It Wasn't Meant to Be Like This

The noise of the hustle was getting too much, the wedding was going to start soon. I was so nervous, my stomach was fluttering and I felt sick. The church looked beautiful, soft piano music was playing and everyone was coming up to me, congratulating me. I couldn’t tell you the amount of people that were here, I lost count of who was my family, and who were just friends, I lost count of how many Aunts and Uncles from Beth’s side have called me Jack.

Yeah, I know.

My head is spinning, and I don’t know if I can do this. Is it meant to be feel like this. Am I meant to feel this nervous? What if I screwed it up? What if I ruin it? Oh shit, what if we get divorced? This is a waste of time then isn’t it?

Oh my fucking god. I’m getting married. It had hit me, fucking punched me in the face now, the realization that I was getting married, to Beth.

Oh. My. God.

“You okay man?” Theo asks me, as he sees me tense.

“Mm, hmm.” I say, keeping my mouth shut in case a series of rude words came out in the house of god…

“Finn, you ready?” Aaron asks me, I nod quickly. Everyone got into positions, everyone settling down and silencing. My Mom smiling at me from the front.

Beth was here…

Cue the music… I say in my head and like that, the music begins. The bridesmaids were coming first, there was April first, with Ryan on her arm. She looked beautiful and so grown up. I smiled as she near me, giving me a quick smile.

Next was Emma, with Aaron, then Beth’s old room mate who no one really knows the name of, well I don’t.

After that, there was my Zoey, the maid of honour with her new boyfriend, the dance instructor. Then, the bridal march came on…and Beth appeared at the end of the aisle, with her father giving her away. Her mother smiled, teary eyes at the front sitting near my own mother, who was dabbing her eyes.

Beth looked beautiful, breathing taking, stunning any compliment under the sun. She was perfection. A white, puffy, floor length strapless dress , with sequins and I don’t know what else, but she looked beautiful. Her hair was half up in spirals and curls caressing down, with pearls in her hair, and the veil covering her face.

They walked at a steady place, and soon, my wedding began as Beth kissed her father’s cheek after he lifted the veil, her makeup was perfectly done. The hired photographers, and Theo snapped away, I had hired them to my standards obviously…

The minister began, but I almost spaced out as I hazed at Beth, who grinned back at me.

“You look beautiful.” I mouth quickly. Beth smiles softly. “Thank you.” she mouths back.

“Dearly beloved…” he begins, and I can’t help but feel suddenly calm, and I didn’t know why. The nerves were settling. The ceremony continued, women crying and men trying not to…and myself grinning like a maniac.

I had to be the luckiest person alive.

It got even better though, when I saw Jack Adams, my best friend leaning at the back of the church, his tie loosened, his hair scruffy but he was still here.

I looked back at Beth, who looked where I had just and she smiled softly at him. He smiled back.

He nodded. It was a nod of so many things, a nod of hello, a nod of congratulations, a nod of a blessing and a nod of approval. It was a nod of forgiveness, fully forgiven.

Jack smiled at me, and before I knew it the words “I do.” were coming out of my mouth.

“And do you Elizabeth Marie Carlton take thee as your lawfully wedded husband?” the minister asks, and I had sudden relapse that she might have seen Jack and wondered what the fuck she was doing with me, and say no.

“I do.” Beth says lovingly… oh never mind then.

“You may now kiss the bride.” he announces and we both reach in and kiss, a perfect kiss might I add. The cameras flashed, the people clapped and I realized that I was officially married…for good.

When we parted, I saw Jack move near to the exit, and I hoped to God he wouldn’t leave. Beth and I linked arms as we made our way down the aisle, being congratulated and kissed and hugged. When we got the exit, the limo was waiting for us, to drive Beth and I to the church.

Jack was no where to be seen, and I felt saddened but somewhat pleased that he at least saw me get married.

We waved goodbye to everyone who gathered outside, despite that we were going to see them soon.

I shut the door and I turned to Beth, who had tears in her eyes. “Finn, we’re married!” she shrieks and I kiss her passionately.

“I have the most beautiful wife!” I tell her, kissing her lovingly.

“I have the most amazing husband.” Beth whispers, kissing me back. The drive was short, during that time, we took Beth’s veil off and kissed continuously. I would have felt sorry for the driver, but to be honest…I was too happy to care. We got to the hotel, and when we got inside, we were whisked away for pictures.

It took about an hour over all, and when the rest of the wedding party arrived, we had more pictures, by five o clock…we finally could go party and celebrate.

Beth and I had our first dance and I can proudly say I didn’t mess it up. We danced to I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You, it was nice and pictures and videos were taken. After our first dance, drinks were poured.

So many toasts were given, my best man, Theo did and Zoey did a rather hilarious one. It was brilliant and everything I hoped for and it got better, when the music suddenly stopped and Jack stepped out on stage.

People clapped politely, Beth and I watched from our long table, as Jack tapped the glass gently with a knife, making a chiming noise.

“I can have everyone’s attention please.” Jack calls out and everyone quiets, I couldn’t help be slightly nervous as I watched him.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Jack Adams. Finn Donnell is my best friend and he offered me the position of best man which I regretfully declines. Now I know we already had the best man speech but I would just like to make a few, rather important words.” Jack says clearly, smiling in our direction.

“I’ve known Finn since high school and from the very beginning, I hated him. We use to fight, and call each other names didn’t we Finn?” Jack says and I can’t help but grin widely, and nod.

“Yeah, we did!” I call and everyone titters in laughter. Beth held my hand tightly.

“But eventually we became friends, then best friends and then finally brothers from other mothers…” Jack teases and everyone chuckles.

“None of us are perfect, Finn knows we’ve done enough mistakes. You see originally, I liked Beth. But it came to the end, where Beth and Finn realized how perfect they were for each other and I have to strongly agree…I wish them both a wonderful life together and all the happiness in the world. Beth, you look beautiful and Finn, what can I say? I love you man!” Jack cheers, holding up his glass.

Everyone cheered and clapped, chorusing “To Beth and Finn” before all sipping their champagne. I got up slowly, and Beth squeezed my hand for luck, as I went over to Jack as he got off to stage.

The music returned on and I smiled as I walked up to Jack. “You made it.” I say happily, holding out my arms, and we greet in a manly hug, slapping backs.

“I couldn’t miss this…I just couldn’t.” Jack admits, and I smile happily.

“I’m so glad you’re here…you have no idea how much it means to me.” I say honestly. Jack smirks, sipping his champagne.

“What can I say? You’re my best friend Finn, no matter what.” Jack says and I felt a surge of brotherly love for him.

“Thank for the speech too, I was touched.” I say seriously. Jack smiles.
“You’re welcome, I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner…I should have been-”

“Jack, it’s fine. You’re here now, that’s all that matters.” I say sincerely. Jack grins.
“You going to stick around?” I ask hopefully. Jack gives me a mischievous look.

“Finn, free food and open bar? Of course I’m going to stick around you prick.” Jack says jokingly, and that’s when I knew things were safely back to normal.

I chuckled as I watched Jack swig back his champagne. “How’s things been going with you?” I ask, sighing contently.

“Good, I finished with Maggie though.” Jack admits, helping himself to the glasses of champagne that were going by.

“How come?” I ask, as he offers me one and I take it. It was just fun Finn, nothing serious. We both knew that, it was kind of just for the sex.” Jack says and I roll my eyes, it was typical Jack.

“She wasn’t upset or anything?” I ask cautiously, as I eyed Maggie across the room, flirting with some waiter.

“Nah, in fact…she said she was happy to have had the experience, but it was time to move on.” Jack says, following my gaze.

“Well, as long as your happy…” I say, glancing over at Beth, who was greeting people and laughing at something Grandpa had told her, most likely about the war.

“I am, at last. What about you Finn, you happy?” Jack asks me quietly.

“I’m over the fucking moon.” I say and Jack laughs. I smirk.

“Thank you, for everything Jack. For being there and for…I don’t know…forgiving me.”

Jack smiles at me, a smile which told me that I was welcome, and no words were needed. He leaned back against the pillar, and sighed.

“So what now? You staying in New York for a while or you going home…what?” I ask curiously.

“I’m going to travel.” Jack suddenly says. I almost choked on the champagne that I just sipped.

“Travel?” I gasp out.

“Yep, going to go travelling…I’m thinking Europe…” Jack says seriously, and I knew that he was determined to do it.

“Wha-How?” I ask confused.

“Sold the apartment, got my savings and I’m gonna pack some shit and get on a plane and fly to the other side of the world tomorrow.” Jack tells me, finishing his glass too quickly.

“But, you can’t just leave.” I say, trying to laugh it off.

“Why not? I need to live for a while, need to find myself. I’m going all voodoo on your ass now Finny boy.” Jack teases. I roll my eyes, I’ll never live that name down.

“You going to stay in touch?” I ask hopefully, knowing I just got him back and now he was leaving so soon.

Jack smirks at me. “I might do Finn, but then I’d have to pay for post cards and phone calls-” Jack jokes and I can’t help but burst into laughter. I swing my arm around his neck.

“You’ll never change Jack..” I sigh, as we staggered over to my beautiful wife.

“Don’t expect me too Finn!” cheers Jack, taking a free drink from the waiter…again.

“Finn, Jack…” Beth says softly, hugging Jack quickly and kissing my cheek.

“The duo back together?” she whispers to me. I look at Jack, who was finding his dinner place, which I had reserved for him, in some hope he would come.

“Yeah, we’re good.” I whisper back, kissing her softly.

“Ew!” I hear my cousin George say suddenly, causing laughter from my family. I look at Beth and peck her lips again.

“I love you Mrs. Donnell.” I say tenderly.

Beth gives me that smile, that smile that caught my heart many times over.

“I love you Mr. Donnell.” she replies, wrapping her arms around me.

I can’t explain how I feel, as you probably won’t understand, so I’ll just say this.

I’m happy okay?

I’m perfectly happy.

“Hey Finn?” Beth whispers in my ear. I glance at her, interlocking our fingers.

“Yes?” I whisper back.

“Let’s dance.” Beth says pulling me away, into the dance floor where I knew this was only the beginning of marriage, I never intend to end.