You're More Than My Hero

Damn, damn, damn. Fuck, fuck, fuck. There are... There are tons of those Vampire Fuckers guarding the fucking Cloning Facility! What's worse, I'm still hanging out with these mysterious dudes called the Killjoys! Now that I think about, why are they called the Killjoys again? Wait. I've already thought of that before. Hmph. Seems like that if you don't have anybody to talk to, you'll end up talking to yourself and even repeating some topics. Goddamn it! Maybe I should be one of those Vampire Fuckers, at least I won't end up being alone and out of place, though I have a ninety-nine point ninety-nine chance of getting killed by these guys. Why ninety-nine point ninety-nine chance? I can hide or escape from them, y'know. Nothing's impossible. I sat back and waited again for one them to speak out. Maybe tell the plan and not just sit around here and GET SHOT BY THOSE FUCKING VAMPIRE FUCKERS!

And all of a sudden, Party Poison gave a nod to everybody, yes, including me. But I didn't know what it meant. Could somebody tell me? Please? Holy shit! Did they just got out of the car? Of course they did! Why did I even ask! Fucking shit! I'm left alone in the car. Who do they think I am? I thought I was accepted in their shitty group. I even got to feel how action-packed their lives are. I'm not totally inexperienced! I get to shoot down tons of Vampire Fuckers! Well, that was only one time but still--

"Hey, whatcha doing still hanging around in the car?" A voice told me. And whose voice was that? Of course, it had to be the mysterious dude who saved my life lamely codenamed Party Fucking Poison. And what did he mean by that? Could it be that I should be joining them in the shootout? I raised an eyebrow and asked the fucking mysterious dude,

"So you're saying I'm gonna join you guys there?"

Oh God. God no. Stop. Please stop. Stop him from doing... that... That fucking smirk! I want to either close my eyes and yell at him to stop that or get my gun and kill him but then, he saved me and yatta, yatta, yatta. You get my drift.

"Just don't let them kill you," he told me as he started walking away. Hm, not let them kill me, huh? Yeah, cool. What the fuck?! I take everything I said about being experienced back! I don't wanna join them! I don't wanna get killed! Again! And I don't wanna get my ass saved again by that motherfucker. Goddamn it. But if I stay here in the car too long, the Vampire Fuckers might surround the car, which means surrounding me and boom! I'm dead meat as you know it! And with that oh so helpful thought, I walked out of the car, gripping tightly on the gun Party Poison gave me a while back.

I just wish I was those action stars in movies. Yeah, they get shot and had near-death experiences but in the end, they live and all. My point is I hope I get to live until the end. I wanna die an old man with a loving wife with kids and grandkids. Yeah, call that a simple yet perfect life. Can't I dream small things? Holy motherfucking shit! I just heard something from a distance and it ain't good. Ever since I've been hanging out with these Killjoys, nothing has ever been good. Damn it. Damn it all. And if you guys are curious on what I just heard, I heard bullets being shot from a gun. A laser gun to be exact. The story of my life.

As I started walking, I always looked left and right. Okay. I admit it. I'm scared. Who would not get scared on their first shootout alone? Maybe those fucking Killjoys experienced the same thing on their first shootout too back then. And if they did, I would be relieved. But no, they wouldn't tell me, they wouldn't fucking tell me. Fuck them. Fuck all this shit. I just wanna go home and sleep on bed or party with Dr. D. I regret this. I totally regret everything! And if only you guys could see it.

"Frank!" Party Poison yelled. What the fuck did you-- Oh my God! A Vampire Fucker! Just before it could shoot me, I get to shoot it first. I sighed in relief and almost knelt down in nervousness. I never felt something like that before. I know I shouldn't say this, but I have that fucking mysterious dude to thank for. If he hadn't yelled at me, like I said, I might have been dead meat. Damn it! He saved my life again!

I ruffled my hair and walked towards Party Poison. I didn't want to do this, but I need it. I need company or my ass'll get kicked or pwned by those Vampire Fuckers. I looked around and didn't see the others around.

"Where are the others?" I asked, already beside him.

"Eliminating the Draculoid guards," he replied. Hm, I never knew there were those kinds of guards. Why are they even called guards if they don't protect beings like us and instead protect their own lame and fucking kind! They should make their own language and have another word for guards. God, every single thing is irritating and annoying me right now! And yes, I've just realized that thank you so fucking much.

Then, Kobra Kid showed himself to us from out of nowhere. Maybe that guy's a ninja. Just sayin'. He then nodded at Party Poison as the red-headed dude did the same thing. Hm? What did that mean?

"Showtime," Party Poison muttered as he ran towards the Cloning Facility. I followed him coz I don't wanna die just yet obviously. I looked around and saw those Vampire Fuckers lying on the ground. Jet Star and Kobra Kid must have wiped them out. Now that's cool. If only I was used to these stuff, I would be the one who have killed them. Time will come, Frank. Time will come.

"Frank," a voice called. My eyes widened in shock. No, it wasn't Party Poison's. It wasn't Kobra Kid and Jet Star's either. I turned around to see... my mom. Standing there. I stopped on my tracks and raised an eyebrow.

"Mom? What the hell are you doing here?"

She was about to open her mouth when something happened. It was unforgivable. Fucking unforgivable. Party Poison had just fired his bullet at my own mother.