It Wasn't Meant to Be Like This

I had to tell Jack, obviously I wasn’t going to hide this with him. He was supportive but I could tell he was still hurting, so I left little details as possible. I did feel kind of bad, but not bad enough to retract my proposal. I was so happy, I had told my Mom, sister and anyone I really knew, and they were all ecstatic.

Months past, Christmas went by and the planning of a huge extravagant wedding begun. Beth wanted a summer wedding, so the date was set for 21st August. It was now currently May and Beth was in frantic mode, of getting everything sorted.

I was going to go get a tux soon, I tried to contact Jack and come and visit, but he’s been distant lately. I understood though, I would be the same.

We had given the invitations out in advance, and I asked Jack if I could he be my best man, and oddly, a couple weeks later. I got a email back from him.

Finn,

First off, Congratulations again.

Look man, I’m glad we sorted things out again and we’re in contact but like I said, things won’t be the same again. I loved Lizzie, you knew that. I don’t know if I can watch her walk down the aisle and not be at the end of it you know?

I’m sorry if you take offence, and I mean it in the highest respect, but I think for my own dignity and for yours, I’ll stay away from the wedding. I don’t want things to be awkward, I haven’t seen Lizzie in a long time, it would be best for all of us if I don’t come to the wedding. I’m touched to be offered as your best man, and I’m sorry I couldn’t come through for you but you understand right? You understand how I feel about this?

I’ll come see you, soon…just not then, not now. I need space again. If you wanted to know, I’m out on the market again. I’ve accepted Lizzie and you being together, I’ve been seeing Maggie actually. She’s a funny, witty girl and I’ll be honest, she makes me smile again which is what I really need. I need fun right now.

You knew from the start, when we were becoming friends again that it wouldn’t be the same, that it would be difficult for the both of us. I’m sorry man, please don’t take this the wrong way.

I wish you all the luck, all the best wishes and I hope to god you share a good life together, because you are a good guy overall and you do deserve it.

So take this as me respectfully declining your invitation, and wishing you my congratulations.

Jack, x

I wish I could say I was surprised, but I can’t. He was right, I knew it would be different again, I can’t help but be disappointed that my best friend wasn’t coming to my own wedding, but I give him his respect, and I’ll leave him be.

As much as I selfishly wanted him there.

---

“I can’t help falling in love with you…” Andrea Bocelli played from the stereo of the room, a different version of this song, as Beth and I were taking our dance class, trust me I had been bribed here.

Our wedding was now only a couple of weeks away and apparently, I needed dancing lessons. We were doing a slow Viennese waltz thing, with a dip now and again. I don’t know the professionally terms.

We were having professional training, Theo my second choice of best man and Zoey were dancing together, Zoey was the maid of honour if you hadn’t guessed.

“One, two, three….one, two, three….spin, left foot down! ZOEY!” the dance instructor, Cecil, a 4ft man, completely and utterly gay and hated any imperfections, he almost passed out when he saw me ‘shimmy’ as a warm up.

Beth and I were actually having a blast doing this. I smiled at my soon-to-be wife, and spun her around.

“I’m so excited!” Beth whispers, as we watched Cecil verbally abuse Zoey for the fiftieth time for not using her left foot.

“And me, I can’t wait for you to my wife.” I say, loving how it rolled off my tongue.

“I can’t wait for you to be my husband…Mr and Mrs. Donnell…it has a ring to it.” Beth says, happily. I smile softly and I kissed her quickly before Cecil saw.

“You ready for the big finish?” I tease and Beth rolled her eyes, but I spun her around three times, and pulled her in an dipped her to the right.

Zoey and Theo, clapped sarcastically and I scoffed.

“At least I know my left from my right!” I tease, and Zoey blushes and tells Theo to start dancing again.

--

“NO, NO, NO. AUDREY! I DIDN’T ORDER WHITE LILLIES, WITH PINK ROSES, I ORDERED PINK AND WHITE ORCHIDS, WITH CREAM LILLIES!” Beth screamed into her cell phone.

I almost sunk into my seat. It was three days now until the wedding and everything possible has apparently gone wrong. There is an over flow of guests, the church that we booked is apparently double booked and the hotel reception that we arranged is apparently too small for the amount of guests which we now have.

Oh and now the flowers are wrong.

“You know what Audrey, you’re fired!” Beth snaps, hanging up on the poor woman.

“FINN!” Beth screams, and I bolt up running into our bedroom, which where Beth was.

“Beth, relax…we’ll sort it.” I try and soothe. Completely wrong thing to say.

“YOU DON’T KNOW THAT. EVERYTHING’S WRONG!” Beth cried, and I realized, she was crying.

“Beth…” I coo, and walked over to her, wrapping into a huge hug, she clings to me tightly.

“I wanted a perfect wedding…it’s all gone wrong.” Beth murmurs sadly. I sigh softly, kissing her head.

“Beth, as long as we get married…then I don’t care if it’s in a barn, with farm animals as witnesses okay? You’re going to look beautiful…and everything will be sorted.” I assure her softly.

“How do you know?” Beth asks quietly. I pull away, taking her phone away and wedding planner.

“Because, honey…you’re going to go take a bath and leave all this wedding nonsense to me” I say softly, taking her into the bathroom.

Beth attempted to protest.

“Finn! The wedding is in three days, I haven’t got time to-” Beth begins. I silence her with a kiss.

I turned on the bathtub, and poured in her favourite bubble bath, and let the tub fill up. Beth grumbled, as I tried to take off her shirt.

“Alright, alright…” she says, taking it off herself.

“I love you, stop worrying.” I say softly, kissing her gently. Beth sighs and nods, and I leave her to relax. I go into the kitchen, taking a seat at the table and I opened the book, reading the florists number, I called Audrey back.

“Hello?” a voice, a woman answered sniffling. It was Audrey.

“Hello Audrey, this is Finn Donnell…about 30 seconds ago you spoke to my fiancée Beth.” I say softly, remaining calm.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I don’t know how it got mixed up, please don’t sue!” Audrey cries. Poor girl.

“”It’s fine, and I’m not suing. Look, is there anyway you can backtrack the order, and get the flowers delivered on time?” I ask, calmly.

Audrey sniffs. “Yeah, but the manager-” Audrey says.

“Hand the phone to them.” I order firmly. I hear Audrey sigh and a little squeaky “Okay” gets out. Shuffling is heard, then a male voice comes on the phone.

“Hello, this is Ben Stevens, the manager…is there a problem?” a deep voice says.

“Hello Mr. Stevens, I’m Finn Donnell and it seems there is a problem, as the flowers for my wedding is incorrect. I’d like you to fix it please.” I state simply, but I knew it wouldn’t be easy.

“I’m afraid it can’t be done…the company-” Mr. Stevens begins.

My patience was reached. “Look Ben. I’m getting married in three days, my fiancée is losing her mind and I want her to have the perfect wedding, so you’re going to do the flowers on time, and you’re not going to charge me extra, now do your job properly and sort it out or you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.” I state coldly.

I didn’t have a lawyer.
He doesn’t know that.

Ha. I hung up on the phone, relishing in my glory and I picked up the phone and dialled the church…

“Good evening Minister Davis, I’m very well…yourself…good. I was just wondering if we could solve this situation out about the double booking? Yes, certainly..-”

For the rest of the night, I sorted out the problems while Beth soaked in the tub, occasionally asking me if everything was okay. By midnight, the flowers, the church, the overflow of guests was sorted and I had managed to only consume two bottles of wine.

When I found Beth, she was lying on the bed with her eyes closed, but I could tell she wasn’t sleeping. The lamp was on, so I flicked off the main light, tugging my t-shirt off, and unbuckling my belt on my jeans, ready for sleep.

“Are we still getting married on the 21st?” Beth teases, I smile even though her eyes weren’t open.

“Yes we’re still getting married on the 21st, in the church with Minister Davies, with white and pink orchids down the aisles and your cream Lillie centrepieces…” I say and I see Beth grin widely, sighing with relief.

I laid on the soft bed, draping my arm over Beth’s stomach, closing my eyes. I feel Beth’s hand rake through my hair, which really needed cutting in my opinion but Beth said to keep it like it was.

“Thank you Finn…” Beth says softly, I feel her move closer to me. I smile sleepily, repositioning my head, and lying it on her stomach, slowly drifting off as she continued to stroke my head.

“Your welcome.” I yawn, I was so close to falling asleep now.

“Night Finn.” Beth whispers. I sigh softly, “Night Beth.” I yawn, and then I let the sleep and alcohol take me into unconsciousness.

---

“You’re getting married! You’re getting married! You’re getting married TODAY!” I knew that voice far too well..

“April!” I groan sleepily, today was the 21st August, and I was getting married today, to Elizabeth. I was actually getting married, 24 years old to the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.

“YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!” April shrieks, jumping on my bed. I regret giving her keys to the our apartment again, I should have learnt from the last time. Beth was sleeping at Zoey’s, she was having superstitions that it’s bad luck to see the bride on the day of wedding, before you’re married.

I scoffed, but allowed Beth to leave me for the night. It was pretty boring to be honest. My stag do was the night before, I would tell you about if I could remember, but I was that smashed that we ended up in the ER, Aaron has broken his finger apparently…I don’t even remember how. Jack couldn’t come to my stag do, I was pretty gutted but like I said, he needed his space and I’ll allow him that.

“April…”I grumble.

“My brother’s getting married today!” April says excitedly.

“What time is it?” I ask, waking up, rubbing my eyes.

“It’s almost 12...” April says. I sighed, the wedding as at 2...

I turned over and I saw April had moved to the end of the bed, staring at me. I stretched slightly, and yawned again.

“What?” I ask confused. April smiles softly.

“You’re getting married today, Loser…married…a life long commitment…” April says softly.

I smile, feeling excitement and nerves build in me. “I am freak, that I am.” I sigh contently. April grins widely.

“C’mon, you only have two hours…the guys are in the kitchen, Mom is too and…I’m going over to Zoey’s now. I’m a bridesmaid after all.” April boasts, I smile softly, still half asleep.

“You’ll look lovely” I say and April smiles.

“Damn straight, now get up…” April warns and swiftly leaves. I decide she was right, I needed to start getting ready.

I got out bed, stretching, my bones cracking quietly. I shuffle into the kitchen, to see it absolutely jammed packed.

“THERE HE IS. FINNY’S GETTING MARRIED!” Greg shouted and all the guys cheered. Mom was in the middle, painting her nails.

Altogether there was Greg, Aaron, Jimmy, Harry, Theo, Ryan and Mom…which was a lot as our kitchen wasn’t exactly huge.

“C’mon Finn, we haven’t got all day…go shower!” Theo orders, and I roll my eyes smiling.

“Sure, sure…” I say, and I go into the bathroom and take a long, relaxing shower, trying to calm my nerves.

I soon heard loud music being put on, I felt sorry for my poor mother. After having a long shower, I started put on some clean boxers. I put on an old t-shirt and some shorts, while I go into the kitchen and Mom had made me breakfast, some of the guys were missing.

“Hey Mom..” I say, sipping the orange juice set out for me. I could get use to this…

“Hey baby” Mom murmur as she busied herself.

I ate in silence, until Mom finally spoke up. “Finn…” she begins, I look up seeing her look worried.

“Yeah?” I question.

“Your Dad would have been so proud of you…” Mom finally managed to get out, tears brimming in her eyes.

“Aw, Mom…” I say, getting up and going over to hug her. Everyone was going to be emotional now.

“He would have loved to be here, to see you get married.” Mom says gently. I felt a lump in my throat, it was that lump that you didn’t want, because it made you cry. I still missed my Dad, I can’t stop missing him, or loving him…

“I know Mom” I manage to croak out, as I hug her tightly.

“Make every moment count okay?” Mom says firmly, she kisses my cheek and releases me before I could say anything, I suddenly lost my appetite.

Theo suddenly came into the kitchen. “There you are, Finn…come get dressed…it’s almost one!” Theo orders. I nod and follow Theo, looking back at my Mum, who looked rather sad.

I was shoved in the bedroom and ordered to dress, I needed help with my bow tie, The nerves were kicking in now, Theo was doing my hair, well combing it. In the end, I got pissed off and swatted his hands away and just brushed it neatly. I put some cologne on, brushing my teeth twice and put my socks and shoes on…

I go into the kitchen, Mom hands me the pocket flower, it was pink and white. Just what Beth wanted.

“How do I look?” I ask everyone, and they all smirk back at me.

“Na, could be better.” Aaron teases, who’s married by the way…in case I forgot the mention. I roll my eyes and reach and hug my Mom.

“I love you Ma, thanks for everything.” I whisper in her ear.

“I love you too, son.” Mom whispers and we let go…after, everyone gives me good luck hugs and pats and by quarter to two it was time to drive to the church, in the limo…I know it was only down the block, but still. I wanted to go in style.

“Let’s go, we’re having pictures at the church.” Greg announces. I nod, and I notice Aaron carrying my suitcases. I tried to take one, but he wouldn’t let me.

“I guess, I should go get married then.” I say, clapping my hands together once as all exited my apartment, locking up and all going downstairs, seeing the limo ready outside, and people staring at it. When they saw us all dressed up, knowing it was a wedding.

Some random people cheered and wished me luck. As much as I was excited, nervous and all round happy and having a good time as we drove to the church, I couldn’t help but keep checking my phone, for any messages or calls from Jack.

It didn’t feel right, it wasn’t right without him here…