You're More Than My Hero

Present situation: Not so good. I'm being carried like a bride (once again, yuck) by a mysterious man who introduced himself as "Party Poison" and in front of us right now is goddamn Vampire-fucker. Why couldn't these things (yes, I call these things for your information) stop hunting and shooting down innocent human beings like us (though I find Party Poison not so innocent)? This sucks. This totally and absolutely sucks. There's no way Party Poison could put me down and shoot the Vampire-fucker, but if he's stupid enough, he could.

"What the?!" I exclaimed, with him letting go of my legs (not my arms) and when my legs and feet hit the ground, I felt so and too much pain. Goddamn you, Party Poison! Because he has just let go of my legs, I had no choice but to hug him tight, like my life depended on it. And it did. He then pulled out his ray gun and shoot the Vampire-fucker straight to its head. Boom, head shot! After that, the Vampire-fucker was of course killed (I obviously wouldn't say was reborn), he (that goddamn Party Poison) immediately pulls my legs upward to be carried again and still, I hugged him tight. To tell the truth, I kinda feel secured and protected by hugging him right. No other feelings there. I'm not like a girl who would blush, because her "prince charming" is carrying her. I remember my gender... I'm a fucking dude.

"Sorry for doing that," Party Poison suddenly said from out of nowhere. Yeah, an apology, just what I needed after letting go of my legs where one of my legs has been shot by a Vampire-fucker. Great, just great. I would have said, "You suck" or worse than that, but I managed to think before saying something out, which is,

"Whatever."

He knew that I was pretty mad, with that face I'm wearing: pain and anger (duh!). He kinda took glances to me from time to time. Maybe because of pleasure (a sadist?) or... Wait... Pity?! Now he feels guilty?! Why didn't he feel guilty for me for him almost leaving me alone on the sandy and rocky grounds?! Fuck you, Party Poison! Fuck you!

Ehem... If I think too much of these, maybe it'll make me snap, which will eventually make me snap, which will eventually make Party Poison pissed off and well... Leave me again, for real this time. Patience Frank, patience is all you need. There are lotsa questions running through my mind right now and it's all about Party Poison. Don't take it to the next level, they're just questions like, "What is his damned real name?" or "Why did he just wear a cute-failed mask?" or "Is his hair color natural?" and never I will, as in never, ask myself stupid and fucked-up questions like, "What is he feeling or thinking right now?" or "What was his life like?" Fuck it. Ugh, just thinking stuff like that makes me wanna puke straight to his face. If had one chance to do that (the puke thing), I'd do anything not to miss that golden opportunity, 'cause... I'm the one who's pretty pissed right now (at Party Poison). Good thing I can keep these all thoughts of mine only to my mind, in other words... I'm a mastermind. Wait, is that the right word? Well, whatever. I'm just totally mindfucked right now. And why mindfucked? 'Cause of the fucking questions that I just said that are running in my head!

I just noticed that we're just walking (I mean he, Party Poison, while carrying me) in one direction... To the North, I guess. Does he know where were going? (Oh no, the mindfucking questions again) Does he have a house or better yet... Headquarters here? It would be so awesome! I've always wanted to be a guy who shoots guns at well... Anything, really. To be honest, I'd shoot Party Poison if my leg wasn't hurt. I kinda take back on what I just said (the "we're gonna get along" thing). I think we're never gonna get along... Not in a million fucking years! Sigh... I just want my leg healed and get this over with or be saved by some other person, not some who-thinks-he's-an-all-knowing jerk who keeps things to himself (my assumptions) and has almost no pity for injured people like me (once again, another assumption and he kinda still has some pity left for others like me) and... Drum rolls... Mysterious! Well, 'cause he's fucking mysterious! He doesn't share anything about himself! Not even his real name! If this world hadn't been taken over by those Vampire-fuckers, he and I would be the best of friends but no, it's the complete opposite. Fuck those Vampire-fuckers.

Hm... Now that I think about it, I wonder why Party Poison shoots Vampire-fuckers... Wait, I think he's one of the good guys (slow thinker, I know.)! Well, I hope he is. That's another thought that will run in mind... Okay, stop thinking and start saying something! You know you don't want an awkward situation, especially when the one you're with is the one who has just saved you from near death.

I then looked at him, which made him look at me. And now is the right time to ask him,

"Where are we going?"

He didn't speak for a moment. You see?! Mysterious! He then smirked at me again... That fucking smirk again! It makes my eyes burn (wow, exaggeration)!

"You'll find out soon enough," he said, while wearing that fucking smirk of his. Damn it, why is he making me play his fucking mind games, even though I totally suck balls at these! Damn you, Party Poison! You... Uh... Party Pooper! Ugh, I just said the wrong words... too wrong for me. I just wanna facepalm myself for this fail...

"You'll find out soon enough", eh? It makes me think... Gasp! Maybe he's a Vampire-fucker in disguise that will take me to its' headquarters and will kill me there!

Huh? Why is Party Poison raising his eyebrows at me?

"Why are your eyes looking so big? Are you shocked at something? If you think I'm one of those Draculoids, well I'm not. I'm fucking not," he bluntly stated. Wait, why did he just say that my eyes are big? Oh, must have been my eyes recently widening because of the thought I just thought (that he's a Vampire-fucker as well)... And... What are Draculoids? What the heck are Draculoids? Is he giving me another mindfuck?

"Uh no, I'm not shocked at something," I said to him, giving him a tone of "Duh, isn't it obvious?". Hm... About the Draculoid thing... Is it... Wait! It's on the tip of my tongue!... Ah! I know!

"By the way, what are Draculoids? Are they those Vampire-fuckers?" I added. Then, I heard a snicker... from him. Why the heck is he snickering? I'm serious here!

"Wow, that could be a better name for them," Party Poison said, instead of answering my question with a simple yes or no. But when he said it that way, it means "yes" so... Should I call them Draculoids now? Ugh, they're name is as lame as Party Poison's name, which is, Party Poison. "Vampire-fucker" sounds cooler than "Draculoids" if you ask me. "Draculoid" is like a name that comes from a comic, which sucks (no offense, Party Poison).

I just ignored Party Poison at the moment and looked at the surroundings... It was better with green trees and grasses, and don't forget the flowers, the blue sky with chirping and flying birds in it, the people walking and children walking around. I miss those times... I fucking miss it! All my life I did nothing special or memorable for myself or someone else. You'll all be shocked on a big revelation I'm going to reveal to you guys, which is... I haven't fallen in love with someone... Ever. I guess I didn't have time for those things. Now that all the ladies (theoretically) gone... I think I wasted my life. Maybe... It's better to die. Wait! What the fuck am I thinking?! I just shouted at this guy carrying me that I have a reason to live! One is by repaying him for the heroic deed he has done! Ugh, this is what you get for being alive just before dying!

I just want this day to end... Speaking of day, the sun is setting, which reminds me of a saying, "When there's a sunset, there's a sunrise". I hope tomorrow will be a better day than today, 'cause all in all, this day is the worst. I closed my eyes, hoping he would carry me to safety.

And right now, at this very moment, I think we're not so safe right now. I opened my eyes to see him with a shocked face.

"Shit," he mumbled. I raised my eyebrow and looked in front of us, which is... no... are... fucking Draculoids and a bald-headed man! I thought two Draculoids are enough for a day! Present situation: Worse than before. Well, so much for saving me... I don't know it would end up this way, being killed by more than one Draculoid. Poor Party Poison's efforts, it has just ended up in the garbage.

What the...?! He turned around and started to run... as fast as he can, just so we can be saved. When I looked behind, I saw the Draculoids chasing after us, and the bald-headed man who's kinda their leader said something, maybe it was,

"Keep running."

Shit.

"Where are they when I need them?" Party Poison mumbled to himself. They? And what does he mean by that? Goddamn it! Stop keeping these things to yourself! In other words, stop being so mysterious! And run faster! Or we're gonna end up dead meat!