You're More Than My Hero

What's my weight? Why am I even asking myself this? The point is that Party Poison is running really fast, though he's carrying me. Am I that light? I don't know if I should be happy or not about this... As I looked behind us through peeping at Party Poison's right shoulder, the Vampire-fuckers (Draculoids are way too lame for me, so I just decided to call them Vampire-fuckers again) are still chasing after us, but they're at a pretty far distance where they have a one-in-a-million change of getting us caught. Now I think Party Poison's used to running coz, well... He's running way too fucking fast! Can an average human even run like him? I doubt it. Now I'm starting to think he has superpowers. Okay, whatever's coming in to my head is bullshit. Why am I even thinking these worthless shit? I was just think about who "they" are, now I'm thinking about if Party Poison has superpowers? Fuck! I think I'm going crazy! Insane!

Then, after minutes of endless running (by Party Poison, I'm kind of relaxing and at the same time, panicking), we finally saw an open road and when I glanced at Party Poison, he looked pretty excited at something. Now I'm getting pissed off at him even more. He really does keep things to himself! Do I have to talk or shout at him just to know what he's fucking thinking? Damn, another mindfuck! Party Poison ran to the middle of the open road, I don't know why he did that, but if he's thinking we could escape from the Vampire-fuckers by running to the middle of the road... He's wrong. Fucking wrong. In fact, the sight of us can bring more attention to those motherfuckers because they can see us clearly in the open road. Marvelous plan, Party Poison! Genius! Great! Hm... I'm starting to think if his arms are still okay, coz he's been carrying me all the way, not that I'm worried about him (I am not worried about him, seriously), I'm just curious. I wouldn't be too curious if he told me something without me having to start the fucking conversation!

Huh? Why are we slowing down? Fuck. Party Poison's getting tired. He's starting to pant. Another fuck. The Vampire-fuckers are getting closer and closer. Is this how I'm gonna die now? With the man who just saved my life (though I think he didn't, because we're gonna get killed anyway. Woo-hoo! I still have the pessimist vibes!)? Even though he has a ray gun, he couldn't shoot all of those. It's impossible. Sigh... And I thought that everything was getting better, but actually right now, it's for the worse. Expect the unexpected. All Party Poison's efforts have been wasted, though I still admire his heroism. Salutations, Party Poison! I'll see you in hell with those Vampire-fuckers!

And all of a sudden, we hear... Music? Coming from... Huh? A car coming towards us? And I thought that cars were already extinct! When I looked at Party Poison, he smirked (once again, that fucking smirk! I'm never gonna get tired of calling his smirk the fucking smirk, whether you like or not!) and said,

"Just in time."

Huh? Does that mean... Fuck yeah! We're saved! I hope that the car has lots of people that can wipe off all the Vampire-fuckers chasing after us! It would be awesome to see some real action on the spot. Party Poison then started to run faster again. Maybe that got his adrenaline pumped. Good, 'cause he's gonna need it. And finally! The car meets... Us?! What the fuck?! Why did the car pass right through us?! Fu-- Oh, it stopped. Cool, what a drift. The doors of the car then opened, where there's... A helmet-wearing and skinny guy and an afro-haired guy wearing an eye patch. That's all? Only two guys? I thought they were at least five! That sucks! How can two guys possible wipe off an entire army of...

Never mind, they started shooting off those Vampire-fuckers with no problem, they have the appropriate distance to do it. Wow, they're smart. Makes me think if Party Poison's smart. Well, I'll have my answers... In time. Party Poison looked at me where I looked at him back. He didn't have anything written on his face; his face was blank and I don't know why. Damn, he's still fucking mysterious as ever! He then started walking towards the car with him carrying me, where he gently puts me in the back seat (good thing gently, 'cause if he did it like when has let go of my legs a while ago, I'd beat the shit out of him if I get back on my feet). Then... He smiled at me. Not smirked, but smiled.

"Now you can relax," he said softly as if he was my mom and I was her kid who came from a hard day of nothing but school. I thought of something to say but then I just nodded, where I then lied on the back seat and closed my eyes, starting to feel totally "relaxed", with the appropriate background music, which is actually coming from the radio of the car and appropriate guys to protect me for a while, this is the life.

And from a tiring, fucking day, I started to fall asleep, but then, I hear footsteps. Damn, hope those footsteps aren't coming from those Vampire-fuckers. I opened my eyes and saw that it was Party Poison. A sigh of relief came from me, where I wiped off the sweat from my head, coz of the hot climate and nervousness. He leaned towards me after that, lifting up legs and placing it... on his legs?! Oh... He's just going to sit. Phew! I thought it was for another reason or something!

"This is not what you think, 'kay? I just have nothing to sit on," he said, looking at me with serious eyes. You just read my mind, boy. Good. I nodded and said,

"Yeah, yeah. I get it."

I hear more footsteps coming and at the door of the car, I saw close-up the helmet-wearing guy and the afro guy. They're pretty scary zoomed-in, but I think they're like Party Poison, damn fucking mysterious.

"Who's this, Party Poison?" The afro guy asked. The helmet-wearing guy is wait... Staring? Or glaring? I can't see his face, goddamn it! Party Poison glanced at me and replied,

"Frank Iero, a guy I just saved from those Draculoids."

I waited for immediate reactions or comments, or maybe even rants. But the two just nodded and the helmet-wearing guy said,

"Okay then, you take care of him."

What the fuck?! Did they just treat me like I'm a newly bought pet or something?! Nice first impressions motherfuckers!

"By the way, he's Kobra Kid and he's Jet Star," Party Poison pointed out to me. So, Kobra Kid's the helmet-wearing dude while Jet Star's the afro dude. Goddamn, why do they have such... lame names?! I don't even get what their names are supposed to mean! Whatever... If I make a nickname of my own, it'll be epic! And of course, better than theirs!

"Where's our next stop?" Party Poison asked, looking at Kobra Kid. Kobra Kid removed his helmet and it reveals that he has blonde hair, not-so-natural blonde hair. Like Party Poison's.

"Diner," Kobra Kid replied. Huh? A diner? Why a diner of all places? Don't they have a secret base or something? They ruin my fun. Hm, seems like I'll have new adventure, with a bunch of three, fucking mysterious ray gun-shooting guy, where it's 3 (or 4) against the world (or those Vampire-fuckers). Oh, my life. So fucked up.