’t care. I kicked him in the gut, winding him. I thanked Jack for teaching me to moves. I got on top of the guy, and gave another huge smack. I knew I couldn’t overdo it, no matter how much I hated him. I wasn’t going to be an almost killer. I picked him up roughly, and slammed him against the brick wall, he groaned in pain, still conscious amazingly.

“Who the fuck are you!” he spits, trying to get out of my grasp, but again thanks to Jack, he wouldn’t be able to.

“Some guy that you severely pissed off. Now you know your girl Maggie?” I say, in a deep voice. He nodded, looking confused.

“If you ever harm her again, I’ll finish the job right?” I knew my threat was hollow, but Dylan didn’t know this.

“If you don’t stay away from her, I’ll hurt you so bad. You’ll wish you never laid eyes on her. Understand asshole?” I spit, wanting to punch him again.

I tightening my grip on his neck and he almost choked. “Fine! Fine!” Dylan begs and I let go, letting him slump to the ground.

“Tell anyone of this and I’ll hunt you down till the day I die” I hiss. I spit on the floor, just in front of him.

“You disgust me, call yourself a man? You’re nothing but a pathetic loser who feels the need to hit girls. Get over yourself” I snap and before the cops were called, I ran away, the hood still covering my face. I could feel my hand swelling and thumping with pain but I didn’t care, because I felt like I had done the right thing.

That bastard thought he could mess with one of my friends? He obviously doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. I ran home, and ran up the steps and crept in. But unfortunately, everyone was gathered in the living room.

“Where the hell you been!” Jack demands.

“Taking care of something” I mutter lowly and disappearing into the bathroom, to wash off the bloody hand and calm myself. When I reappeared, Maggie was awake.

“What did you do Finn?” she asks sleepily.
“I beat up your boyfriend” I say bluntly, everyone stopped eating.

“You what!” Maggie shouts, wincing her mouth widened.

“The jerk deserved it” I insist. Maggie stared at me, and I saw her debating whether or not to be angry with me.

“C’mon Mags, I couldn’t let him get away with hurting you.” I say softly. Maggie rushes forward and hugs me tightly, uncaring that it was hurting her cheek. I hugged her back, telling her that everything would be okay. When I looked up, I saw Beth looking at me.

“I’m glad your okay” Beth says softly, I don’t think Jack or anyone else heard. Maggie had gone to go sit down and eat something, at last.

“Were you worried?” I tease but I saw something flash in her eyes, and it was looked like genuine concern.

“I always worry about you Finn” Beth mumbles, as we walked into the living room.

“Why?” I ask, confused as I sat down, sighing with comfort.

“Because I care-” she was about to finish, when Jack walked in, grinning at me proudly.

“Well done dude, you did the right thing” Jack reassures and I smile gratefully. I knew that in spirit, Jack was with me earlier. Jack then ruined my good moment of him, as he kissed Beth’s cheek.

“You okay babe?” he asks, taking a seat beside me.

“Yeah, fine” Beth says quickly and hurried into the kitchen. I turned the TV down and saw that Jack had carried in two beer bottles, he opened them both and handed one to me.

“To your badass moment” he toasts and I grin, chinking my bottle with his.

“Cheers” I mumble, chugging a generous sip. We made an appreciative “Ah” sound and glanced at each other before chuckling.

“So, I wanted to tell you something before I told anyone else…” Jack says and I looked at him, seeing that he was being serious. A rare moment for Jack.

“Which is?” I prompt.

“I realized something today, especially after the whole Maggie drama…and I realized how I would have felt if something like that had happened to Beth you know?” Jack says and I feel my stomach churning, I felt sick at the very thought of someone harming Beth. I would definitely kill that person, without a second thought.

“What did you realize?” I ask quietly, filling with dread at what he would tell me.

“Finn, I’m in love with her” Jack whispers to me and I feel myself tense at his words, feeling sudden anger and jealousy and everything else in between.

“Love?” I choked, in disbelief. How dare he love her…. I loved her first.

“Yeah I know, it’s only been a few months and at first I never thought it would go anywhere but I realized…that I’m actually in love with her. Can you believe it?” Jack asks, laughing slightly. He sounded so happy, I wanted to vomit.

I wanted to cry actually, and I haven’t cried since my Dad died. Not even at soppy films or anything. I wanted to scream out in anger and burst into tears, pleading Jack not to love her because Beth was my love, she was mine.

“No, I can’t believe it” “I state, hoping he didn’t notice my cold abrupt tone, Jack being Jack, didn’t notice.

“It’s amazing, the feelings you get with it.” Jack murmurs, we both instantly chugged out bears together, mine in depression, his in celebration.

“I bet” I say, hardening the sounds of the words. Jack then glanced at me, giving me a pitiful smile.

“Don’t worry man, your time will come. One day, you’ll be in love too. Then we can double date and everything” Jack says cheerfully, and I could have choked him then.

But I didn’t, I kept my murder-filled fantasies in my head as I thought bitterly, sipping my beer again, wondering why it wasn’t taking it’s usual numbing affect.

I am in love.
You bastard.
I’m in love with your fucking girlfriend.

I never thought the day would come, where I might just reach the point of so much hatred for my best friend, and I would want to do anything to destory his happy relationship.

That day came.

From now on, I was going to do anything I could, to make Elizabeth Carlton mine.